#i think ppl also overestimate how well they wud respond if they were in a situation where they had to publicly apologize for smth

[hevendor]

i feel like ppl on the internet overanalyze what makes a good apology now .. i remember wen i first started seeing ppl talk abt the difference between "good" and "bad" apologies like 10 or so years ago n the focus was more like "are they trying to shift blame off of themselves or are they actually accepting responsibility"

so an example as a shit apology is like "im sorry you felt offended i didnt expect anyone to react that way to what i did" n its cuz its basically blaming ppl for being offended

and then other apologies that r often considered bad r ones that seem almost like a vague generic template like "i did wrong so i will do better now pls forgive me" n it doesnt show the person even acknowledges what they even did wrong they just want to skip to being forgiven w/e any effort

and criticisms of those types i accept fully but i feel like ppl r starting to get more and more specific w how apologies need to b as if the apology needs to b absolutely flawless to mean anything n i think thats so bogus ... usually wen someone is apologizing for smth and they actually mean it and care a lot then they r also gonna b v emotional n its weird to expect someone who is spiraling to produce the most perfect well thought out and eloquent apology humanly possible .. like that is a legit skill to be able to write well thought out statements and its not a skill that spontaneously develops based on how genuinely sorry someone is lol ..

of course there are also lots of important nuance in any given situation such as what it is that is being apologized for and who the person is n all this other stuff so of course an apology can still b bad even if it isnt trying to blame other ppl/feels like a template but i still think there r way too many situations in which there are overly high expectations of what an apology should include

i feel like after taking a step back from internet culture i gained more of an understanding that people r just people and are always liable to make many mistakes and to b unable to handle everything perfectly especially wen emotions r high so i feel more forgiveness esp for ppl whos "crime" wasnt anything that extreme or was maybe understandable given the situation they were placed in and the feelings they were likely feeling .. no one acts rationally 100% of the time and mistakes r how ppl learn.. again there is nuance to everything tho

#i think ppl also overestimate how well they wud respond if they were in a situation where they had to publicly apologize for smth #its much easier to criticize wen u r not directly involved and therefore not feeling crazy amounts of stress and negative emotions #also i wanna say this isnt even about a particular thing and its not in defense of any particular person LOL #i dont have any stake in any current drama rn #i dont even kno of any current drama now that i think abt it lmao ... #its just one of those things im thinkin abt too hard again cuz it captivated my interest while ive been procrastinating on homework #and since i have no one to directly ramble on abt nothing i just post it here instead :) #but this is what i mean wen i said my friends dont reply to my shit and i cant even blame them btw #imagine getting this whole post in a dm ... im so annoying LMFAO #also any1 who reads this dont bother taking it seriously #tumblr is my diary #long post