#i was very... anxious academically inclined and artistic (the three big As of my hs experience) but i was so obsessed with perfection

[mainfaggot]

i often get nostalgic for something i never had the chance to experience but only watched from afar, when i see teenage boys on public transport with dyed buzz cuts and skateboards

#i never really did anything in hs but study cry drink coffee and draw and cry some more and then draw some more #i was very... anxious academically inclined and artistic (the three big As of my hs experience) but i was so obsessed with perfection #that i only had fun like 30% of the time #i had a few close friends but i was so afraid of social situations and i avoided bigger gatherings and club activities that actually couldv #benefited me #i never dared to try things outside my comfort zone #i wanted to learn how to skateboard and i wanted to go places alone but i was always too scared #i do the second thing nowadays bc i have no friends at my university... #thats good i guess but im still really on edge while im out alone sometimes idk #i guess the point is i wish i had more fun when i was younger #im only 20 now so i guess it's still high time #but I've felt so horribly alone since i was 17 #z.post