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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

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Joe & Ronnie

Joe: Hi Joe: There's no gentle way of doing this, so I'll just get to it, I'm sorry if you don't want to talk about it but you're free to ignore this if that's the case Joe: but I've been looking for my half-sister, and I think its you Ronnie: if youre basing that on a family resemblance youve shot yourself in the face like Ronnie: reload & keep looking Joe: Yeah, I know Joe: but I ain't Joe: Aside from coming at you with what's on any facebook profile anyway Joe: do you know your biological mum's name or? Ronnie: whos used facebook in a decade thats your 1st fuck up Ronnie: 2nd to reckoning my dna is any of your business Joe: who's putting their date of birth and hometown anywhere else? Joe: you were born in [hospital] right? Ronnie: phone numbers on toilet walls getting played out Ronnie: yeah & Joe: then it is you Joe: everything adds up, you have the right birthday, right place, right last name, and first, still Ronnie: right colour Ronnie: miss me with your schoolboy maths Joe: its your bio dad that's black Ronnie: fuck you i know that Ronnie: read my file well before you stalked me Joe: so do you know her name or nah Ronnie: it was in there Joe: Tess Vickers Joe: she is your mum Ronnie: i came out of her Ronnie: shes not my fucking mum Ronnie: id know you if she was Joe: 'course Joe: that's what I meant Ronnie: pick your words more careful soft lad Joe: she don't have any more Joe: I ain't had to do this before, like Ronnie: made up for her Ronnie: & you Ronnie: only took her how many years to claim her bastards Joe: I don't know why she didn't, only what she's said Joe: but if you wanted to ask her, I could set that up Ronnie: if it took her a bit to recover from goin black i don't need to ask her about that Ronnie: got my own experiences cheers Joe: is there anything you do Ronnie: if i had any questions id have chucked 'em at her when i aged out Joe: fair enough Joe: you wanna ask me anything then Ronnie: you old enough to be cleaning out your mas skeletons & seein if theyll dance for you Joe: not what I'm doing Joe: but I'm 19 Ronnie: course she never kept herself stitched up for long Ronnie: got a taste for it like Joe: by all accounts she met my dad the same year she had to give you up so Ronnie: bet he was proper comforting Ronnie: fucking hell Joe: Must've been Ronnie: if she kept you longer than the hour yeah Joe: I've got 3 brothers and a sister too Ronnie: when did she meet their dads Joe: we've got the same, like Joe: youngest is nearly 5 Ronnie: shes still alive then Ronnie: impressive Joe: is it? Joe: suppose so Ronnie: he got cash your sperm donor Ronnie: less dangerous game that one Joe: they both do alright now but you'd probably aim higher if that was the game you were playing Ronnie: shifting gear aint no game now or back then Ronnie: but she was small time Ronnie: that hand to mouth shit Joe: yeah, for years Joe: her dad's debts not helping none Ronnie: hes gotta be dead Joe: yeah Joe: year I was born Joe: so new mouth to feed and inheriting the neverending debts of John Joe: must've seemed like a great time to have more 'cos my brother is only a year younger than me 👍 Ronnie: least you aint inherited his name Ronnie: like i said insatiable Joe: thank fuck Ronnie: piss poor addiction but fuck it Ronnie: shes keeping 'em fed & clothed this time 👏 Joe: gutted social don't hand out round of applauses no doubt Joe: know she is for a fact 'cos she ended up working for 'em, and fostering two poor kiddies in need Joe: what do you reckon to her addiction now? Ronnie: sounds about right theyd left her Ronnie: state of the cunts running that show Joe: mhmm Ronnie: white kids are easier to love Ronnie: its on the posters like Joe: in theory Joe: but this way she gets to be obsessed with you from afar Ronnie: pay me enough & ill come press my face longingly against her windows Joe: I'll keep it in mind for her birthday or something Ronnie: fuck all else you wanna rock my world with or what Joe: Hmm Joe: hold up whilst I trawl a lifetime of overshare for any more tidbits Ronnie: she aint rotting by the roadside or ashes i can snort means my hearts already broken Ronnie: take your time Joe: sorry to disappoint Joe: suppose by the time you got to your file, it told you she'd run away from Liverpool, yeah? Ronnie: bullshit are you Ronnie: youre loving having another cunt to share it with Ronnie: whats the matter dont your brothers & sister wanna play Joe: I'm the favourite Joe: favourite that's about Joe: they got the gist but no file for them Ronnie: 💔 Joe: you said Joe: so, what you saying, you care if I tell her I found you or what? Ronnie: if it feels good do it baby Ronnie: why would i care Ronnie: shes not gonna show up Joe: what if she did? Ronnie: no fixed address Joe: I've told you she loves a cause Joe: say you don't wanna see her Ronnie: shooting the messenger aint no kill shot Ronnie: youre not invested in me Joe: I'm not not, clearly Joe: I'm the one