#tiddytaco

[moveslikekeithrichards]

they need to start making every class ever 10 kids tops🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 expensive as fuck to make goodie bags with anything but crappy dollar tree party favors

#tiddytaco

[moveslikekeithrichards]

predictions for junie b’s tooth:

-“the tooth fairy is gonna pick it up and put some dollarbucks on it. In Cash”

-“maybe she’ll get 3 pieces of cash of 100 dollars”

#tiddytaco #the kids

[moveslikekeithrichards]

i love antique stores you go to check out & theyre like “where the hell did you get this”

#tiddytaco

[moveslikekeithrichards]

recipes will be like "prep time: 3 minutes" & the ingredience list is like "2 sweet potatoes peeled & diced" girlie they do not come like that

#tiddytaco

[moveslikekeithrichards]

gertrude

[ID: a picture of an old, grumpy-looking brown tabby cat gazing dead-eyed into the camera.]

#tiddytaco #pets #cats #SHES SO UNPHOTOGENIC god bles .

[moveslikekeithrichards]

#tiddytaco #speaking as a nj resident. i think i would be fine #80% of my listening is frankie valli anyway. & i have bruce & whitney on my side

[moveslikekeithrichards]

when i say “that reminds me” & theres zero connection you just have to take my word for it theres no time to explain

#tiddytaco

[moveslikekeithrichards]

having tortured ocs is so funny bc some of em im projecting personal issues onto & some of em im just like Fuck You. Random Chimp Event

#tiddytaco

[moveslikekeithrichards]

if im in the group chat going “this shit is sooo bad” you know im enjoying the movie & if im in the group chat going “idk its made well it definitely has some interesting elements its probably excellent if youre the target audience maybe if i watched it again id feel differently” you know im having the worst fucking time

#tiddytaco

[moveslikekeithrichards]

having a bathroom spider is so beautiful. like yes this is my friend Advil Two hes grown to the size of a crumb and he caught an ant today

#tiddytaco

[moveslikekeithrichards]

i love having friends with favorite colors & shit so i can just send them random crap like yess this is pink ill show it to the pink friend this has a fish ill show it to the fish friend. fish is a color btw

#tiddytaco

[moveslikekeithrichards]

[ID: a very simply drawn three panel comic. the first panel shows a person approaching a cat that's laying on the floor and reaching down to hug her, saying "gertie." the second panel shows two coins falling from the person's shirt pocket. the third panel shows the coins bouncing off the cat, who doesn't care.]

#tiddytaco #doodle #scheißdoodle

[moveslikekeithrichards]

in library. talkin about thanksgiving. librarian is asking the kids what they eat, trying to lead them towards thanksgiving food & its like pulling teeth. asking what they pour on mashed potatoes. one kid says Rocks. librarian is like “im thinking of something that starts with GR and its brown” and another kid raises her hand & im like ok this girls on top of everything shes got this. & she goes “gorilla sauce”

#tiddytaco #the kids

[moveslikekeithrichards]

phucking hate when you pick up a 3 hole punch & it cums everywhere. fuck off with your circles

#tiddytaco

[moveslikekeithrichards]

my mom doesnt like the word Piss bc its crass but the fact of the matter is that when our cat shoots a perfectly horizontal beam of urine hard as fuck straight over the top of the litter box she does not Pee. she Pisses

#tiddytaco

[moveslikekeithrichards]

overheard a kid angrily go “dont say that about girls” & a second kid defensively say “i was talking about taco bell”

#tiddytaco #the kids