#whosebaby talks

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

i feel like i should start making more of an effort, when i talk about something in a piece of media being Upsetting to me, to distinguish between 'cathartic' upsetting and 'gave me psychic damage' upsetting. sometimes i mean OUGH OW MY FEELINGS THIS FUCKS ME UP IN A MEANINGFUL AND RESONANT WAY, MY LIFE IS ENRICHED FOR BECOMING AWARE OF IT and sometimes i mean that it is genuinely distressing and i want to shake the creators and ask what the fuck they were thinking

#whosebaby talks #blog policy #this goes double when it comes to pieces of media to which i have both reactions lmao #i worry sometimes that not being clear about it makes it come across as if i'm saying 'something containing upsetting subject matter is Bad #when in fact a lot of upsetting subject matter is critical to depict; diversely so and often #and i am fiercely protective of the rep that resonates with me #which a lot of people are extremely quick to label as A Disrespectful Depiction absolutely no matter how it's done bc they want it erased #and use 'well it's only valid if it's done *respectfully*' as the Shirley Exception; with no intention of ever letting one be Allowed #but in spite of that there *are* absolutely fucking horrible and incredibly disrespectful ways for Upsetting Subject Matter to be depicted #and that deserves well-informed discussion and criticism; starting from an understanding of the actual purposes of fiction #and what infrastructure and language and framing and technique is used to achieve those purposes #and sometimes the purposes of a particular use are fucking awful! and executed in ways designed to cause real damage + get away with it! #so when i'm talking about something being Upsetting in the psychic damage sense; i'm referring to that #and the fact that not only is it infuriating and upsetting to witness that process in action #it amplifies the already deeply emotionally loaded subject matter; which may already require selfcare to engage with even when cathartic #and then yanks away the catharsis and just leaves you blasted in the face by uncushioned unvarnished Oh Right This Horrible Thing Exists #Thanks for Shoving My Face Straight into Boiling Acid Asshole #anyway complicated feelings about it but yeah i feel like i should try to be clearer lmao #(this isn't just about depictions of SA; and abuse in the sense most people think of first when they hear the word) #(although it comes up in that context often) #(see: Big Screan at pretty much everything with the talking animals in sd/mi but especially the fucking asylum lmao)

[stricklanderpls]

in non-salty news, a fun new game i have discovered is to scroll through the relationships.txt twitter and see how many tags you can rack up for any terrible dumpster fire ships you have. i'm starting with strickrot

#whosebaby talks #shitposting #strickrot #disclaimer that there are a lot of really triggering things that show up #because it's..... a twitter about terrible relationships #and also involves a lot of unhygienic shit #and people being terrible in general #although i will say that it actually is kind of a great resource because for every horrifying or fucked up thing that happens #there will be a ton of people pointing out exactly /why/ it's fucked #so it's actually a very good place to learn about red flags and signs of abuse/otherwise shitty treatment! #also it is a goldmine of reaction images and hilariously fucking bizarre shit #'the phd stands for piss hands doctor' is still a favorite #ANYway #i love this twitter if you can't tell

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

i am both self-conscious and deeply amused by the fact that i keep logging on and posting like five different things in a row for the same fandom over the course of like two hours before disappearing again for the night, and sometimes i wonder if i should space it out a little more. but the autism wants what the autism wants and i hate fucking around with the queue, so evening grapeshot it is

#whosebaby talks #blog policy #SDMItag #me repeatedly slamming the post button: I JUST THINK-- #shitposting

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

man i have not posted enough pericky-specific content lately. i need to fix that. partly because it's a quality ship i love very much, and partly out of spite because tumblr is a garbage website and blocking does not keep me from seeing popular blogs around who talk about murdering pericky shippers and people who just, like, acknowledge that it's canonical SA/CSA/domestic violence survivor rep lol

#whosebaby talks #eat my entire fucking ass! #love knowing these people are constantly one degree of separation away from me at all times #and like. even beyond the obvious. it is desperately fucking triggering to me to see this kind of survivor erasure with ricky in particular #if someone does it i do not want to be reminded of their existence ever again if even slightly possible #and the hellsite! is determined! to make me see it anyway! #times like these i wish with all my heart the nerve damage hadn't made any internet usage other than mobile impossible #i'm certain there'd be extensions to fix or even mitigate that! but my body's a broken piece of shit so i guess i'll go fuck myself then 🫠 #anyway the last couple days have been hellish and i was just starting to get my equilibrium back from a different nasty tumblr-based trigger #so there goes what was left of my night and i am just. deeply fucking unhappy about it to say the least. and needed to vent #just. guh. #the salt files #SDMItag #venting cw #SA mention cw #CSA mention cw #abuse mention cw #anti-survivor cw #antis cw #death threat mention cw #i'm so tired

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

hate being all dizzy and soupy when i'm sick, because i wanna talk about the contrast between ricky being genuinely happy that pericles can leave him when they first meet, even though he's obviously sad to see him go, vs pericles' obsession with owning him body and soul and how the nature of that changes after the timeskip even if the underlying framework is the same. but soup. Soup. languishes