looking, ain't I Ronnie: let her look under every rock with you Ronnie: i hope one bashes her skull in Joe: alright Joe: I'll pass it on Ronnie: good boy Ronnie: get that sticker on your reward chart Joe: god I hope so Ronnie: 🙏 Joe: Your profile says you're in London, still true? Ronnie: i don't need you at my door either Joe: 🙄 Ronnie: roll your eyes at me again Joe: 🙄🙄 Ronnie: 🖕🖕 Joe: 😏 Ronnie: what the fuck do you want Joe: I've told you Ronnie: nah Ronnie: spit it out Ronnie: youre circling around it stop being a pussy Joe: how am I? Ronnie: what do you want for fucks sake Joe: meet you Ronnie: its not happening Joe: why not Ronnie: i hate that you exist Ronnie: that she got a 2nd chance & i didnt get 1 Joe: that's fair Joe: you can hate me in person Ronnie: i aint goin to prison for killing you Ronnie: you wish Joe: yeah Joe: oh well Ronnie: take your death wish home Ronnie: or on a different part of the internet Joe: awh, cheers for the sisterly advice Ronnie: shut your mouth Ronnie: i ain't your sister Joe: kk Ronnie: dumping all your bullshit on me dont make us related Joe: we are Joe: you not wanting it don't fight biology Ronnie: her not wanting me cancels it all out Joe: not to me Ronnie: i give a shit how you feel Ronnie: youre a stranger with fuck all i want Joe: you ain't checked what I've got Ronnie: until facebook adds income i dont care Joe: 💔 Ronnie: you must look like your da Ronnie: dont be Joe: well you look like her Joe: not that I've seen yours Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: i dont Joe: yeah you do Joe: [sends pics] Ronnie: shut up Joe: alright Joe: catch you around then Ronnie: get it through your head Ronnie: you wont Joe: what you scared for Ronnie: youre having fun trying to mess me up Ronnie: that aint how i get mine Joe: I'm seriously not Joe: I've got the message though, alright Ronnie: youre seriously throwing all this shit at me like im gonna smile as i eat it Ronnie: what the fuck Joe: I don't expect fuck all Joe: I just wanna know you but if you don't then that's alright Joe: I won't message again Ronnie: bullshit Ronnie: you aint asked about me Ronnie: you wanna bitch about 'em Joe: that's why I wanna meet you Joe: I've thrown enough questions at you for one convo Ronnie: nah you wanna meet me to see if i proper look like her Joe: I've got eyes Ronnie: if thats what you reckon you see they dont fucking work Ronnie: get down the social & claim Joe: you're fine, its not dead ringer levels Ronnie: im fucking fine cause theres none of her in me Joe: I'm glad for you Ronnie: were not family save your lies Ronnie: i dont need any blows softened Joe: its only me bitching Ronnie: yeah Ronnie: & you can save your tears Ronnie: you already cant see fuck all like Joe: what do you want? Ronnie: too late to give a fuck Ronnie: youve shit over me with this Joe: I'm sorry Ronnie: nah Ronnie: sorry for yourself aint the same Joe: Why would I be sorry for me? Joe: I got everything Ronnie: not how youre framing it Joe: why would you believe me Ronnie: not hard to believe mummy dearest loves me best Ronnie: not like she dumped me fast as she could & legged it Joe: she weren't allowed to keep you, she was 14 with a junkie non-dad to look after you both Ronnie: & what she didnt get any older or get her shit together Ronnie: fuck that Joe: did you want her to come 'round and pick you up 4 years later? Ronnie: she had you cunts instead Joe: so she comes and gets you and the social come with and see the fake bailiffs and the bashed in door and we all go back with you Joe: I see the appeal Ronnie: you reckon i had it better Ronnie: thats what this nancy drew bullshit is about Joe: nice one, genius Joe: in what world is that adding up Ronnie: yours Ronnie: in what world would i have not gone with any cunt to get me out of that place then Joe: I'm telling you why she didn't get you, not telling you why you wouldn't wanna be there Ronnie: youre giving me both Ronnie: cant help yourself Joe: they're the same reason Joe: if she tried to get you, they'd say nah 'cos her life was a mess, simple as Ronnie: & yet here you are Ronnie: not a care kid a single day in your fucking life Ronnie: so like i said she got her shit together in the end Joe: she was 18 when I came around and we got taught how to say the right thing to socials and how to shut our mouths the rest Joe: but that's just what she told me Joe: she probably didn't want you, looking back Ronnie: why would she Ronnie: had a new set up with a cunt that stayed Ronnie: cuter kids Joe: 'cos she loved your da the way only a 14 year old girl can Joe: pro and a con in your favour Joe: does she want the reminders or does she not Ronnie: not Ronnie: youre the only pussy walking memory lane Ronnie: aint her looking Joe: yeah, s'me, so why you chatting at me like I'm the one that fucked you off Joe: not productive Ronnie: cause you are Joe: I've gone to leave loads now Joe: you've clearly got shit to say Joe: so just say it at me, I've already offered that n'all Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: i didnt ask for this Ronnie: she was in the ground for all i knew