#i’m so nervous i’m so nervousshshdbfjejduhfnfj

[plethodontidae]

#rant tw #HHHHHHHHHH #so. college move in day right. this sunday at 5:30 pm #then college soccer preseason next week #Then in two weeks actual college classes start #i’m so nervous i’m so nervousshshdbfjejduhfnfj #im so excited to be in college and on my own and be independent but i’m so scared of it at the same time i don’t know what’s wrong with me #like i am literally terrified of doing something wrong when im on my own like if i make one mistake financially it’s all gonna go down hill #and i want to make a separate savings account just to save some money from each paycheck from a future job but my parents won’t let me #they think it should still be connected to the whole family for now #but how am i supposed to do things on my own when you can still wire money to my account . i just #idk so much of my anxiety is centered around the future and what im gonna do and how im gonna make money it’s so exhausting #because i don’t wanna stay here i wanna go somewhere else in my state but its much more expensive up there and like #i don’t wanna stay at home for an extra year and work bc i just don’t wanna keep living with my parents #like i WANT to be independent and i WANT to live on my own but i’m literally so terrified of it at the same time #i keep hearings stories about family members who are very much grown yet still financially depend on their parents n i Don’t Want To Be That #i wanna be financially independent and able to support myself but getting a job??? getting a job that pays enough to pay rent AND have money #for basic human needs like foot water clothing etc #we live in a Societyyyy and i hate it so much i hate that i worry about this when i graduated high school just 3 months ago #i just want to bury myself under a million blankets and never deal with responsibility ever again