#i dont rly wanna do it alone tho cause seeing the world without anyone to share it is lonely tbh

[asakurahaos]

me the past few days, especially today after finding out i cant see my therapist anymore: i have to run away like srsly just get away from here and like go around the world on my own at my own pace and just find myself and my purpose i cant be here i need to go

random live tiktok shoved me in: 'now were doing a reading for aries, in this year youre going to find a new thing for yourself and become a leader of some sorts, and will do this by traveling to many places, youre going to go around the globe on your own and make your own way and find your life path and calling

BITHCJ THE FUKC DONT DO THIS TO ME

#i dont believe in horoscopes or tarot or anything of the sort #but this was all i could think abt this afternoon and she just appeared and like.. said all of it out loud and abt my sign?? #like. bro. #i want to do all of this and hearing it made the need to go worse but also gave me hope i would do it #i dont rly wanna do it alone tho cause seeing the world without anyone to share it is lonely tbh #also no i was not previously on the side of tt that focuses on readings #so it literally just came out of nowhere #and i wasnt talking abt my thoughts anywhere else #things like this happen to me often tho #thinking about something and it appearing out of nowhere.. i guess this is one of those times.... i manifest stuff??? #(idk if thats the right term but ive seen it used and kinda sounds what ive been doing my entire life #)

[chicca-what-blog]

So weird how much weight i’ve lost, don’t even know how it happens anymore lol. Can literally see all ma bones almost without havin to like push em out, idk lol. weird. very weird.

Kinda diggin’ it, kinda dyin also LOL

But for real im too broke for this bad mental/physical health life ?? like i cant afford £10+ each time medicine runs out for more are u kidding me lol also i need loads of new clothes like when ive been stressed (all the time) ive been makin the tiny holes in my jeans bigger like fgs i caN NOT AFFORD 2 BE DOING THAT. also all of the clothes I own r like 2 big on me an it urks the life out of me lol

BUT i guess asking for someone to stay close to me an not shut me out of their life is too much to ask right bc i could be on ma way 2 recovery an not feelin so bad but nope,, with no help from literally anyone as everyone keeps leavin me,, I AM ALONE dealing w ma problems an it is HARD ok. Also this year has been HORRIBLE to me I want death like 100x a day lmao seriously tho its a fricken joke,, life pls stop bein a rat an just give me like 5 spliffs an some coca cola an let me relax lol

ALSO i cant rly sleep good anymore ?? like i have been havin the worst sleep in the past like month or so idk lol just always wakin up an tossin n turnin an wakin up still shattered feelin like ave not slept at all ???????

And seriously tho like whys everyone always gotta leave me ???? i try my best with everyone an they literally always either leave me cos they just cba w me anymore or they leave me cos they found someone else ?????? I AM TIRED OF EVERYONE DOING THIS ALL THE TIME CAN YOU IMAGINE THE PAIN I GO THOUGH EVERYDAY BECAUSE OF STUPID PEOPLE WHO DON’T EVEN DESERVE MY LOVE OR FRIENDSHIP OR ANYTHING like wtf rats

Not bein funny or anythin but i’ve been lowkey speakin to my ex again an I still feel NOTHING for her even tho a year ago or summit i thought the world of the ho ??? still not over my last ex an it is frickin depressin legit makes me wanna top meself more an more every frickin day i’m so fed up WHY CANT MY FRICKIN LIFE STOP BEIN SO FRICKIIIIN SHITTY wha have a even DONE to deserve this ???

Also btw love when ppl go round tellin randoms who dont know me tha am crazy even tho am not but OK x      Don’t hurt someone n drive them insane then go round slaggin them off asif u havent caused them to literally wanna die lol x

1 more thing lol,, this ho ain’t lettin no rat close 2 me anymore bc all it frickin does is ends up messy,, even me own best mate does nothin but causes drama an stress for me an slags me off to people ‘Oh all my mates are getting sick of her’ ‘Oh i’m so glad she’s busy today so I don’t have to see her’

PISS OFF fuckin rats everywhere i’m literally done

srry this is so long lol im legit just so done with this life just give me a cocktail an some weed an ma bed, also some coca cola an some crisps an LEAVE ME ALONE