Joe: she still can be Joe: I ain't telling Ronnie: nah you opened your gob & let all that shite out Ronnie: i couldve been about to slit my throat or pull a shift Joe: you could've easily found out she weren't dead yourself too Ronnie: what should it tell you that i didnt Joe: ignorance ain't such bliss I've tipped you over the edge Ronnie: you dont know shit Ronnie: how does yours feel Joe: how do you think Ronnie: i think you should ask if people have got time & space to spin out before you fuck with their heads Ronnie: i think you should go suck a dick mckenna Joe: why should I? Joe: no one asked me and I owe you shit Ronnie: she owes me Ronnie: youre nothing Ronnie: you dont see me knocking cause im not looking for answers & theres fuck all else to collect by the sounds of it Joe: then fucking collect Ronnie: talk to your ma like that Joe: hit me up when you stop being scared Ronnie: keep it up and ill smash in your face Joe: how Joe: you don't wanna meet Ronnie: dont flatter yourself nancy drew Ronnie: i can still kick your door in Ronnie: be like the baliffs are back Ronnie: you can revisit your childhood Joe: now who wants to go for a jaunt down memory lane Ronnie: you wish Joe: 🙏 Ronnie: i reckon your imaginary friends gotta be sick of your bullshit by now Joe: no doubt, nancy drew Ronnie: we cant both be nancy Joe: alright you be sid then Ronnie: still not gonna kill you baby Ronnie: but youre getting warmer Joe: I know, stalked you, remember Ronnie: get a hobby or habit mckenna Ronnie: your little misery boners aint cute Joe: oh I got plenty of thoses Joe: your concern is, kinda Ronnie: youve thrown me into the big sister deep end Ronnie: sounds like how you want it Joe: very obliging Ronnie: unloved kids get it where they can Ronnie: thats on the back of the poster Joe: trust, I know Ronnie: 💔 Joe: not me Joe: never mind, not my sob story to hit you with Ronnie: you only wanna share yours Joe: maybe when we get cosy I'll divulge all the family secrets, sis Ronnie: maybe if you chat shit like that to me again ill choke on my puke Joe: n'awh Ronnie: kill yourself Joe: sure thing Ronnie: very obliging Joe: it was already in the diary tbh Joe: but I'll pop you in the note if that makes you feel 💘 Ronnie: show me yours & ill show you mine Joe: deal Ronnie: 💘 Ronnie: [skippity skip] Ronnie: pick me up Joe: where from Ronnie: [location that's sketchy as all hell] Joe: alright Joe: that should take me 'bout half an hour this time of day Ronnie: im not goin anywhere mckenna Joe: you alright Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: got it Joe: 🚖 📵 Ronnie: important for you to know your place Joe: must be popular with the cabbies 👑 Ronnie: yeah im on a ban Ronnie: look out for my picture hanging Joe: what did you do Joe: vom and not pay the fine one too many times? Ronnie: we taking another trip down memory lane Ronnie: i aint 12 Joe: go on then, what was it Ronnie: the cunt crashed its fuck all to get excited about Joe: did you get hurt? Ronnie: didnt feel it Joe: what about the driver Ronnie: i reckon he felt it Joe: fucked you're stuck with the tube then Joe: 💔 Ronnie: cheers motherfucker Ronnie: cant you drive Joe: 'course I can Joe: where'd your license go, got a story for that and all or? Ronnie: car theft would be a dead good sibling bonding activity Ronnie: but i dont need your help to break a window Joe: another time Ronnie: nah Ronnie: next time some other cunt will pick me up Joe: good thing I didn't specify Joe: tah for keeping me well in the loop of your schedule though Ronnie: other shit in the diary besides blowing my brains out Ronnie: can move it up if you aint gonna shut up Joe: 🤐 Joe: you can keep all your dates Ronnie: made up i am Joe: no need to say thanks, I feel it Ronnie: you wanted to meet up Ronnie: wish granted Joe: I know Joe: reckon blue would suit Ronnie: what Joe: genie Joe: you owe me 2 more, yeah? Ronnie: rubbing me up the wrong way dont count Joe: damn Ronnie: i can do black & blue Joe: changed your mind then Joe: my 🍀 day Ronnie: you got the accent Ronnie: my head cant do subtitles Joe: not really Joe: not proper Joe: some of my younger ones do but they can barely remember Liverpool Ronnie: nothing to be 💔 about Ronnie: its a shithole Joe: least its a shithole with some history Joe: we moved to a newbuild shithole so Joe: win some lose some Ronnie: your boner for history aint that big Joe: you checked what I'm studying? 