#i couldn't resist singing mushroom.

[rumor-weed]

The cool of the air settled around Archibald as he walked through the forest. It was ominous enough, but the note that had asked him to be there chilled him even deeper.

There's not "mushroom" in here and I'm getting kind of lonely. I think it's time you and I met because you could be my only. I'm getting out my banjo and I'm waiting for you here. I'll only play the notes you want when you're feeling

The last word was smudged, and Archibald, in retrospect, was not entirely sure why he decided to follow the tucked-away map that charted a course in red ink through the fungus mortis woods. Still, he had never received a poem before, and though you would never suspect it, he was quite a fan of banjo music.

He perked up a little when he heard the distant, melodic twangs of the world's most beautiful instrument (if you were to get rid of all the better ones). Surely, things couldn't be all bad if someone was playing the banjo.

As he followed the sound, it grew to sound less like tuning and more like an intense, rapid, thing, and his own speed increased with the music. "Oh, joy! It's bluegrass!" He excitedly chirped.

But when he got to the clearing, the music stopped as if pausing for a breath. And followed soon, a soft, tender voice came from behind him.

"It's me. Hi. I'm the problem it's me,"

Archibald whipped around in shock. "Oh! I'm sorry, I was mistaken. I thought you were going to play bluegrass. I got your letter. What was it you wanted from me?"

The Mushroom batted pretty eyes, half smiled at him and played a few more notes. "I don't know what I want, so don't ask me, because I'm still trying to find a place in this world."

"Oh. Well, you were the one who contacted me. I thought there was a reason."

"You should've said "No", you should've gone home. You should've thought twice 'fore you let it all go," the Mushroom responded in song.

"Well, on all accounts, you are correct. I don't think it matters, but -"

"So I start a fight 'cause I need to feel something, and you do what you want 'cause I'm not what you wanted,"

"Oh. Um... this does sound a bit like a you problem. I'm afraid I don't even know you!"

"You never did give a damn thing, honey, but I cried, cried for you. And I know you wouldn't have told nobody if I died, died for you, died for you," She swifted singingly.

"You've... you've done this one already." He felt quite uncomfortable. The kind of uncomfortable one might feel after being summoned into the woods by a pretty stranger with a banjo singing Taylor Swift lyrics at you but never doing a full song. He began to hear rustling from behind him as someone approached. He turned around, spotting a figure in the woods.

"Do you still feel like you know what you're doing? 'Cause I don't think you do," She asked, and Archibald saw the small figure approach. A young asparagus, familiar to him.

He turned, eyes full of tears. "Whatever I did to you, I'm sorry! Please just let me go! I'm not that big of a Swiftie, I - I only have her early albums, and -"

She shook her head solemnly. "Band-aids don't fix bullet holes, you say sorry just for show."

"I really do mean it, actually -"

The tiny asparagus cleared his throat, and Archibald turned back in time to see him raise a gun.

"Junior!" He cried out. "Why?"

"You know exactly why," Junior said, his eyes narrowed as he focused.

Archibald's phone began to ring from the pocket of his sweater vest.

"Sorry, the old Archibald can't come to the phone right now. Why? Because he's dead." The Mushroom mocked him

"No, no! Please! No!" He shrieked, but he was cut off as the world went dark.

The last thing he heard was the beautiful twang of a banjo, and a mushroom softly singing, "You're tied together with a smile but you're coming undone. Goodbye, baby... With a smile, baby, baby..."

#random generating writing prompts for VT #i couldn't resist singing mushroom. #also probably gonna delete later just goofing. running through a couple other random prompts just to like. get words down. #need to be doing actual writing but want some less serious bullshit first lol #veggietales #veggie tales #ryan writes vt #fics #read your veggies #vt fic #vt fanfic #drabble #veggietales fic #veggietales fanfic #do you know how hard it was to find this? I will in fact put this in the main tag

[themackenzieboydchronicles]

Harriet Disturbs Meena.

Meena walked into the church.

"Thank goodness Hairy Harriet isn't about" Meena thought looking around the church. "I mean doesn't she realise that hairy underarms just aren't Kosher"

"Ave Maria" sang Meena in the church at the top of her voice."Gratia Plena" she sang as she lit three candles. "Dominus Tecum" she carried on singing. "Shubert knew what he was doing when he wrote that song. I often wondered on what occasion would you sing it. Now I know" she said with an eerie smile on her face.

"If you kill three people you qualify as a serial killer. That is so reassuring" Meena mumbled to herself. "My mission is nearly complete"

"So glad Harriet isn't here to disturb me today. The last time I was here It took days to get the image of her out of my head lying prostate on the floor completely naked and shouting "Father I have sinned"

Who on earth is that singing? Meena? What the hell is she here for Harriet pondered to herself.

"Hello Meena" Harriet asked "Can I help you with something?"

"My God. Do you have to creep up on people like that" shouted a startled Meena. "Isn't a church supposed to be a sanctuary"

"Sorry I startled you. Are you here for anything in particular?" Harriet asked.

"Well I just came in to soak up the atmosphere" said Meena. "It quite refreshes me to know that there is somewhere to go to collects ones thoughts, and I just couldn't resist lighting a candle or three. I mean it's a mark of respect to light a candle to the nearly departed"

"Dont you mean the dearly departed" Harriet asked.

"Oh yes there is that as well" said Meena.

"Tell me have you ever sinned Harriet? I mean really sinned" Meena asked.

"What makes you think that" asked Harriet.

"Well I saw you and Dawnie one night putting a rolled up carpet into the boot of your car"

Harriet gulped "Er! yes we had a spillage"

"Not blood I hope" Meena teased.

"What makes you think that? asked Harriet.

"Oh nothing it just takes one to know one" Meena laughed. "Got to love you and leave you now as I promised Billy I would make a mushroom stroganoff for Dawnie.

"Dont let me keep you" Harriet said

"Could I make a suggestion? A few cushions on the pews wouldn't go amiss. They are not the most comfortable of benches to park your bum on. By the way how is business? Maybe I could throw some your way" grinned Meena.

"Dear God Dawn was right. There is something not quite right about her" Harriet said to herself. "How does she know about the carpet" said Harriet shuddering.

#meena jutla #harriet finch #emmerdale #ave maria