#venting cw

[orangeshinigami]

my day was so awful that missing the bus to go home was just the last straw for me to break down crying

#i felt pathetic crying at the bus stop in front of everyone like that lmao #but thankfully it was already dark so i don't think a whole lot of people noticed #oh well I'm finally on my way home now #after waiting for another bus to come for almost a whole hour :'))) #fuck my life #when i finally get home i need to cry some more in the shower #then maybe i will feel better at least a little bit #negativity cw #venting cw #( ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆ ) out of karakura town. | ooc.

[hegrowth]

unpopular opinion but having to look up info about fcs before I use them is tedious and depressing. I think being informed is important but like. I want to use an fc because they vibe with my character, not because I agree with or relate to or like them, you know ? but one wrong fc pick and I'm being canceled for supporting a shitty person. :x

#《 ° selkie.exe 》 oh im trash just not approved trash #° mobile post ! #° to be deleted ! #like i just dont want to be canceled or called out because i didnt know someone was problematic #but at the same time i dont agree with anyone calling out or canceling someone for those reasons so #like i dont want it to happen so im trying to prevent it. but i shouldnt have to prevent it because it shouldnt be happening ! #venting cw #venting // #vent cw #unpopular opinion cw #° ask to tag ! #ill probably delete this cuz i dont want people to think im a shitty person but its 2 am and im :c so yeah #also i just spent 30 minutes going through an actors social media to figure out if they were pro-palestine or not like #i couldnt find any info in a google search /but wanted to check to be sure/ so #idk what we call this culture. politically correct ?? idk but its got me whipped and im not happy about it.

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

man i have not posted enough pericky-specific content lately. i need to fix that. partly because it's a quality ship i love very much, and partly out of spite because tumblr is a garbage website and blocking does not keep me from seeing popular blogs around who talk about murdering pericky shippers and people who just, like, acknowledge that it's canonical SA/CSA/domestic violence survivor rep lol

#whosebaby talks #eat my entire fucking ass! #love knowing these people are constantly one degree of separation away from me at all times #and like. even beyond the obvious. it is desperately fucking triggering to me to see this kind of survivor erasure with ricky in particular #if someone does it i do not want to be reminded of their existence ever again if even slightly possible #and the hellsite! is determined! to make me see it anyway! #times like these i wish with all my heart the nerve damage hadn't made any internet usage other than mobile impossible #i'm certain there'd be extensions to fix or even mitigate that! but my body's a broken piece of shit so i guess i'll go fuck myself then 🫠 #anyway the last couple days have been hellish and i was just starting to get my equilibrium back from a different nasty tumblr-based trigger #so there goes what was left of my night and i am just. deeply fucking unhappy about it to say the least. and needed to vent #just. guh. #the salt files #SDMItag #venting cw #SA mention cw #CSA mention cw #abuse mention cw #anti-survivor cw #antis cw #death threat mention cw #i'm so tired

[the-moogle-of-your-nightmares]

hot take but 'rotting' is a fucking horrible way to refer to people who spend a detrimental amount of time physically inactive due to mental illness, and it's even worse with the near-universal connotation of 'this is your fault and you need to scrape your shit together. :/'

i'd say would you imagine calling a person who's bedbound due to chronic pain, fatigue, or mobility issues 'rotting,' except that guess fucking what a lot of us ARE confined to bed beyond that baseline because IT'S A STATE OF AFFAIRS THAT WILL WORSEN YOUR DEPRESSION HORRIBLY.

not to mention there are a lot of people who spend all their time physically inactive because they live in an abusive environment and their room is the only (relatively) safe place they have.

(spoiler alert! this post written by someone who is all three. and who has a high chance of fucking dying because of it, because my body is physically deteriorating as a result of being in this situation. it definitely helps my mental state about this to have people call me 'rotting' and imply it's only happening because i'm not putting in the effort to get better, often while saying it in a mocking tone. 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃)

and like. there are people who very fucking literally rot in bed, as a result of being in bed, usually as a result of lack of resources or neglect from caretakers or both. this is a thing that happens to people and it is a fucking HORRIFIC way to go, it is absolutely gutwrenching to read about and it's not fucking funny and it's not a fucking silly little selfcare meme.

if you come onto this post with 'omg sorry for not making every single post impossible to misinterpret with your personal experiences in mind 🙄' i will fucking bite you. i will BITE you. STOP IT.

#moogletalks #ableism cw #death cw #venting cw #fun hot tip if you talk exactly like my abusive stepdad about my illnesses you can shut the fuck up #forever! never speak again!

