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#i will not apologize for writing this because its a lot of self projection klsdfj
siren1song · 4 years
Text
Razzle Dazzle ‘Em
Summary: Virge really, really, loved its boyfriend.
Warnings: None that I can think of.
Pairing: Anxceit, implied future Anaroceit
Word Count: 876
General Taglist: @acanvasofabillionsuns, @emo-disaster, @greenninjagal-blog, @jungle321jungle, @sleepy-sides, @gattonero17, @another-sandersidesblog, @strawberryjellystuff, @remusownsmyuwus, @logic-with-a-pinch-of-deceit, @gr3ml1n-loser, @main-chive, @firey-alex, @orca-iguana, @spooky-scary-virgil, @yalltookmyurlideas, @sanderssidesweirdo, @stormypaint, @just-a-little-bit-gay-oops, @dying-is-a-hobby, @rose-gold-roman, @themultishipperchild
Notes: Thomas sang as Janus on the charity live stream and I had to write this. That combined with the fatphobia i got two days ago and the hate for my it/its pronouns and how little I’ve written anxceit lately? This was bound to happen.
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”How can they hear the truth above the roar?”
Gray really loved its boyfriend. How can it not, when it caught him doing shit like this while he baked in the kitchen?
”Throw ‘em a fake and a finagle-”
With a muffled snicker, Vi leaned against the doorway to the kitchen so it could watch Janus while he sang.
Honestly, you’d think Janus would be more on guard with the way he refused to sing whenever someone (primarily Patton) asked. But now here he was, hat on the dining table and using a bowl that was definitely not clean in place of it.
It was going to have to talk him into a shower while the cookies were baking, wasn’t it? God, its boyfriend was a dork.
“You’re getting batter in your hair,” it said, barking out a laugh when Janus startled and dropped the bowl onto his head, whipping around to look at Virge without taking it off first.
“Gray! I’ve told you before not to sneak up on me!” Janus hissed, lifting the bowl to look at it with a glare he clearly didn’t really mean, judging by the smile he was trying to fight back.
“Jay! You also are a pain in the ass to get singing and I like hearing your voice!” Gray responded, laughter in its voice as it moved away from the door frame so it could press a kiss to Janus’ cheek.
“Shut up,” Janus muttered, flustered by Gray’s compliment and now red faced.
Vi just grinned at him, pecked his nose, then snatched the bowl from his hands so it could put it in the sink.
“I will do no such thing. Me? Be quiet? Do you even really know me?”
Janus huffed, crossing his arms and pouting at Gray’s back.
“You live to tease me. Can I not just enjoy my music?”
Vi paused in putting more dirty dishes in the sink to look at Janus with a raised eyebrow, not saying anything to emphasize the lack of music playing.
Its boyfriend’s blush increased twofold, and Vi let out a snort before turning back to cleaning up what Janus didn’t need anymore.
“You can always razzle dazzle me, Jay,” it teased, turning the water on to rinse off its hands.
It was not expecting Janus to snake his arms around its waist and rest his chin on its shoulder. Even less expecting the gentle squeeze of its belly fat.
“Oh you want me to dazzle you?” he purred into its ear.
“Oh-kay, back up, I am not allo enough for this today,” it said, face red as Janus easily backed away from it with a soft huff of laughter.
“Ace day then, I understand. I’ll at least get to spoil you with the cookies then. I made them double chocolate for you.”
Virge turned off the water and shook out its hands before turning to narrow its eyes at Janus, wiping its hands on its pants.
“You want something,” it said, knowing exactly how its boyfriend worked.
Janus let out a gasp that was so painfully fake Virge was narrowing its eyes at him even further.
“Whatever could I have done to make you believe that? I can’t believe this, my boyfriend, my life partner would think so lowly of me!”
“Okay stop yaking with your bullshit offense, what do you want?” it asked, crossing its arms over its chest.
Huffing, Janus leaned against one of the counters, undoubtedly getting flour all over his ass.
“I was wondering if… you’d be willing to go to the pool party Roman invited me to tomorrow.”
Gray furrowed its brows in confusion, trying to think of who Roman was before realization dawned.
“Isn’t Roman the coworker you’ve been crushing on and trying to see if fae were polyam?” It asked, getting its answer when Janus flushed again and looked away.
“Yes?”
“Why do you want your boyfriend to join you? I thought that was Roman asking you on a date?”
Janus sighed, running his fingers through his hair and wincing at the batter that stuck to his fingers.
“Because I’m not entirely comfortable with my body just yet and having you, big and beautiful and confident in yourself, there with me might help me be more confident with all of my stretch marks and freckles,” he explained, dropping his hand to the counter next to him.
Gray hummed, understanding the dilemma. It used to need Remus with it whenever it wasn’t feeling particularly confident because they radiated confidence at all times.
“Yeah I can go with you. I wanna show off my big and beautiful anyway, I’ll just make you and everyone else gay in the process.”
Janus looked at it, and it could see how grateful he was.
“Don’t wear the black one piece, you’ll steal Roman from me before I even have a chance.”
It laughed, then gave Janus a sly look.
“I won’t. I bought a new swimsuit with Pat and Remus a few days ago.”
Janus blinked, then groaned.
“God damn it, you’ll razzle dazzle everyone before we even get in the pool.”
Gray laughed again, leaving the kitchen with a half-hearted reminder to take a shower tossed over its shoulder.
It really loved its boyfriend.
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