😏 Ronnie: you dont post about fuck all else Joe: I'm barely outta freshers let me have it Ronnie: dont give me the flu Joe: thought that was just a euphemism Joe: either way, on my life Ronnie: fuck knows Joe: not as much fun as people chat, shockingly Ronnie: what is Ronnie: the shit that feels good is the shit youre meant to keep your mouth shut about Joe: hear hear Ronnie: 💘 Joe: 💘 Joe: you live there or am I picking you up from a mates Ronnie: neither Joe: alright Ronnie: drop me on the other side Joe: no problem Ronnie: then you can go back to wanking over symphonies Joe: you wanna help me with my homework Joe: so nice Ronnie: what are big sisters for Joe: yeah Ronnie: shits fucked up Joe: right Joe: but you can be more specific Ronnie: nah i cant Joe: don't know where to start? Ronnie: it starts with being born Joe: okay, so the starts the easy bit Joe: the middle Joe: we don't have time Ronnie: we aint gonna trauma bond mckenna youve been beaten to it Joe: ah you got a troubled boyfriend Joe: that's cool Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: you heard me say i aint 12 Joe: you know what I mean Ronnie: not very nancy drew if you reckon im that bitch Joe: we can't both be sid Ronnie: touche baby Joe: 💘 Ronnie: im gonna carve up this cunt if you dont pull me out Ronnie: & thatll make him feel too special Joe: who? Joe: I'm nearly there Ronnie: my not boyfriend Ronnie: dont waste romance like that on strangers Joe: sensible Joe: just carve anything but 💘 and he shouldn't get too clingy Ronnie: whats the symphony that gets you off fastest Ronnie: ill do that Joe: Khachaturian's Sabre Dance works as a play on words and should get him to crescendo 👌 Ronnie: hot Joe: orchestra nerds get all the bitches Ronnie: yeah Joe: you aren't a catfish, are you Joe: I mean, I'll recognize you Ronnie: look for your mas face Joe: fuck it, therapy overdue anyway Ronnie: fuck you for saying that Ronnie: making it go round my head Joe: I shouldn't have said that Ronnie: i should stab you Ronnie: all these pieces of mirror Ronnie: fuck him Joe: you can, long as you keep it shallow, or don't mind swinging by the hospital Ronnie: i dont get my kicks at a&e Joe: you'll have to play nice then Ronnie: youll get too clingy Joe: avoid the 💘 Ronnie: some other bitch can have the honours Joe: or has Joe: don't I seem 💔 Ronnie: dont need to hear how you lost your virginity mckenna Joe: noted Joe: save that trip down memory lane for private time Joe: me and mozart Ronnie: explains a shit ton if the conductor is molesting you Ronnie: but not gonna be the sister who tells him where to put that stick he waves about Joe: Mozart was pretty fucked up but I don't reckon it went that far Ronnie: i dont know him 💔 Ronnie: there was a Moz here earlier fuck knows if theyre any relation Joe: You're more a Liszt type, called it Ronnie: what the fuck kind of fuck you is that Joe: 😂 Joe: actually he's considered the world's first rock star, I was being nice Ronnie: shut up Joe: what, you ain't seen the ken russell film with daltrey in? Joe: have a word Ronnie: get a life Joe: tomorrow Joe: maybe Ronnie: i cant fucking believe it had to be you Ronnie: thank fuck i already aint showing my face here again Joe: thought you said you weren't 12 Joe: but I don't need to come in if you don't wanna be embarrassed in front of your mates Ronnie: i said my mates aint here Joe: no need to tell me why you're there Ronnie: where the fuck are you Joe: just got out, 5 minutes Ronnie: i need to get out Ronnie: move it like Joe: alright Joe: come find me then, make it go faster Ronnie: fucks sake Joe: what's wrong Ronnie: if my body would do what it was told i wouldnt need you Ronnie: cant even paint you a fucking picture Joe: right Ronnie: theres a shit load of stairs yeah Ronnie: i cant do 'em Joe: if you're fat I swear to god Ronnie: calm your tits nancy drew Ronnie: you know thats bullshit Joe: I'll trust you ain't catfishing then Ronnie: thats my next tat Ronnie: all for you baby Joe: sweet Ronnie: hurry up Joe: I am Joe: [show up boy] Ronnie: [when you're just there like damsel in distress which ain't you so it makes it more awks] Joe: [what a first meeting just having to carry her away from god knows where like] Ronnie: [just like we don't know each other but just carry me to your vehicle thanks] Joe: [just doing it silently like this is normal] Ronnie: [since I cant find a pic she should go get that tattoo now just casually drag him along] Joe: [once you get the use of your limbs back lol] Ronnie: [lbr its blatantly someone sketchy she knows the state of them all] Joe: [god bless] Ronnie: [when I know its gotta go on her face somewhere cos #triggered by looking like Tess and I'm just screaming like NOOO] Joe: [my boo is horrified and Joe too] Ronnie: [soz you're so cute bitch and you wanna look so ugly] Joe: [lowkey dread to think how annoying the heal time is on a face tat] Ronnie: [blasting that orchestra bop he mentioned earlier as loud as poss cos yeah you searched for it and yeah you don't wanna hear your thoughts or have a convo] Joe: [when you don't run like you should 'cos you too are a crazy person] Ronnie: [match made in heaven lol] Joe: [🔥😈] Ronnie: [does he have any tattoos I have forgotten] Joe: [Oh, I don't think so??? but he probably would in a self-destructive manner too, as long as they could be hidden like his self-harm like go ahead] Ronnie: [just thinking get one now if you want boy #bonding] Joe: [yolo] Ronnie: [ooh what should it be] Joe: [the real question, hmm] Ronnie: [perfect excuse to be staring at each other while that's happening though cos you can't be moving all about] Joe: [but of course] Ronnie: [Joe can move around more cos not on his fucking head but] Joe: [probably get a cherry or something for the lols] Ronnie: [love that for you Joseph]

