questioning-aspec-culture-is

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

Hi again, is there a term for being partially reciprosexual? Cause for me I generally won't develope rom/sexual feelings for someone unless ik they could possibly have them for me, but I also don't end up in love with everyone who shows attraction towards me? I might be misunderstanding reciprosexual tbh. I also don't tend to fall in love with friends once I'm close to someone platonically? Idk if that's a thing. Sorry for the rambling I just don't have anyone else to ask

hey! mod amaranth here

so i think that the experience you're describing is, in fact, reciprosexual! unfortunately, i don't know a more specific label for this particular experience, but yes, i do believe that reciprosexual is among the appropriate ones you can use!

as for not tending to fall for people you're close to platonically, i believe that you may want to look in fraysexual and/or frayromantic as a starting point! fraysexual is when you only feel sexual attraction to people you aren't close with, but generally also lose that attraction as you get to know them (frayromantic is its romantic counterpart). it may not entirely encompass your experience, but it seems like a good starting point for further research :))

hope this helps! <3

#questioning ask #mod amaranth #reciprosexual #fraysexual #frayromantic #attraction #will i ever learn how to tag things? probably not #lgbtqia+ #queer

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

up until recently i thought i couldn't be on ace spectrum, but something made me realize that of people i know and can come up to, nobody made me wanna engage in a sexual relationship with them, even the ones i found attractive or had a crush on. so this whole time i basically fantasized about the process, and not anyone specific. does this make sense?

for example, i haven't had luck in gaining any experience, and i used to think that maybe if my bedroom continued to be dead for too long, i could offer a friend to try something to at least find out what it actually feels like. it was the only thing that interested me, and the person i would try to do it with didn't really matter as long as i felt safe (hence a friend, someone i could trust)

is that what people actually mean by saying that they are not attracted to anyone? its been literal this whole time? does what i describe sound like a reason to consider i might be somewhere on the spectrum?

hi there! mod amaranth here

yes, it does sound possible that you are not experiencing sexual attraction! attraction is towards a specific person, so wanting to commit sexual acts without regard as to who you are commiting them with generally doesn't fall under that category. you may want to consider doing further research if that's something you want to do. based on the information given in your ask, it sounds possible that you're asexual

and yes, it is literal! i can't speak for everyone who identifies as asexual, but i don't feel any desire to commit sexual acts with any person

hope this helps! <3

#questioning ask #mod amaranth #sexual attraction #attraction #asexual #lgbtqia+ #queer #one day i'm gonna figure out how to properly tag things

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

Questioning aspec culture is really wanting a romantic relationship for a long time but only in vague terms (never having a crush on anyone specific) and as soon as someone shows interest you realize that all desire for romance has vanished

<2

#questioning aspec culture is #romance #romantic relationship #relationships

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

so is love diffirent than attraction? i dont think i feel attraction but i feel love, and so i assumed that i was aroace because i dont like, look at people and think anything romantic or sexual about them, and the idea of thinking those thoughts about anyone i dont know or anyone im friends with is distressing. but im still really confused about it because attraction and love are used interchangeably a lot of the time even when im looking at aspec labels. but also i think ive only felt romantic love for one person?

Hey! Mod Amaranth here

Yes! Love and attraction are separate things. My understanding is that attraction is more of a desire compared to love. Since they're independent things, you can definitely feel one without the other, so hopefully that helps clear things up! I think it's possible those other sources meant that "being in love" is interchangeable with "being attracted to". In which case, yes, those two are synonyms, I believe.

Hope this helps! <2

#questioning ask #mod amaranth #attraction #love #aroace #lgbtqia+ #queer

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

what does platonic attraction feel like? how do i know if im experiencing it? also is greyplatonic or even demiplatonic a thing? how do they work?

hey! mod amaranth here

i found a handy reddit ask that you can peruse for some more in detail answers, but the general consensus on what platonic attraction feels like is a warmth or excitement over being with someone that lacks certain hallmarks of romantic attraction. personally, it's an urge to spend more time with someone, but without the urge for it to be romantic (although i don't feel romantic attraction, so)

being aplatonic is spectrum just like other parts of the aspec! so, yes, grayplatonic and demiplatonic are existing labels :)) i myself nebulously identify as demiplatonic!!

hope this helps! <3

#questioning ask #mod amaranth #aplatonic #aplspec #platonic attraction #greyplatonic #grayplatonic #<- bc idk how to spell greay #demiplatonic #lgbtqia+ #queer

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

Questioning arospec culture is holding hands and being really close with one of your friends until the lines blur between romantic and platonic and you’re very confused

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#questioning aspec culture is #platonic relationships #romantic relationships #intimacy #lgbtqia+ #queer

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

questioning arospec culture is not being romance favorable, neutral, or repulsed but a secret fourth thing (too many positive feelings on romance to be repulsed too many negative feelings to be favorable and too many Feelings to be neutral. romance questionable.)

<2

#questioning aspec culture is #aromantic #romance favourable #romance neutral #romance repulsed #love the term 'romance questionable' anon lmao #lgbtqia+ #queer

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

questioning aspec culture is identifying as ace not necessarily because you have NO sexual attraction, but because your sexuality feels so separate from your romantic attraction that they don’t correlate

<3

#questioning aspec culture is #asexual #aromantic #romantic attraction #sexual attraction #attraction #lgbtqia+ #queer

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

Questioning aspec culture is am I actually aspec at all, or am I just an allocishet who’s forced their way into queer spaces?

