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#i’ve only killed him like. 5 times out of 163 shifts.
wickedghxst · 2 years
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just found out there’s a black suit for salmon run. i want it but no way in hell am i ever going to kill cohuzuna enough times to get it.
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renaroo · 7 years
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The Search (5/16)
Disclaimer: Red vs Blue and related characters are the property of Rooster Teeth. Warnings: Language, Canon-typical violence, Psychological manipulation and trauma Rating: T Synopsis: [Canon Divergence - Alternate S15] The Reds and Blues saved Chorus, but it has been a year and they are still missing. A motley crew has been gathered with the common goal of finding the war heroes, though the road is more troubled than anyone seems to realize.
A/N: YAY. I updated on Thursday again which is like, maybe the first time this week I released something on the right day lol. I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty proud of that record. But there’s some more development and some more surprises this chapter, so I hope you guys are prepared ; ) 
Special thanks to @secretlystephaniebrown, @blaireaters, @analiarvb, @cobaltqueen, @notatroll7, Yin, and JP for the comments and feedback!
Resident Troublemakers
“You want us to waltz onto an entire planet-wide prison in the hopes of finding someone who you think is dead?” Dylan attempted to clarify.
The group was gathered in the cockpit of the ship, circled around Doctor Grey whose blistering enthusiasm was something the reporter had only recently come to be wary of like a double edged sword. Especially when, like just that moment, Grey shifted her entire focus on her. The glint in those eyes were certainly something to be wary of, though Andrews as a seasoned reporter kept staring straight back into them.
If they didn’t solve the Reds and Blues mystery sooner rather than later, one of them was likely to crack.
Andrews was determined to not be the one to bring that prophecy to fruition.
“That was a rather condescending spin on my words, Miss Andrews,” Doctor Grey replied flatly.
“It’s a statement of fact,” Dylan replied. “This… President, on Chorus, who you’ve apparently given a direct communication line to from our illegally traveling vessel, is directing us toward a prison planet. And on that planet, according to records from an AI you downloaded at an aggressive force’s base while they tried to kill us, is a former lieutenant who you all believed was dead for years but is somehow listed in the files of Charon Industries.”
“I don’t seem to detect a question among that rabble, Miss Andrews,” Doctor Grey said, hands on her hips.
“Okay, enough with biting each other’s heads off,” Agent Washington interrupted, holding up hands as if to keep both women back away from each other. “Miss Andrews, we understand the risk of having an open communication channel with this much distance between ourselves and Chorus, but we trust President Kimball. She’s one of us. And with Santa running the program from their end, I have confidence in its safety.”
Dylan looked at them all, completely bewildered. “Santa?”
“It’s an amazingly simple but unnecessary story,” Agent Carolina assured her. “But he’s an AI.”
“He,” Dylan repeated with a hum of thought. “But as an AI shouldn’t it… be an it.”
“How rude,” the FILSS AI spoke from the ship’s speakers.
“Yes, almost as rude as questioning the only one who has been pulling their weight on this trip thus far,” Doctor Grey said, cocking her head to the side as she stared holes into Andrews.
“Emily, she has a right to second guess us,” Agent Carolina reminded her. “She doesn’t have the history or experiences with each other that we have.”
“Thank you,” Dylan replied.
“But we don’t have the time to second guess everything. Especially since FILSS has already directed us to the coordinates of the prison where we can find Lieutenant Husk,” Carolina continued.
“Uh, and because someone’s driving us with those coordinates, hello!” Kaikaina Grif snapped from the pilot’s seat. “Sheesh. What’s a girl have to do to get a little recognition every now and then? Take out my tits?”
“No,” Washington snapped while the alien progeny in his seat still began chortling and honking in laughter at the proposal.
“Well, maybe we should make some time,” Dylan interrupted, undeterred. “Because while I may not have the history of the rest of this team, I certainly have the information of what has been going on in the rest of the UNSC ran territories outside of your single colony planet that, until recently, has had no access to the rest of the Earth-bound settlements.”
Carolina leaned in closer, arms crossed. “Alright. As in…?”