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kitkatdana · 7 years

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Random questions

1. Do you bite or lick ice cream? Now that I’m thinking about it... i don’t know

2. What is home to you? I don’t really have one.

3. What was the last lie you told? My mom told me to go to bed early because I need to sleep more and I said I would

4. Does everyone deserve the truth? Yes - I don’t know why I can’t deliver it though.

5. What is the creepiest toy ever made? idk?

6. Describe a moment in which you did something unacceptable in a bad situation. Uhhhhhh

7. List two things that are more easily done than said. (No, I didn't mix them up.) I... don’t know.

8. When was the last time you worked really hard to achieve something? I worked really really really hard to be a drum major. Not many people really get what it takes to earn the position and to maintain it.

9. How many all nighters have you pulled? Maybe 1-2. I normally make myself go to bed by 3.

10. If humans didn't evolve to laugh or smile, how would we express our happiness instead? a good-old-fashioned thumbs up

11. How many romantic "things" or "flings" have you had? shhhhhhhhh

12. What is your paradise? honestly? being in the car alone. it’s the only space i have to myself, which is why i really really really hate how close i live to everything (which yes, is a very annoying thing for me to hate. i’m sorry).

13. What is your favorite background noise? (Ex. Water dripping, people talking.) soft rain

14. How many hearts do you think you have broken? 0 i’m too ugly for that shit

15. What is the most important thing about electronics? What does this say about you? They keep us connected and keep us curious and informed about the world around us. This just says that I’ve heard way too many engineers talk about why they chose their field.

16. Why do people care about celebrities? Do you care about celebrities? Because they see themselves in them maybe? I don’t really (that’s not to say I haven’t before)

17. What is the most annoying thing someone can do to you? Act like nothing happened when they did/do something that I literally can’t stop thinking about for days (hahahahahahaha in this case months)

18. Do you overexaggerate? What are the pros and cons of this? Yes. pros: i... don’t know. cons: i lie i guess in a way

19. Have you played any instruments before? Which instruments? I’ve played the clarinet for 6 years whoop-whoop

20. Do you like taking selfies? Why or why not? no i’m fucking ugly

21. List 3 things you like about yourself? literally nothing. i guess i’m an okay writer when i actually try but i don’t like sharing my personal writing with other people.

