#i felt pathetic crying at the bus stop in front of everyone like that lmao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

marvinswriting · 4 years

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tiny bus

this ones for the anon who wanted mean damian. im sorry to whoever didn’t. tw: d slur g/t mean girls

The tiny bus comes an hour after school ends.

It's a long wait and frankly, an annoying one.

I never had to take the tiny bus before.

In eighth grade, Ms. George picked me up.

At the beginning of high school, Ms. Hubbard picked me up.

Up until recently, Damian drove me home.

But-

Damian couldn't drive me home anymore.

I slam my locker shut, swinging my bag onto my shoulder. Where the hell was I supposed to go for the next hour?

I didn't have anyone to talk too.

When did everything go downhill?

My art show.

The night Cady showed her true colors.

The night Cady officially went full plastic.

The night Damian chose her.

That last fact made my head spin. It still didn't feel real.

Damian was the one person I thought I could trust. The one person I thought would always be there.

No matter what.

How stupid was I for believing it?

I could handle losing Cady. Yeah, it hurt. I knew it would hurt for a while.

But I didn't know Cady for long.

I trusted Damian with my life.

Trusted.

I turn away from my locker with a scowl.

Where was I even supposed to go for an hour?

I make my way to the tiny pick up zone.

I'm not getting picked up. There's no one there to pick me up.

But it's the only accessible place in the school with ac and cameras.

And now that I'm alone to myself I need the latter more than ever.

I slump against the wall, pulling out my phone.

The background, which was once Damian and I, is now a simple black.

I don't have any new texts or missed calls. I didn't expect any. The only notifications I ever got in the past were from Damian.

It's safe to say we aren't friends anymore.

It hurt.

Out of everyone whos ever been in my life, I thought Damian would be the one to stick around. I believed that with my whole heart.

Because Damian said he would.

He had never given me a reason to doubt him.

Or maybe he did.

Maybe I was just blind to the signs.

I never saw the hints that Regina would kick me to the side.

I never caught the cues that Cady would leave.

A teardrop lands on my phone.

I hadn't even realized I was crying.

I rub away the tears that hadn't fallen, feeling the wet patches form on my jacket sleeves.

Poor space dyke. Crying alone like the loser she is.

Nobody likes you.

Damian's gonna leave you.

You really think somebody's gonna want to stay with space dyke?

These were all things I was told in the past. All signs I blatantly ignored. They were just bullying me. None of it was true, right?

Apparently so.

"Are you crying?"

My head snapped up at the sound of a familiar voice. I was so busy lost in thought I didn't hear anyone coming.

It was after school, nobody should be coming.

Yet there stood Damian.

My gut twisted.

It was a question Damian had asked me so many times before. But this was different. He was smirking and the taunting nature in his voice was not missed on me.

"No," I say flatly. I stick my phone back into my pocket and stand up. "I was just leaving."

"Oh c'mon, you don't wanna talk to your friend? I'm waiting for Regina but she's no here yet."

"Friend?" I whirl around to face the boy in front of me. "I would love to talk to my friend. But he left! I don't know what I did wrong or why I wasn't good enough but you've changed. We're not friends anymore."

Damian was wearing the same pink shirt he gave Cady at the beginning of this mess. It felt like a punch to my gut.

Damian stepped back slightly, a flash of hurt crossing his face.

For a second- I had hope. Like maybe Damian wasn't all lost.

But then his face hardened again. "It's human nature to change, Janis."

"Right." I scoff, turning on my heels. "Bye."

"The bullying was too much to handle, Jan" Damian calls after me.

Everything about that statement sits wrong with me. I whirl around, hot with anger.

"Don't Jan me. You think I don't know about the bullying?! You think I don't understand that pain?!" I move so I'm standing in front of Damian at the edge of the tiny platform. "I went thought the same thing you did for years. I have it worse!" The tears are back, but it's more of anger than anything.