“As in the fact that the prison planet you’re taking us to also should be abandoned at this point, though the record has been muddled since the story got buried during the reveal of the Chorusian situation and all of the scandal that ensued from your broadcast,” Dylan explained calmly.
“Should… why isn’t it certain?” Washington asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Because the final transport ship meant to bring all of those remaining convicts to a more permanent habitual situation was never given a final destination. Instead, it was kept in standby, going from one end of the galaxy to the other, keeping the criminals within from contact with any outside legal counsel,” she continued. “It was a huge UNSC scandal, considering the unalienable right to legal representation… until the USS Tartarus conveniently disappeared from radar.”
Immediately, Carolina, Grey, and Washington looked at each other.
“Wasn’t that…” Carolina began.
“It was,” Grey said confidently.
Washington ran a hand through his hair and groaned. “Our lives are a goddamn circle.”
“Or, a Venn diagram, because I’ve been listening this whole time and still don’t know what the eff is going on!” Kaikaina snapped from the front.
“We know about the Tartarus,” Carolina informed both Dylan and Kaikaina. “It was redirected toward Chorus, and many of its crew were utilized by Malcolm Hargrove to fight the armies of Chorus when they were united under Generals Kimball and Doyle.”
Dylan nearly choked on her own breath. “How… What? If that’s… If that’s true, do you realize what kind of story that is? That the Chairman of the Oversight Subcommittee to the UNSC, already dripping in scandal, was involved with the unlawful detention of over one hundred people and then employed them as his own mercenary force? Don’t you have any idea what that means?”
“I know it meant a lot of additional pain and suffering of my people, Miss Andrews,” Doctor Grey said coldly.
“Hey,” Kai shouted out, gripping everyone’s attention. “Aren’t we supposed to be coming up on a, like, ghost planet? Like no one around?”
“If we’ve got all our facts straight, yes,” Carolina answered, turning to face the front of the ship.
“Yeah, okay, well, that shit’s weird then,” Kaikaina informed them.
“What shit, Li’l Grif?” Carolina asked, leaning over her shoulder.
“We are receiving a beacon of approval to land even though I had not requested permission yet,” FILSS answered. “The approval seems to be signed by a Lieutenant Husk.”
“My stars and garters,” Doctor Grey gasped. “Kimball’s information was right — Husk didn’t die in his attempt to get off planet during the height of the war!”
“Or,” Washington interjected, “this is an obvious trap.”
“‘Kay. I see both your sides,” Grif answered, still focusing on the planet ahead. “But what’s that mean for us? Like, Boss Lady, what’s your call?”
All eyes fell onto Carolina as she stood up and looked at the planet squarely.
“Accept the approval and land. We’ve come this far on the information we have,” she answered. “And even if it’s not Lieutenant Husk, then we can still beat the answers out of someone.”
“Whoo! Violence! Can’t say no to that answer! Or they get smacked. That’s the reason it’s always the best option,” Kaikaina announced.
Warily, Dylan glanced between them all. “Of course…” she said lowly, though it did still grab all their attention, “even if this is your Chorus lieutenant… there are questions that you will need to have answered before we can take his word on anything.”
“Of course,” Carolina conceded. “We’ll be on the defensive either way.”
“Now landing on Gliese 163 c of the UNSC mining federation’s industrial detention compound,” FILSS chirped out happily from the speakers.
“We should let me take the head of this, after all Alexander was a lieutenant in the Federal Army of Chorus when he left. He will acknowledge me by my armor and it will be quicker for us to go through the motions and get answers,” Doctor Grey said.
“I don’t know if that’s the best idea,” Dylan argued, earning an immediate look of ire from the doctor. “Look, we still don’t know that it’s really him. And if it isn’t, then this entire plan is hinging on the relative drop of your guard as the one who would take the most meaning from this person’s presence.”
“I am more than capable of maintaining my sense of self-preservation, Miss Andrews,” Grey snapped. “You may receive fame from recounting the tales of the battlefield, but on Chorus I am known from surviving them, and making sure the population that exists currently also survived it.”
“It was not meant in disrespect,” Dylan bit back, though she knew saying as much through clenched teeth did not exactly help her cause.