22. What is the best advice someone has ever given you? to push myself do things that i didn’t think i could or had the guts to.

23. Do you have what it takes to raise a child? Why or why not? no... probably not. i’m way too easily distracted and easily get emotionally worn out

24. How do you cheer yourself up after a bad day? i don’t. i just disassociate

25. When was the last time you felt awkward? today when came home and had to tell my parents that i lost my wallet that had my id, car insurance card, and debit card in it :)))

26. Are you introverted or extroverted? Or a mixture of both? introverted

27. What constitutes a good friend? they listen and know when to give you space

28. Would you rather have a lot of friends to hang out with or just one best friend? one i guess idk

29. In a regular day, what do you not want to hear? people fucking chewing that shit’s nasty

30. What is your dream job? an astronomer or an astronaut.

31. Is it better to be lazy but smart or hardworking but unintelligent? hardworking but unintelligent

32. What is a truth about yourself that others find hard to believe? some people don’t believe me when i tell them that i’m a dumbass

33. What have you always wondered about the other gender? idk

34. Which fantasy world would you like to visit the most? idk

35. Describe the worst friend you have ever befriended. this one girl... oh my god. she was very lowkey mentally abusive and didn’t like when i would hang out with other people and would even talk bad about me because of that?

36. Imagine that you have switched bodies with someone you don't know. You can't switch back. What do you do? send them an apology letter for getting put into such a disgusting person’s body

37. If you found the recipe for immortality, would you sell it or would you burn it? burn it. can’t let that shit get in the wrong hands

38. What is the most important, applicable class you have ever taken? psychology in 9th grade was pretty cool. so was current events.

39. Name the last book you read. the great gatsby for the millionth time jesus

40. Imagine that you are unable to express emotion. How would this affect your world? just me personally? not much.

41. When was the last time you made the first move? literally never oops

42. What is your opinion on electronic music such as dubstep or trap? thanks i’m good

43. What was the last movie you watched? i haven’t sat down and watched a movie since i saw star wars in theaters in december

44. Do you like and appreciate your life? i appreciate aspects of it at times but i know that i personally have no purpose or significance.

45. Do you like and appreciate yourself? nope

46. When was the last time you cried? less than an hour ago

47. What are you scared of? heights; any fucking bug; snakes; rejection; debt; disappointing others

48. What is the most embarrassing, cringe-worthy thing you have ever done? live

49. What are some of your hobbies? playing the clarinet; crying; writing; photography

50. What is a superficial yet annoying mistake you constantly make? idk what that means. i guess i’m really bad at remembering names? does that count?

51. Are you a good friend? What makes you a good friend? If not, what makes you a bad friend? i am a really bad friend bc i’m never there for people when they need me and always take shit too personally and let it effect my relationships

52. Do you honestly learn from your mistakes? yes

53. What have you learned the hard way? that not everything will just come to you - some things, you have to go out and get. don’t miss an opportunity to do something with someone you love. always say goodbye to those you love. never take someone’s appreciation of you for granted.

54. What is the most important thing to have in order to attain happiness? support

55. Which medium do you use for expressing your artistic emotions? (Singing, writing, etc.) writing and tbh this sounds so nerdy but playing my instrument i am able to add emotion to music to make it beautiful when i really want to try

56. Are you a creative or a logical thinker? logical

57. What is the smartest thing you have ever done? idk i guess my psat scores were ok

58. What is your ideal meal? a sandwich & some lemonade

59. What is the worst thing someone could do on a date? insult you

60. Do you like animals? Which kind is your favorite? i like most animals. dogs.

61. If you could turn one legal thing illegal, what would it be? open-carry

62. Do you have any guilty pleasures? idk. eating chocolate?

63. What is the best thing that the internet has ever created? the ability to share your writing and art

64. Do you like playing video games? Which video games? i guess every once in a while with my dad and brother i’ll play mario kart or something simple like that.