[collectingmuses]

// weighing the pros and cons of quitting my job and running off to become a feral cyrptid in the woods.

#ooc #I am genuinely miserable #I am so beyond your bog standard “I hate my job!” #it is affecting my mental and physical health and i need to get out of there #venting cw

[fatummortem]

i may just chill today & plot while i touch up my hawk.

have you ever just talked to someone so oblivious that they're abusive & it blows your mind. Not oblivious to the point they're like 'i feel like somethings wrong and I want to like figure out the issue.' but so utterly oblivious they just.... wow...

So I was supposed to get access to the money that is jynx's collage fund, so i can start getting Jynx here but they have it. (half the issue is i refuse to spend it on suitcases that cost a grand or a luxury plane ticket that is such a waste) then i was told mom's over it & they're not in a rush. I really wish i didn't have to play this game & just ignore her every time she has a tantrum.

This is what she wanted. She made me homeless to have rights to my child. (basically if you're not abusive, homelessness is consider abuse in the eyes of the law) Still she doesn't understand that people aren't robots that get upgraded with a format pleasing to her whim. This is the fourth child she's done this to. She's the definition of insanity at this point.

If another therapist tells me 'well they have money so it doesn't matter if it's abusive.' i will record it and flood the internet with that bullshit. Called a friend who is normally really good at advice but they just ended up going on a tangent of 'your mom is psycho' for thirty minutes. which was fantastically entertaining but unhelpful.

Y'know what, this is my new mom

#ooc #negativity cw #venting cw #i need to calm before i do the plotting tho #maybe cleaning & hair dying will do a body good who knows

[caramelmochacrow]

hey. im sorry but i need to just. spill this because it's sorta been in my mind for a few months, not outwardly, but a feeling i finally realized when this term ended.

(a vent about myself under the cut, sorry.)

i really hate how much im separated and need to hide myself from people. even if it's something simple and dumb to hide.

like, will you believe me if i say i need to keep my love of math from all of my classmates? everyone in my class hates it, they complain all the damn time and im the only one who genuinely enjoys math (even though i get frustrated with it sometimes). everytime i say "i love algebra!" or "i love graphs!" they look at me as though i am a liar or im some sort of freak. even my friends, they tell me to shut up when i say it out loud even though i dont say anything when they say they want our math teacher to die or they complain about something i like about math. (which kinda hurts me as well lol)

i understand the dislike for math, i disliked it before, but saying you genuinely want our teacher to die just because she teaches a subject you dislike is fucking dumb. i was starting to unlearn that, but now im starting to relearn it, which isnt helping myself at all. (i really want to tell them off about it, but i dont want to also.)

there's also my love of music that i've complained here before once, i need to keep it quiet because when they hear someone likes anime or j-pop they think im a weeb that's obsessed w anime men and want to see them butt naked. i hate it. i hate when i listen to rock, i hate when i listen to metal, but i love it so much i cant. i don't even listen to music in school anymore because i feel so self conscious about it. i feel that i'll be judged at and be seen as some sort of weirdo that they'll whisper about behind my back.

there's also the glaring obvious fact that im very-gay-for-girls-but-also-a-transguy. im in an all girls school, but there are a few non-cis people here for semi obvious reasons. i dont feel comfortable being out much for obvious reasons and i feel miserable here. most of the people here are actually chill w the trans people in my school but some just love asking uncomfortable questions like why they were there instead of the boys school or about their names. it freaks me out. it scares me. it makes me want to never come out and be myself. there was this time today when i was in my business class and made my nickname for this game 'birdboy' which led to my teacher asking why i used boy rather than girl, which led to me and my friend (another non-cis person and one of the people i came out to) saying that it just flowed better and not because i was a transguy. that teacher was surprisingly chill w trans people being in her class though, she asked my friend his preferred name and started calling him that, there's also another friend of mine in that class and she's also chill w him and his name, so i think she's ok.

other than my gender, there's my sexual orientation, which im not even sure on. i like girls, girls are can be pretty and handsome, but if i said that, they would hate me for being gay(?), which is also terrible because most people in my school are homophobic, yay. i got asked once for no fucking reason and without prompt if i liked girls or boys and i fucking panicked and said i didn't like either, which led them to asking if i was straight or bi (didn't even say lesbian, smh) which i also denied because i didn't rlly liked men anyway (what they got for not saying lesbian) and also didn't want to say i was gay(?) to my entire class before a fucking we went to our social studies class. i was so fucking scared when they asked that.

