#i know i know dont trust what you are feeling after 9 pm bla bla

[ganondoodle]

i kept trying to draw anything, literally anything but i feel like the little package of skill i have build myself just fell and scattered across the floor, anytime i try to grab ahold of a piece of it it slips through my fingers like wet soap

on days like these i wish i had been smart enough to be anything else but a mediocre artist, but im not, im not even smart enough to be decent at the only thing i call myself to be able to do, im never going to be able to draw like i want to and i struggle to make peace with it

#ganondoodles talks #i hate hate hate feeling like this #this ... utterly helpless worthlessness #the world is shit and turnign shittier by the second and i cant even find refuge in the one thing i can do #i know i know dont trust what you are feeling after 9 pm bla bla #i have had ups an downs but this far i havent fallen in a long time #i am nothing without art #and i cant even do that #however much it doesnt matter anyway #i feel like i am mentally starving #i know this feeling will pass #but i still feel it right now #i feel like im being ungrateful towards the many people that have answered my previous post too bc i couldnt even do a single silly little- #-thing #i cant even put into words what it feels like #overstimulated brain explode egotistical feeling of worthlessness in a world that doesnt care about human life or creativity #meaningless #im going to bed and will be embarrassed about this when i wake up #but it still feels so very real right now #wasting time and tears