“It sounds as if you’re attempting to put yourself at the forefront of this again,” Grey noted. “Which, I should remind us all, did not work out well last time.”
“Grey’s right in that this will be dangerous, Dylan,” Carolina cautioned.
“Despite what apprehensions you all seem to have about reporters, I have scruples and I have lived with more than enough danger,” Dylan answered sternly.
“Yeah, but you don’t have a gun,” Kaikaina suddenly spoke up, twirling a piston on her pointer finger with far too much comfort. “Even I’ve got a gun. Letting you off the ship on a prison planet — ghosts or no ghosts — without a gun would be like letting the alien puppy out. Probably not the best idea.”
“Give me that!” Wash snapped, yanking the gun off Kai’s finger and then handing it back to her with a proper grip. “Giving you a gun is probably not the best idea.”
Dylan was peeved but Kai’s words struck an odd cord with her and suddenly she was looking around the cockpit.
“Um… speaking of which… I don’t… seem to see…” Dylan began to point out.
Everyone else looked around as well before a collective, “JUNIOR!” was screamed in panic.
“Blaaaaaargh.”
It didn’t matter if it was his prep school or if it was Sanghelios or if it was the stupid ship with his father’s eccentric and loud friends — adults were pretty much all the same to Junior. Annoying, slow, and far too reserved.
And slow.
If they were too afraid to venture out into the planet on their own, then it was up to Junior to get the search for his father and the rest of his family underway himself. Just like how the Freelancers still hadn’t left Chorus yet by the time Junior reached there in the stolen Sangheili cruiser.
As much as they may have acted different, it didn’t seem like his father’s other friends were any more prone to actually taking action over just talking than his father and the Reds and Blues had been before them. Everyone in Junior’s life needed a push.
And since Junior wasn’t a great conversationalist himself, he had long decided to be the pusher.
Still, the further he traversed the long, rocky grounds of the prison complex, and the more his every step echoed, the more Junior began to wonder if, just perhaps, his plan for action had been slightly impatient.
Reminding himself that they were supposed to be meeting with a friendly face, Junior sucked in a large gulp of air then cupped his hands around his mouth before letting out a few loud honks.
They echoed against brick and stone walls around him. In the distance, it sounded as though something was crumbling. Like even the abandoned walls of the prison were unsure of what to make of his calls.
Disappointment crossing over him, Junior huffed and lowered his hands before continuing to walk forward.
He might have been young, but Junior had been in enough space ports already in his life that he knew that air control usually had a station near the landing bay. And if they had a clearance granted to them, that meant someone was in the control room there to give it to them.
It was close to a lead as he could have hoped to have.
Looking around, Junior noticed a tower and decided that it — and its tall radio needle atop — were the most likely place to go to for control rooms and any prospected people that might be within it.
He walked forward at a decent pace before hearing another distinct crumbling noise from not that far off.
Surprised, Junior turned to look in its direction.
Once was nothing. Twice was coincidence, albeit heart pounding.
More suspicious than before, Junior began walking again when the third crumbling noise finally pointed him and his fierce, but also fearful, roar in the direction of his follower.
“The alien’s onto us!” someone shouted from the building above.
“Die, Covenant Scum!” someone else screamed.
Junior’s eyes finally found the followers only to see prisoners in orange garb, half covered in swat armor and various other guard gear. Though, most concerning from Junior’s position, was the woman between them whose armor was more military grade — like that of Agent Carolina or Washington — who came up between them and pulled a rocket launcher from over her shoulder.
“Blargh—“ Junior began to curse.
“JUNIOR!”
Agent Washington hit Junior at full force before he could process that it was the Freelancer’s voice screaming at him. They rolled — Wash holding to Junior tight — into the nearest space between the opposing buildings just before a giant explosion ate up the very ground where Junior had previously stood.
“When this is all over, you better believe I’m going to tell your father about this,” Wash snapped, breathing heavily from their near escape.
Honking, Junior worriedly tried to express that they needed to do something but he began hearing gunshots and the thunks of combat.
“Yeah, your Aunt Carolina’s a bit pissed to,” Wash warned.
Moaning, Junior covered his face with his hands.
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