I’ve been feeling more of what I like to call Confusing Man Feeling #1 a lot more recently, and I really can’t tell if it’s attraction. I am unhappy with the idea of feeling attraction, tbh.

Idk what’s wrong with me.

<2

#questioning aspec culture is #ok before i do the rest of the tags just wanna say #anon i promise you that you are not forcing your way into queer spaces #questioning is a valid thing and being in queer spaces are a great way to figure it out #as long as you arent actively like hurting anyone you're not hurting us by existing #and even if it turns out you are allocishet #well at least now you know that and youve explored different aspects of yourself! #okay now back to your regularly scheduled tags #mod amaranth #<- bc i think i went on long enough for that lmao #attraction #lgbtqia+ #queer

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

Questioning aspec culture is not knowing whether you’re actually aspec because how do know if you feel romantic/sexual attraction if you’ve never felt romantic/sexual attraction

<3

#questioning aspec culture is #attraction #aromantic #asexual #romantic attraction #sexual attraction #ugh mood anon #good rule of thumb i use is that if idk what it feels like i probably dont experience it #but that doesnt work for everyone :p #lgbtqia+ #queer

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

Aplatonic questioning alloromantic culture is hearing that arospecs can have crushes too and believing that and wanting to support arospecs with crushes but at the same time wondering if they’re telling you that because they can’t imagine an alloromantic aplatonic because of the idea of “being your partner’s best friend”

<2

#questioning aspec culture is #aplatonic #aromantic #lgbtqia+ #queer

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

Questioning aspec culture is too aroace to be questioning, but too questioning to be aroace.

(In my case, I would subdivide it more into, too alloallo to be aroace, but too aroace to be alloallo...it goes like this. Complicated😔😔)

<2

#questioning aspec culture is #aroace #allo #lgbtqia+ #queer

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

ok so what does it mean if i occasionally feel sexually attracted to people and want to have sex, but most of the time think people are hot and sex is a weird thing people do? is there any label or anything that describes that? is it on the ace spectrum? i just feel confused rn

hey! mod amaranth here

occasionally feeling sexual attraction to people can be described by general asexuality (as it is feeling little to no sexual attraction), aceflux (where your sexuality fluctuates, but generally you're somewhere on the acespec and/or asexual), or acespike (generally you feel little to no sexual attraction, but occasionally experience intense periods of sexual attraction), among other labels

another thing you could possibly identify as is sex-ambivalent (having both favourable and averse thoughts regarding sex and/or having fluctuating opinions on having sex)

hope this helps! <3

#questioning ask #mod amaranth #sexual attraction #acespec #asexual #aceflux #acespike #sex ambivalent #lgbtqia+ #queer

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

So I originally came here talking about how i had a squish on my best friend who is nonbinary. Positive update: we are queerplatonic partners

Neutral/negative? update: i have started having romantic feelings for them I think. I dont wanna screw things up and I think they only see me as a mallowfriend and nothing more.

Anyone got advice for me?

hi! mod amaranth here

sorry this has been sitting in our inbox for so long sfdjk i hope things are better now! and congrats on the relationship <3

if you still need advice: the best i can give is to talk to them about it. communication is a wonderful tool, and it'd be invaluable to the both of you if you talk through this. might there have to be renegotiation of boundaries and such? absolutely! but i think sitting down and having a serious talk about it is the best route forward, as being clear in a relationship -- regardless of type -- is the best way to keep you both happy with it.

(of course, take this with a grain of salt. my word is not gospel!)

hope this helps! <3

#questioning ask #mod amaranth #relationships #queerplatonic relationship #attraction #romantic attraction #lgbtqia+ #queer

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

Anon who sent in an ask about questioning being frayplatonic, you don't have to answer it, I'm sorry haha. Think I just needed to vent, sorry

Hey! Mod Amaranth here

Absolutely don't apologize!! You're fine <3 I'm glad our blog was a safe enough space for you to vent!

If you don't want us to answer, then we won't, don't sweat it!!

#not questioning aspec #mod amaranth

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

How should I refer to the person I have this sort of unclear, undefined thing with, like, just to myself and friends? Got any suggestions?

hey! mod amaranth here

assuming i'm not grossly misinterpreting this, this sounds like smth you should bring up with your person! labels can be whatever you want. however, here are a few ideas i can think of:

situationship seems to be a possible term?

mallowfriend, marshmallow, and zucchini are popular options among people with qprs, so you could find some inspiration there?

partner could also work?

perhaps something you associate with them, suffixed with -friend? (ex. plantfriend)

but yeah! you can get rather creative with it, and i hope you find something that works for you/both of you!

hope this helps! <2

#questioning ask #mod amaranth #relationships #labels #relationship labels #lgbtqia+ #queer

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

questioning aspec culture is not wanting your crush to like you back romantically, you just want to be good friends with them

<2

#questioning aspec culture is #romantic attraction #romantic relationsip #aspec #lgbtqia+ #queer