#whosebaby talks #professor pericles #ricky owens #pericky #abuse cw #dyn: when i die i want you to die too #SDMItag #pericles when ricky immediately and irrevocably chooses to love him with his whole heart; and can never fully take it back: #anyway i started [ruining his entire life] #me: pericles i love you and you make me sad but PERISH

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

things that really suck: when a fucked up fictional dynamic is genuinely upsetting to you in a way that'd normally be much easier to engage with and process if you dead doved it, except the ship in question has been ruined for you by Bad Associations so that is a no-go and you're left to deal with the upsetting shit raw. ugh

#whosebaby talks #personal stuff #people try to claim Shipping Bad Things(tm) is self-harm and i'm like man in my case that is the literal exact opposite of the truth #dead doving triggering fictional stuff i'm trying to process is a near instant release valve to make it less of an emotional minefield #and i feel the lack of that safety valve *keenly* when i need to engage with something in fiction to process it #and would be greatly helped in the long run by doing so; but i'm either not *interested* in shipping it #or it's been ruined for me in a way that i really am not ready to reclaim yet if ever; and would do me more harm than good if i tried #i have to be so *so* much more careful and it is *so* much easier for it to tip over into self-harm without rigorous work and safety nets #especially if the framing of the fucked up dynamic is awful in canon #it is still definitely possible for something i'm dead doving to be Too Much and in need of a time out #or to be a thing i am just squicked/triggered by in such a way that dead doving it would not help #but my threshold for the former is W A Y higher; and it is so much easier for me to identify the latter in comparison #anyway yeah i have feelings about the whole thing and it is a real damn shame when this happens. sighs

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

me thinking out a post about the kinds of aesthetics i'm drawn to in media, characters, stories, worldbuilding etc and why, in relation to both pericles and ricky but also just as a general pattern: sudden Extreme Battery-Acid-in-the-Chest Anxiety Spike

me: nervous system why this. why are you this way

#whosebaby talks #i ended up rambling for so long i ran out of tags so in a reblog they go lmao #have thought about this a lot on and off over the years and have a lot of feelings about it

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

brain is half soup and half eating itself. pokes cautiously at some of my closer-to-being-done solo rpg systems/hacks

#whosebaby talks #whosebaby does game dev #it's a dangerous game because either i recharge/distract myself or just make brain pour smoke instead #recovering from sick while sleep schedule is also in the Constantly Groggy and No Sunlight Hours part of the cycle sucksssss #the spirit hunter system is pretty much complete and so is the RPGSolo hack i was doing a ricky scene in that i've enjoyed so far #might pick one of those up a bit #hopefully once i've gotten the brain cell rested up a bit i can reply to various tags and things properly #ttrpg tag

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

one thing that does make me a little nervous sometimes about writing up pericles meta is that like.... quite a lot of it goes in-depth about the extent of how incredibly vile and cruel the things are that he does to other characters, and his reasons for doing them. that's Important, and i do my best not to try to cushion it, despite discussing how it plays into his trauma and the shit hand he was dealt and vice versa. if anything the juxtaposition of those things is the point of all this meta for me, and it gets to the heart of so, so much that resonates with me about sdmi. erasing that would be a disservice to him and basically every other character in the show that i'm invested in.

.....and at the same time it's always really sucked how often i see people talk about how one-note pure evil he is, how it's impossible to write him as a complex or sympathetic character without making him totally OOC, how people who genuinely like him are [insert apologist here], how you're not allowed to enjoy exploring the awful dynamics he gets into with people, how they want him to be gruesomely murdered by the protags and think it'd be funny and satisfying and the show would be better for it, and just generally talk about How Much They Straightforwardly Hate Him Because He Does Bad Things. not everyone does this, thankfully, but enough of them have over the years that i just don't really want to see it anymore.

i know i joke all the time about how 'i love him and he makes me sad but i am going to peel him like a banana,' and i'm not going to try to tell other people they can't dislike him or anything, especially since i know a lot of the stuff he does is going to be really fucking triggering for some people. i do my best to just curate and block, mute, or scroll past if i need to. but he's genuinely one of my favorite characters ever and he means a lot to me--especially since i can relate hard to a lot of the sympathetic themes behind his being a piece of shit--and when i write my meta posts about him, i do it to share what i love about his character, and maybe get some people to appreciate him in a new light. and the idea of actively adding to the torches and pitchforks instead is..... kind of depressing to me and i really hope that's not how it turns out.

basically i guess this is me asking preemptively, before i start writing up posts Really Getting Into His Awful Shit at Great Length and in Great Detail, that folks please be mindful with 'i hate this fucking bird' comments on posts i make. i do hope people enjoy reading what i have to say about him, and get something out of it, but.... yeah. he sucks real bad but please be nice.

