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Lab Talk Episode 011: One Too Many

[April 22nd, 2018, 14:25]

Leslie peaked over the shoulders of Jeremy and Madison as they dabbled on their computers.

“So... what is the point of this game again?”

“Oh c’mon Les, it’s in the name. You mine and you craft,” Madison said.

“What... do you craft?”

“Tools, machines, food, anything you want!”

“Okay. But, what is the end-goal?”

“Ugh, Jeremy, can you explain it to her?”

“Basically, it’s a sandbox game. You get to do whatever you want. Want to build a house? You can. Want to kill zombies? You can. Want to make a farm? You can,” he elaborated.

“...It doesn’t look like a sandbox, though,” she said.

“Oh boy,” Jeremy sighed, “I bought you an account and installed it on your computer. Why don’t you just try it.”

“Is there a way to make it so it doesn’t look so... blocky? It’s kind of ugly.”

Jeremy and Madison immediately stopped what they were doing and looked back at Leslie in wide-eyed, shocked silence.

“...I mean the rest is kinda cool! It’s just the blocks, really.”

The siblings rebutted over each other in frustration to her comment.

“You really don’t get it Les,” Madison shook he head, “I wanted to keep this between me and Jeremy, you know.”

“Leslie, the blocks are imperative to the game, they are what sets it apart from all the other sandboxes,” Jeremy explained, trying to keep a calm facade.

[April 22nd, 2018, 15:34]

“What’s that?!” Leslie shouted as she explored the game.

“That’s a village,” Jeremy said.

“There’s villages? Are there people?!”

“Yes, there are. They’ve got all kinds of food and randomly generated structures.”

“I guess she’s kinda getting it!” Madison said.

Leslie searched all of the village homes.

“They don’t have anything in here,” she complained.

“That’s because you have to open their chests to see what they have. Or trade with them. You get experience if you trade, so I prefer that.”

Leslie opened one of their chests.

“Ohhhhh,” she said, “Look at all of this stuff! They have gemstones! And a sword!”

“I think you found emeralds,” Jeremy corrected.

“Aw, dammit, I’ve been looking for those forever!” Madison blurted out.

“Now you can use those to trade with the villagers,” he continued.

The three continued playing in separate locations within the game. Leslie had gone quiet for quite some time. Eventually, Jeremy began exploring for villages too, only to find all of the buildings destroyed and the villagers missing in the first one he found.

“What in the world happened here? Did you figure out how to start a raid or something, Leslie?”

“Hmm? What’s that?”

“It’s when a bunch of pillagers come and attack the villagers. You need a special effect to do that, though.”

“No, I didn’t see any of that happen. I just killed them all and took their things myself,” Leslie said calmly.

“What?” Jeremy said.

“Dude....” Madison mumbled.

“What? Was I not supposed to do that?”

“I mean, no, you can, just, you didn’t want to trade with them?”

“That’s cold-blooded, Les. Didn’t think you had it in you.”

“Well, you see, if I trade, then I have to give something up,” she explained, “But if I just murder them all, then I get to keep their things and my things. They’re not real and don’t have feelings, so it doesn’t matter.”

“Oh my god,” Jeremy said.

“Jeremy, hide IO,” Madison urged.

“Oh, I won’t hurt IO! I would feel bad if I did it in real life. Plus, IO is cute and has feelings. Right?”

“Wait, does IO have feelings, Jeremy?” Madison asked, “How self-aware is IO? Should we be worried about IO? Will it start a robot-rebellion?”

“I think we’re wavering from the relevant subject at hand, here which is that Leslie apparently has no conscience in video games.”

“They’re not real!!!” she defended.

“Hey, are you kids playing that Mindcraft game?” Leopold asked as he stumbled upon their game-circle.

“Minecraft, Leo,” Madison enunciated.

“Don’t expect to find any villagers,” Jeremy warned.

“Hehehe...” Leslie giggled and rubbed her hands together.

“This is the scariest I’ve ever seen you,” Jeremy said.