65. What is your opinion on beauty in today's society?

66. Are you a morning person? When do you usually wake up? sure - 7-7:30 (more around 9 over the summer)

67. Do you have a favorite Disney movie? Character? uh CARS!????

68. Would you rather live in the city or in the countryside? countryside - i prefer silence

69. Would you rather live near the ocean or in the mountains? mountains

70. What are the best things about winter? i can excuse staying in bed all day because it’s cold

71. What scares you most about the future? isolation and failure

72. What makes you feel old? watching movies from my childhood

73. How many hours do you spend on the computer or phone on average? idk i don’t keep track

74. What are some of your New Year's resolutions? to get over this feeling that’s been dragging me down for years

75. What is your life story in 6 words? the fuck i don’t know bitch

76. Describe yourself in one word. worthless

77. What bad habits do you do? i don’t eat for long periods of time and then eat really shitty food once i finally do; i sleep for only 3-6 hours a night; i take online quizzes and tags rather than writing history essays that are due the next day

78. What genre of music do you listen to? anything but country and metal

79. Most prominent childhood memory? my first dog dying

80. Imagine if you had an older brother. If you already have one, what is it like? If you don't, how would this change your life? idk he’d probably be mean and annoying and hate myself even more

81. Spirit animal? idk

82. Do you believe in horoscopes? not really but they’re fun

83. What is the worst advice you've ever been given? to smile

84. List the 3 most important people in your life right now. my dad, my friends, my crush, idk, there’s more than 3 i guess

85. Favorite memory of your family. we were in nyc on christmas eve at rockefeller center, about to go to dinner, and it started snowing. it was the most fucking magical and beautiful thing i’ve ever experienced, to be quite honest. idk why. but. it makes me nostalgic.

86. What do you look for in a relationship? mutual respect and love

87. Do you have a role model? Why or why not? yeah a few

88. What is your opinion on social media? i mean i use it a lot so i guess i like it.

i89. Are you a pessimist or an optimist? i’m pessimistic about most things but optimistic about dumb things

90. List some things that you think are overpriced? college; fresh food

91. What is your worst memory or creepiest experience? too many to count

92. What superpower would ruin the world? is immorality one

93. What is something you swore you would never do when you grew up, but you did anyway? procrastinate

94. What lessons have you learned from movies and which movies were they? about time taught me that love - whether it’s platonic or romantic - is important to express, and that you will regret not doing so as you grow older. it also taught me to not take life for granted (but it obviously hasn’t stuck) and that there is beauty in everyday things.

95. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? antartica

96. How do you approach people? awkwardly

97. What is your opinion on first impressions? they’re important but you can recover if you try hard enough

98. What are some things you did as a child that you no longer do? idk

99. What languages can you speak? english

100. What do you think society will be like in 30 years? fucked up

101. What do you do on your lazy days? sleep and watch star wars

102. What ended your last relationship? shhhhhhh

103. Favorite food? don’t really have one

104. What is the most terrifying dream you've ever had? well i had a series of dreams for a few months where i would come out to my crush and they would literally run away or ignore me or tell me i was wrong

105. When was the last time you got seriously angry? today at myself for losing my wallet

106. What was the last friendship you broke? i can’t remember i’m really bad at keeping friends i’m a jerk

107. Do you have any pet peeves? loud chewing; talking loud right into my ear; idk; lots

108. Who was the last person you gave a hug to? my dad

109. When was the last time you got seriously stressed? right now

110. What part of your personality do you want to change? all of it

111. Who is the most positively influential person in your life right now? one of my pals

112. What is your biggest motivation? death

113. What did you want to be when you were little? astronaut

114. What are some things that you are good at? nothing

115. What is one thing you want to be good at? writing & doodling

116. What distracts you the most, especially when you're trying to work? social media and text messages

117. How important is privacy to you? very

118. If you could create one social norm, what would it be? idk this is a weird question

119. What's the craziest lie you've ever told? i can’t remember

120. What story do you like to tell about yourself at parties? i don’t go to parties i hate social shit

121. What is the lamest thing that you have seen someone do? some of these questions are really weird.

122. What is the stupidest thing you've done to impress someone? lots of things

123. What is your morning routine? wake up, eat breakfast, brush teeth, change, make lunch, leave

124. What's the last thing you did that is worth remembering? idk

125. If karma was coming back to you, would it help or hurt you? hurt very badly

126. What is your opinion on playing "hard to get?" it’s really fucking annoying

127. What are the pros and cons of straightforward? pros: u get ur point across. cons: u may not get the outcome u’d like.

