#i just was rereading their fic and remembered saying Moon doesnt know what a hyena is

[ghouljams]

This is the stupidest thing I've ever written. There's no ship, it's just Moon being a dumbass with Nikto from @thedovesaredying 's cowboy fic. I can't do him justice but I can annoy him.

You decide whether this makes him Canon in the Cowboy town.

The run down pickup that creeps up the driveway sets Nikto's teeth on edge. Nothing good comes with rust on its wheel wells. Nikto clicks his tongue and Sputnik hops to attention, following after him as he stands and settles a hand on the gun at his hip. His fingers tighten on the grip, as the truck comes to a stop. Sputnik let's out a nervous laugh, taking a step closer to the vehicle before Nikto can give a stop command. The engine shuts off and he watches as the driver pulls themselves out of the driver's window, settling on the door like a seat.

"Hey," the nun, he thinks that's a nun, yells, "is your dog friendly?"

Nikto looks down at the hyena at his side, then at the nun. "No." He calls back, because she isn't a dog and she definitely isn’t friendly. The nun nods and slides back into the truck, before opening the cab door properly and hopping to the ground. Shes got army boots on, Nikto's fingers tighten on his handgun and he whistles for Sputnik to guard.

He has to nudge the hyena for her attention, the animal creeping forward to sniff at the air. The nun crouches and makes smooching noises, tossing bits of, something, towards Sputnik. "Is not friendly," Nikto tells her again. He's starting to question if some secret assassin wouldn't be smarter than this. He takes his hand off his gun to scruff the hyena and prevent it from mauling this idiot.

"That's what the dog treats are for," she tosses another and Sputnik eagerly lunges for it.

"Is not dog," Nikto growls, starting to lose patience. As if to confirm Sputnik let's out a frustrated laugh, turning to try and bite at him so he'll release his iron grip. The nun seems undeterred, standing back to her full --unimpressive-- height with a scowl.

"Look man-" the annoyance in the nun's tone makes him press again.

"Дурак, is not dog."

"Whatever," she waves a hand, "you gotta unload your booze either way. Lemme pet the dog."

Nikto holds the nun's unamused stare for a moment before releasing his hold on Sputnik. He's done enough good deeds for the day, if the hyena rips the nun apart... He warned her. Sputnik is all too happy to follow the trail of treats, sniffing along the dirt for the next morsel as Nikto makes his way around the truck to examine the cases of hand bottled liquor. He tugs a clear bottle free, inspects the crystalline liquid inside, and pops the cap to sniff it. He hears the laughter that should prelude ripping and tearing, and focuses instead on the scent of pure alcohol that fills his nose. It's burns even just smelling it. He takes a swig and has to suppress the cough that rises to meet the sting. Fuck that's good.

He grabs two more bottles and goes to meet the nun's corpse.

She's petting the damn-

"What the fuck are you doing?" He asks the hyena, spits the Russian at it. Sputnik hardly registers his question, busy having her chin scratched while the nun coos at her.

It takes several more minutes to wrangle both the nun and the hyena into getting payment processed. Does she not know that this animal has torn men limb from limb? Apparently not, the way she keeps tossing treats at the thing between every sentence. Explaining that she normally charges more but as a first time customer he can have a discount. Nikto suspects someone else is likely paying through the nose to guarantee this kindness. If he can even call it that. He hasn't been around many nuns, but he would think someone devoted to God would be a bit more... godly.

It's a blessing when the nun finally gets the fuck off his property. The delivery is better than having to go into town but fuck, not by much. Nikto glares down at the hyena sniffling at the ground again, looking for more treats.

"You're not dog," he reminds her, earning a big sad eyed stare from the animal in question. "Idiot," he grumbles, turning to take his bottles into the house. Some guard dog.

#im not even going to tag this #if you see this god bless #i just was rereading their fic and remembered saying Moon doesnt know what a hyena is #like she does know what they are #but youre telling me you would recognize a hyena? #if you saw someone letting it walk around like a pet??? #they look like weird dogs