“I’ll get my laptop, I want to play, too!” Leopold beamed.

The four played until they noticed most of the other employees had left for the day around 18:00. Jeremy, Madison and Leslie packed up their things and left after waiting fifteen minutes for Leopold to finish his business with the game. He never actually finished; they just got tired of waiting and left.

[April 23rd, 2018, 9:02]

Jeremy, Madison and Leslie waltzed through the front doors to the lab the following morning to see the floors and walls glowing with the projection of Leopold’s computer screen before they flipped on the lights. He was hunched over the meeting table with empty bags of Doritos and Mountain Dew littering the floor around him.

“So anyway, that’s how I accidentally kicked Jeremy’s tooth out, when we were kids– oh, whoa dude!” Madison jumped at the lab.

Leslie turned on the lights, and Leopold flinched at the brightness.

“Ah! Leslie, turn it off!” he urged, “The reflection makes it hard to see the screen!”

She did as he said and they cautiously walked over to him.

“How–how’s it going, Leopold,” Jeremy said reluctantly.

“How does he look like he’s do–” Madison said.

“Shhhh!” Leslie said.

“Oh, pretty great,” Leo said, “Let me get out of this ravine, I’ll show you what I built.”

“O-okay, sure,” Jeremy complied, “Looks like you... had some snacks recently.”

“Yeah, this young man on the YouTube called it ‘gamer fuel’. Said that it was a necessity for becoming a professional gamer. A, uh... what-what was it called. An MG?”

“You mean MLG?” Jeremy corrected.

“Ah, yes! Thank you, boy!”

“What’s an MLG?” Leslie asked.

“Uh, don’t worry about it.” Jeremy deflected.

Madison snickered but abruptly stopped when Leopold finally reached the structure he had built. It was the most enormous building she’d ever seen; it had incredible detail to every inch. It was a plain-as-day medieval tower covered in vines and it sat next to a spooky-looking lake.

“Do you like it?” Leo asked, “I built it myself without any of those cheating codes. I call it Gray Loch Lookout because it’s a lookout tower over the lake.”

“Leopold, did you stay here all night?” Jeremy asked.

“What? No, of course not, it’s only been an hour since you left,” he chuckled, waving away his question.

“No, sweetie, it’s been fifteen and a half hours since we left,” Leslie said.

Leopold chuckled, “What are you– o–o–ohhhh. Oh, ohhhh, wh–uh... so it has. Um... huh.”

He stared past the three of them with a far-off look in his eye. Madison shut his laptop, ridding the room of all light. Leopold yawned and immediately passed out over the table.

“Yeah, that sounds about right,” Jeremy said.

“Um, is he okay–” Leslie said.

“He’ll be fine,” Jeremy and Madison cut her off.

“We should take him home,” Jeremy suggested, “Madison, you want to help me get him out to his car? I’ll drive him home in it, and you can follow behind me in ours?”

“Sure. Getting this big lug into bed is gonna be a two-person job.”

“Great, thanks. You get his feet. I’ll get his arms.”

They quickly lifted him out of his chair, and began dragging him towards the exit of the lab. Jeremy firmly held Leopold by the shoulders and torso, but Madison dropped his legs, which started dragging on the floor.

“I said get his legs!”

“I’m trying!!” Madison barked.

“Uh, guys, do you need... help? With... the body??” Leslie called insecurely.

Madison lifted his legs once again and they were halfway out the door.

“Nah, all good, we’ve done this before,” she said with a cheesy wink.

“Wha–hey–don’t tell her that!” Jeremy hissed as he turned the corner.

Leslie’s frowned with widened eyes and a stiff stance.

“Bring his laptop!” Jeremy echoed back to Leslie from down the hall.

She shook herself out of her daze and clumsily gathered Leopold’s things.

“O-okay, coming!”

#lab talk #jeremy #leslie #madison #leopold #ah minecraft #what a game #step 1 punch some trees #step ??? drag your boss's unconscious body out the door

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