128. What do you consider "leading" someone on? do NOT get me started on this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

129. Are you the friendzoner or the friendzoned? hahahahahaha the friendzoned

130. What do you admire most about your friends? their beauty and intelligence

131. What do you admire most about your family? their lack of anxiety

132. What is your opinion on "going with the flow?" i wish i could say i was able to do that but nah

133. Do you enjoy talking or listening? both

134. When is it time to end a friendship? when it becomes emotionally draining, or you aren’t gaining any benefit from the conversations you have with them

135. What is the worst excuse you've ever come up with? idk

136. If GPA didn't matter, what courses would you have taken? yearbook x3809423

137. What are your favorite baby names? idk??

138. When was the last time you had a deep conversation with someone? this morning

139. What instantly ruins a conversation? memes

140. Biggest turn ons and turn on offs. idk i like it when people are kind and smile and make eye contact for a lil too long and don’t mind being close. i hate when people are rude and talk over someone else

141. Biggest disappointment. myself

142. Do you have any self-restraint? nah

143. When did you last do something outside of your comfort zone? idk

144. Prized possession(s)? letters from a pal and my haim/borns t-shirts

145. What is your opinion on second chances? i’m not sure

146. Text or call? i like calling some people - hearing their voice makes me feel warm or safe. other people i prefer texting because it gives me less anxiety and i can think about what i want to type out.

147. What do you like about the 21st century? that’s a weird question idk

148. What advice would you give to yourself 5 years ago? get some sleep, child

149. How organized are you? most of the time i’m organized but lately i’ve been a complete disaster

150. Favorite mode of transportation. my car

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ourlittledinosaur · 7 years

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Getting Pregnant: It's Not Like What You See on TV

New Post has been published on http://ourlittledinosaur.com/getting-pregnant-its-not-like-what-you-see-on-tv/

Getting Pregnant: It's Not Like What You See on TV

Why can’t I get pregnant?

Like so many others, my husband and I felt the sting of trying and seemingly failing to conceive a child.

About three years into our marriage, we decided we were ready to start a family. Naturally, we believed pure willpower and the act of not preventing was enough to accomplish this. So that very month, when it didn’t happen, we were terribly disappointed.

I took it much harder than my husband did. Let me rephrase. I took it personally. After months of my period rearing its ugly head while bearing the news that I was not pregnant. I was certain I was barren. I admit that, somehow, rational or not, I felt like less of a woman for not “accomplishing the task” of pregnancy.

Movies and television make getting pregnant seem like a commonplace accident or at times even vindictive trick. And while unplanned pregnancies certainly occur, it’s not as “easy” as it is often portrayed.

If you’re feeling down because you’re not pregnant yet, take heart. I’m a firm believer that God’s timing is perfect timing. My husband and I tried for three years before getting pregnant with our son. (Naturally, I might add.)

People told us “Once you stop trying, you’ll get pregnant.” To this day, I still don’t know how to mentally or emotionally stop trying. I was not good at following this advice as that’s all I could think about. However, after three years, my husband and I figured it probably wasn’t going to happen. Maybe that wasn’t God’s plan for us. We decided to buy a couch set. I was pregnant within the month.

The timing of my pregnancy was definitely God’s timing. I had to come to the point where when i prayed, I said, “God, my husband is enough…for the rest of my life, he is enough.”

What I have realized after I got pregnant is we seemed to appreciate and enjoy the pregnancy journey so much more than we would have if we had conceived earlier in our marriage. It was something we had just expected, rather than a gift we had asked God for and been blessed with. It became a time in our lives that we truly cherished.

Despite the morning sickness, the aches and pains, the hormonal out-of-body experiences (seriously, there’s nothing like those hormones), and the difficult task of natural labor, I truly enjoyed my pregnancy. I honestly have never felt more beautiful than when I was pregnant. I felt like a woman. All the months I had not conceived left me feeling wanting. I had felt inadequate as a woman. I now felt purposeful in body.

When it came to my husband, I cherished him rather than curse him for his contribution, and I thanked God for this wonderful gift of life growing inside me. It was a beautiful journey that was the segue into the wonderful (and scary!) current adventure that is motherhood.

To any readers who may be feeling the struggle of trying to conceive. Take heart. Lift your struggle up in prayer. It’s good prayer warrior training for all the praying you’ll do once you are pregnant, and your need will increase exponentially again once your child is born. Remember, it is God that opens the womb.

See: 1 Samuel, Chapter 1 for the story of Hannah, who prayed for her child, Samuel.

“It came about in due time, after Hannah had conceived, that she gave birth to a son; and she named him Samuel, saying, “Because I have asked him of the Lord.” 1 Samuel 1:20 NASB