"So you understand!" Damian throws his hands up in exasperation, ignoring the way I flinch back. "I saw an out and I took it. Do not make me the bad guy here." He said harshly.

Damian was tall. I knew this. But- it didn't matter before.

Because he was my friend. He wasn't intimidating or menacing. He wouldn't hurt me.

I didn't feel the same unwavering trust now as Damian glared down at me.

He was on Regina's side. He showed who he was with.

I hoped it was all an act. Maybe when none of the other plastics were around it would be different.

But there was no one else.

And he was plastic.

Cold, hard, shiny, plastic.

I swallow, taking a step back. "I don't want to talk to you."

"Aww," Damian leaned forward. "Why not?" He got closer. "Are we not friends anymore?"

I step backward but stumble. Damian laughs as I land on my back, the contents of my bag spilling onto the floor.

"Are you scared?"

"No," I sit up, haphazardly shoving things back into my backpack. "Not of you."

"You should be."

My blood runs cold as I look back at Damian. He's fully over me at this point. I think back to when we used to be friends. This position was comfort if anything. Now?

"Please back away. Leave me alone."

Damian raises his eyebrow but doesn't move. "You can't hold it against me for just wanting to be left alone."

"But I can hold it against you for leaving your best friend alone." I spat.

Damian froze for a moment before letting out a laugh. "Oh, Jan. You didn't really think we were best friends?"

"I-"

Damian gives a breathy laugh, shaking his head.

He's so close that I can feel when he breathes and everything smells like the mint gum Gretchen's been carrying around religiously since seventh grade.

It triggered so many bad memories with Gretchen- but this wasn't Gretchen. It was Damian.

No.

I can't think like that anymore.

Damian isn't my friend.

I don’t know what he’ll do. How far he’ll go. How bad I’ll get hurt.

I stand up, stepping backward as Damian straightens himself out. I can't tell if I'm crying from betrayal, fear, or a mix of every emotion I've been hit with since birth- but I'm crying. And it's humiliating.

There's the clicking of heels behind me and I tense up.

Regina's arrived. It's about to get so much worse.

"Well, who do we have here! Hey there, Space Dyke." Regina circles around me, stopping with her back to Damian as she glares at me.

"I was just leaving." I mumble, wiping the tears from under my eyes. I feel pathetic and stupid and small.

Regina looks me up and down with disgust. "Maybe it's for the best. We don't want to be seen with you. Right, Damian?"

"Right."

There's no hesitation, there's no second-guessing.

I can physically feel my heart sink into my stomach. "Right." I mumbled, turning back into the tiny part of the school.

I'll find somewhere else to wait for the tiny bus.

"Bye-bye!" Regina calls tauntingly. There's a whisper, I don't pay attention to what she says. It's probably not nice.

"Bye Space Dyke."

I almost stop walking.

I almost turn around.

I almost want him to say it to my face.

To see if he has the guts to.

But I don't.

I turn down the hallway, out of sight from them.

There's the salty taste of tears in my mouth and I can't tell if they're fresh or if I'm still crying from earlier.

I slump down on the hallway floor, pulling my knees to my chest.

Yeah, I felt alone before, but that interaction- it solidified that Damian was gone.

He wasn't coming back.

He was plastic.

It was something I said a lot. It would be easier if you just stopped being my friend. You don't deserve the harassment.

But I never thought it would happen.

Damian would just smile and tell me he wasn't going anywhere.

But look where we were now.

Bye Space Dyke.

How long has Damian felt this way?

How long has he wanted to do that?

Was any part of our friendship genuine?

I stand up, making way to the tiny bus stop.

Guess I'll have to get used to riding on it.

boom

lmao i go from the fluffiest shit to heart break bahaah @realmisspolarbear @musicallygt @smallsoysauce

#g/t mean girls #tiny janis #giant damian #tiny regina #g/t #g/t writing #Giant/tiny

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