#i saw my gram today and she asked me why id lost so much weight :^(

[domesticangel]

genuinely cannot tell what is wrong with my stomach bc the doctors are like m’am your blood is so clean we could drink it and the pictures we took of your insides deserve to be hung up in the louvre , HOWEVER your mental state is that of a horse that lives beside a firework factory and whose blood has been replaced entirely by stackers dissolved in pure caffeine so you either have ibs or  more cortisol in your stomach than you do any other bodily fluid combined . maybe just stop drinking milk and also good luck

#this is not a dig at the doctors ive seen they've genuinely been very attentive and have run lots of tests #BUT ALL THE TESTS COME BACK INFURIATINGLY NORMAL? #so this is more a dig at. i guess the absurdity of the vast and many ways mental problems can affect you physically #bc at this point thats the only remaining factor. #like on one hand I'm like yes i very much believe in the studies done on the very real physical toll of mental illness on the body #but when it comes to ME SPECIFICALLY I'm like #haha i mean ive only been on the verge of breakdown for the past 10 months theres no way something so minor would have an effect :3 #i saw my gram today and she asked me why id lost so much weight :^( #UUURRGH I JUST!!!! HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO EAT??? #not bc of pain not bc of vomiting not bc of anything i just? #i worry myself sick and then i come to associate food w worrying so then i don't eat and??? #:^( #txt #ask 2 tag i reckon ik i talk about some weird stuff here i just gotta. vent