like, my school is accepting of queer people and lets them wear what type of uniform they like (except for me because my mom filled out my form for me which didnt let me put my preferred pronouns and kind of uniform) but it feels so hard to believe with the amount of hate towards specifically those who aren't fem presenting. it makes me feel torn apart with if i want to be who i want to be or be hidden behind this false version of myself that ive been hiding behind for almost my entire life. i feel so terrible.

i feel so disconnected from people of my own culture as well. i suck at tagalog, i know how to talk in tagalog, but i speak like a little five year old. every time i speak to other filipino people, there's a disconnection, there's a thing i dont understand or know about my own culture. i feel like some sort of failure as a filipino person.

im better at english than tagalog, so that means i must be fine, right? no. not at all. other than the other stuff i said above, they dont use american english, the one i learned. and since i lived my entire life in the philippines, i dont know some stuff in new zealand. they get shocked when i dont know something that is pretty much so well known here, when i dont know the british equivalent of an american word or when i dont know any maori words. i feel so fucking dumb every time it happens.

i just hate how much i dont know and how disconnected i feel from the world and those around me.

#vent tw #vent cw #venting cw #venting tw #transphobia tw #transphobia cw #sorry there's probably a lot i need to tag that idk yet. #but.... eugh. #i think that's the main stuff that could trigger people #again im sorry i just needed this out of my thoughts.

[hydrvs]

i am having a hard time sticking to one blog nowadays. i am searching myself i think. idk... i craved rp so much but i feel that, people don't crave it as much with me anymore.

to put you in perspective, i remain vigilant these days. 2023 was... a disaster. i rped with many people who manipulated me to a point where my confidence took a toll. these people tried to drive me into getting rid of friends *i didn't need*, * i didn't deserve*. these people tried to isolate me in order to have me from themselves so no one else would rp with me. it's kind of sad when you think about it... because i truly loved them.

they knew how to get to me, to play with my head. give yaz what they want and tadaaaa.

i got rid of them when the truth was spoken... but with that said, i feel like they took a piece of my passion with them.

it made me miserable. i still am miserable. i want to rp but something in my head tells me, people don't want to invest with me anymore.

i'm so sorry if i ever made anyone feel like they were unwanted. trust me. i would never intentionally do that to anyone.

#. 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 : ( ooc ) #venting cw

[sclfmastery]

i am in a REALLY bad way today so please don't mind me, but lately i'm genuinely unsure if i still have the emotional stamina to make content addressing th/osche/i from the POV of the Master. it's just so demoralizing to be in the headspace of the person who is always left behind, who "learns" from those many abandonments only how to do increasingly more messed up and convoluted things not to become an obsolescence in the eyes of the most fascinating and hopeful being in the universe.

maybe being left behind is too close to home for me these days. i don't know. it's not like i'm going to stop writing him so i'm not sure what purpose this post serves, LOL. ah well.

#ooc #personal #venting cw

[galaxywhump]

found my old writing and it just made me sad

#it's very old and in polish #and it's honestly not bad #i just feel sad when i read my old stuff and i can see that i had more energy back then #more love for writing #i still love it #but it's just. different. #so idk #online learning affected my writing for sure #because sitting down with a laptop after classes was just no longer a reward and something to look forward to #because i'd spend the classes in front of a laptop too #and i don't know if i can go back to that feeling of looking forward to writing #don't mind me i'm just swimming in nostalgia mixed with whatever this is #i miss loving writing more than anything #marti vents #delete later #venting cw

[hegrowth]

🚩 🚩🚩TEA. SPILL. NOW.

send me a 🚩 and i'll share my unpopular rpc opinions and hot takes. || accepting

oof ya'll we are in for it now. it's time... for puffin's hot take on softblocking. because yes I am and always will be salty about this shit, come fucking fight me and my anxiety-ridden existence.

firstly. I softblock inactive and archived blogs. I think that's chill. but I also always say I'm doing that, so in the event I accidentally softblock someone I didn't mean to and they check my blog like ??? they'll see that post and be like ah okay, it was a mistake.

now. for the love of fuck, why do people say they softblock when unfollowing folks in their rules but also state they do not want to be contacted if they unfollow you ? this is why I have anxiety. like, if you're gonna get offended every time someone messages you to make sure it wasn't an accident or glitch just block people.

and yeah, that is probably where 90% of my anxiety comes from, and why I struggle to reach out to people. because me, popping into someones DMs to make sure it wasn't a mistake gave them the ick and they decide to vague about me or block me anyway. grow the fuck up. and stop assuming the worst about people !