#sdmi #scooby doo: mystery incorporated #professor pericles #this isn't a blanket ban on OH THIS MOTHERFUCKER or anything; because He is a Motherfucker and That's the Point #i just don't really want to hear about how much people hate him for being a Stinky Cheese Blorbo #especially given how often it veers into like. straight up holocaust denial tropes. that's always fun #if you don't know what i mean by that i recommend reading/watching takedowns/discussions of james so/merton's 'gay nazis' bullshit #because yeah that is uh. yeah. anyway calling him a nazi is a great way to catch a block from me #SDMItag #whosebaby talks #the salt files #holocaust mention cw #nazi mention cw

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

as soon as the boops dropped this morning @thecottageinthedark chose VIOLENCE

#not pictured: 17 more boops that didn't fit in the screenshot #the vast majority of these are from the tama #and that's just on my main #it has been full out war i am cackling #whosebaby talks #thecottageinthedark #shitposting #not fandoms #the boopocalypse #fave

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

something i wonder about sometimes: i'm used to people knowing me as 'moogle,' and obviously it's one of the names i've got listed in my bio, but i also go by 'whosebaby' a lot on this blog in particular (especially when i came back to it after a several-year hiatus).

a lot of people follow me on here after having known me for a While or from elsewhere, and to y'all i'm assuming i'm moogle; but i've also made a lot of friends/acquaintances/mutuals on this blog after the hiatus, which means you've probably seen me refer to myself as whosebaby way more often than moogle.

so, because i'm curious:

#whosebaby talks #polls #i'm generally more inclined to think of moogle as My Name; but i also like whosebaby a lot and enjoy going by it #so i'm interested to see what's stuck with people so far

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

PSA: if you ever, ever feel the urge to make assumptions about the abuse history of a real ass person in a discussion about depictions of fictional abuse--in particular, any variation of the words 'you don't know/should learn what real abuse is'--

a) don't

b) you're a piece of shit

c) never ever ever fucking do that

d) step on legos for the rest of your life.

#whosebaby talks #the salt files #anti-survivor cw #people absolutely cannot fucking resist doing this ever #and the ones who go mask-off usually have some lovely things to say about how you should--in fact--*experience '''real''' abuse* #it happens over and over like clockwork every fucking time #this is a big reason i appreciate LL fandom these days so much because not one single person has done that #including when i'm talking on my own blog about characters they personally like #shoutout to y'all this is the only media-specific fandom i've ever been in that was like this #anyway hi i'm an abuse survivor and the next time someone says this shit to me i am posting screenshots with no names edited out #that's not something i'm in the habit of doing even about shitty takes that upset me deeply; but i am putting my foot down on this one #if you can't fucking behave about this basic bit of decency on the posts i make on--again--my own damn blog #and you don't want to get ripped into then block me and/or filter tags; and mind your own fuckin business #blog policy

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

yassifies your evil parrot

#SDMItag #whosebaby talks #i have yet again rolled the human pericles gacha and i like this one a lot so far

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

i'm starting to realize i have a thing for characters who are Bastards with at least one fundamental good, admirable principle at the core of their personality, which they've managed to corkscrew completely inside out in their pursuit of until they're making the world worse in exactly the ways they stood against initially. it is really unfortunate that the only fucking context this is ever deployed in, as an explicit, intentional theme of a work, is Baby-Eating Leftist tropes where the lesson is that trying to stop racism makes you racist and also an orphanage-bombing terrorist, because there's SO much interesting shit that comes of examining this kind of cognitive dissonance to figure out where the fuck it started.

#whosebaby talks #SDMItag #LL tag #toa tag #because a bunch of the first examples that come to mind are from those three #ricky; pericles; five; setrákus; strick/ler; and an/gor among them #rubs my fingers together it's so good #i love running postmortem on the godawful train wreck a terrible person's belief system has become

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

[personal stuff, abuse apologia, abuse and child abuse mention]

i know people probably roll their eyes sometimes when they see me talk Very Passionately(tm) about how Goofy Mascot Characters are handled in fiction, because 'it's a kid's show moogle it's not that deep, find real media to criticize 🙄'

and like. it'd be worth talking about this even if i didn't feel strongly about it thanks to personal experience. but man, let me tell you, as a little kid going through what was happening to me back then, disney villain minions and the like in the media i was watching at the time fucked me up.

#SDMItag #whosebaby talks #cws in post #i ended up getting really attached to characters like that both individually and a whole; and rewatching movies over and over just for them #and i know that to some degree that kind of sentiment is pushback against the pattern of people who go absolutely rabid over kids' media #in particular; and refuse to engage with anything else #but damn dude this kind of thing is still worth analyzing and it's important to do so #both by itself; and as a part of the puzzle re: larger trends in media #a huge huge part of that being how often kids' media is used as *cover* for commentary about issues the creators know they'd face more #criticism for; if they published it in the sphere of media where things are allowed to have Weight and be Taken Seriously #it is both critical and really fascinating to talk about the ways that functions; why people might do it #and the artistic language and techniques used to do so #and sometimes that is important for the larger conversation about media trends and related social issues #and sometimes that is important for the little kids being beaten every other day watching utter fucking sadism toward victims like them.

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

write up long poast. tucker self out halfway through. this will not stop me

#whosebaby talks #once i get a little nap it's over for you bitches (my drafts)