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#i never wanted to be reclusive. driven by fits of madness. but i dont have another way known to me
angelhound
·
1 year
Text
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#have been writing lately instead of painting and idk…. how i feel about that
#never have i considered myself a writer
#i mean i write bad romantic poetry sure. but im writing fiction. novels if u will. and i Like it. :/
#its uncomfortable. idk. maybe if i make companion paintings itll feel less obscure. perhaps a web comic will come out of it
#ive never been into structured writing ever ever. but it felt… salty. like sweat drying on your skin. gratifying. to finish a whole piece.
#it was a fit of mania perhaps. and i have more still bubbling there is much to create. i just have never created in this format before
#hate it almost. digging my heels but its pointless to resist where the water knows to go you know? i cannot feel this way about painting
#if that is not what is meant to be made at this time. the wild horse of inspiration will not bend to my comfort
#yes i know i am an artist in the worst way. yes im aware of how i sound. i am not proud but i suppose i cannot either be ashamed
#if i cannot be another way
#idk i always wanted to be an airhead lol. before anyways. my grandfather does not understand his gift is as enviable as my own
#hes not an airhead you could not imagine so after listening to him. but he is enigmatic in that way.
#socialized better maybe. the gift of living as you imagine because you are not imagining at all
#i never wanted to be reclusive. driven by fits of madness. but i dont have another way known to me
#the life i imagine is lived by those who are not imagining it
#but idk i think less nowadays. it helps to figure myself an unsocialized dog. something to be solved by careful hands
#ugh. god with how i talk sometimes i wonder how it surprises me to become a pos writer. who else talks like that
#anyways im incredibly ill still lol going to again attempt to shower the virus out of me
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