because you know what ? your self-righteous "ew don't talk to me after cutting you off" like tumblr isn't a glitching hellsite / mobile tumblr isn't an accidental thumb-swish away from deleting your blog is not friendly to your neurodivergent followers who struggle to understand situations and approach people.

because being disgusted by someone's genuine concern is shitty. if I come to you like, hey... it's because I noticed, and it mattered to me, and I managed to overcome the anxiety telling me everyone secretly hates me. you being rude about it isn't sexy, and it isn't cool. like, good for you. you're no longer being haunted by my lame ass.

listen. I understand that anxiety exists, obviously. but if that whole situation up top gives you anxiety then you should just block people. and also, if you are softblocking folks but aren't comfortable with them contacting you about it ??? copypastas bitch. a simple "hey, thanks for reaching out ! I did mean to softblock you, nothing personal, just please don't contact me anymore or follow me." goes a long fucking way, because if they then choose to keep pushing it ? you've set your boundaries, they're the asshole now, not you.

because the sentiment I see a lot is "I don't owe you an explanation" and I agree with that 10,000% !! do not come to me asking about why I blocked you or your friend or whatever else, I will not tell you, I do not have to tell you. but re: the copypasta I provided above ? no reasons, just facts. the only explanation you do owe someone is a clarification of the situation, aka setting your boundaries. no one needs to know why those boundaries are being set, in fact I fucking applaud you for setting them, but you do need to communicate that those boundaries are there.

SOFTBLOCKING ISNT ENFORCING A CLEAR BOUNDARY. softblocking is a petty ass way to rid yourself of someone. the metaphor I often see used is its the equivalent of scooping up a spider in your house on a piece of paper and putting it outside. I don't know about ya'll, but when I'm removing a critter from my home that I do not want in it I am actively talking to it and explaining the situation, even if it doesn't understand me, because I want it to know I mean it no harm and please don't come back. guys, no fucking joke, I wished a wasp a merry fucking christmas when I had to remove it from my house because I felt so bad my cat had been torturing it. wasps probably don't celebrate christmas !

point being, I communicate my boundaries to the spiders I'm taking out of my house like they're going to respect them. ya'll should do the fucking same. grow up. we all have anxiety. we all struggle to understand and accept certain social environments and interactions, especially online. we're all doing our best.

don't be a fucking asshole if you softblock someone and they want to make sure it was purposeful. in fact, don't be an asshole to anyone. there is no valid reason to be an asshole to anyone in the rpc, jfc.

also yes, if you softblock me I will block you, because I do not have the mental endurance to deal with the "they hate me" monologue spiraling through my silly little brain. because too many times I have experienced scorn and disgust and hate at being reached out to about softblocking and that has cemented in my brain, more than the anxiety it was a mistake. like just fucking block me, then.

so like. either don't softblock folks or grow up and communicate your boundaries, idk. and don't be an asshole, as previously stated.

this probably doesn't make any sense and has errors in logic / rationale but it's my anxious, frustrated ramblings so fuck it

final thoughts: please don't softblock me ! thanks

#《 ° inbox 》 we just got a letter ! i wonder who its from ? #《 ° selkie.exe 》 oh im trash just not approved trash #magicveiled #long post // #long post cw #venting cw #venting // #° ask to tag ! #rant cw #ranting //

[the-moogle-of-your-nightmares]

i keep going back and forth between 'i feel okay' and 'i wanna fucking throw up'

#moogletalks #venting cw #really feeling that deep utter 'keen awareness of last threads of one's lifeline to cope with The Horrors rapidly thinning' despair gents #just. Everything. god. #i have also been at the level of executive dysfunction lately where getting out of bed to heat up food and make tea #takes writing out an itinerary 30+ items long #it is. bad lmao #traumatag #adventures in mental illness

[puppyboybaby]

even when he was my daddy he would ignore me anytime i was little. I started to dread dropping because I knew if I did he’d stop talking to me until I was big again. I always felt so alone n…bad. I just wanted a daddy that would love me n take care of me n i was so excited cause I thought I was gonna get that n I didn’t. f anything I feel like it reopened every wound my inner child had and squeezed every one of them until they bled.

#venting cw #lil pup vents #age regression #age regressor

[fallroute]

I'm not getting Alhaitham this round, am I?

#ooc; hibiki rambles on #i'm running out of way to get primos and he's still not coming home #i really want him but i guess it's not meant to be this time around #venting cw #cw venting