#i'll be honest anon i was starting to feel left out that you hadn't sent me anything like you do to other izzy fans

[something-about-sunflowers]

The thing is, though... Izzy is meant to irredeemable and unlikable. He was written with zero sympathy for him in text, he was written as an asshole who is malicious, disloyal, and cruel. He is ABUSIVE. He is emotionally manipulative, he gaslights, he makes verbal threats and physical assaults. He deliberately and strategically isolates Ed from his crew. He deliberately disobeys a direct order (an act of mutiny) against Ed when he doesn't stand down and duels Stede. He turns around and betrays Ed when he doesn't get what he wants. VIco is an abuse apologist Izzy stan just like you. And they, just like the rest of the cast, know that you disgusting cultists only care about Izzy. You don't give a shit about Ed, or Stede, or anyone else. You literally just flick your clits to Izzy being unpleasant and abusive. He has no redeeming qualities that weren't stolen from other characters or completely made up by fandom. He's not a good person. He's not a nice guy. His motives are selfish and cruel. He's lazy and he's racist. So you can like him. Because you're a piece of shit abuse apologist. And you and all the other Izzy cultists can hold your breath until you turn blue about how he's not the character he is. But he is. Izzy is not secretly the third protagonist. He's not going to turn around and save the day. He doesn't have a decent, self-sacrificing, genuinely good bone in his body. If there is a Jim/Izzy kiss, then you are hoping for the dissolution of Jim/Oluwande (I guess an ample-bodied, dark-skinned black man isn't good enough for you? But then again, all Izzy stans are ultimately shallow and stupid), and you are disgusting. You would rather Jim be with a man who is racist and cruel than a man who adores them. And you know what, you stupid cunt? Even if it does happen, it WOULDN'T automatically mean good things for Izzy. If Jim kisses him to distract him while other people escape, he's still a piece of shit abuser. But he'll be that regardless. Because he abusive. And he is the villain. There is no redeeming him. The show has made that perfectly fucking clear. He betrayed Ed. He threatened to kill Ed if Ed didn't do what he wanted. He is the thing Ed will have to overcome to truly be happy.

And you're disgusting.

Ok, first of all: Big fan! I've heard so much about you Anon! Second: this made me laugh so fucking hard. I needed a good laugh so thanks Anon! ❤

(Read-more for the sake of my followers dashes, I'm writing essays again lmfao.)

So like. You must hate Mary then too, yeah? Since she's meant to be Izzy's parallel? What do you think of David Jenkins telling us that 'Izzy is the one to watch on a re-watch'? Do you think he's worried we missed him being 'irredeemable'? See, cause I took that as 'see that there's nuance to his character and he's got pretty reasonable motivations if you pay attention' but now, well, I'm just not sure, Anon 😰.

Tell me, where is he malicious outside of, like, regular piracy business? When someone else instigates? Yeah, sounds about right, so cruel of him to not worship at a rich man's feet when said rich man acts like he's the scum of the earth before knowing a single thing about him. How malicious of him to not be buddy-buddy with people his boss has taken prisoner, who are actively antagonizing him. How disloyal of him to *checks notes* uh. Hm. Well. There's just- there's nothing here? Oh! Oh do you mean the thing he did to get to Stede? The thing that Calico Jack (hi, I also love him, does that make me extra problématique?) and Spanish Jackie helped him do? The thing he did because he believed it was in Ed's best interest, since he was acting wildly out of character and incredibly irrationally considering their dangerous profession/lifestyle? That must be on a different list, I don't have that listed under 'disloyal', strange.

Izzy can't even manipulate his own emotions lmfao. Gaslighting? Anon, you must be misremembering, gosh you're so silly. Can't keep anything straight in that head of yours can you? He lies sometimes, I'll give you that, at least by omission, but that's not gaslighting. I'm sure you'll not like this but Ed's actions with regards to Izzy are closer to gaslighting than anything Izzy does to Ed. Or the crew, which I'm assuming you're including in this since you mention 'physical assault' and Izzy's never laid a hand on Ed?

The same crew that he, as far as he was aware (because Ed was *gasp* manipulating him by withholding information), was to treat as prisoners who, upon completing their task of 'repair the ship so we can take it from you, since we're pirates' would be given 'the uzsh' treatment of execution? The crew that he doesn't lay a hand on at all afterwards? Ooh, or do you mean when he grabbed Fang's beard? When Fang was openly questioning his captain's orders? Something that, if unchecked, can lead to a mutiny?

Funny thing about 'he disobeys a direct order' is that, well, Ed doesn't give him a direct order? 'We're not doing this' does not equal 'stand down'. He also doesn't try to stop it. Like, at all. He doesn't even tell Stede to stand down. He may not have wanted it to happen but he didn't do anything to actually prevent it when he's literally the only person on the ship with the power to prevent it. 'Izzy I no longer want him dead', all he needed to say since Izzy was operating on 'Izzy I want him dead but I can't do it myself because I'm conflicted about killing and especially killing things I'm attached to'. If Izzy had ignored that, then we could talk about 'disobeying direct orders'.

Also, he's first mate, its his job to push back on questionable orders from the captain. That's not mutiny that's how you prevent a mutiny.

'When he doesn't get what he wants', being. . . What? What he thought Ed wanted because he didn't communicate otherwise? What he thought was in Ed's best interest, because he's acting irrationally and out of character (which is confirmed by Fang and Ivan, by the way)? He's wrong* about what Ed's best interests are but that doesn't change the fact that he was trying to help rather than harm.

*Arguably. Ed indulging Stede was dangerous. Even without the threat of the navy on their backs (Stede's fault), there was no coasting on Blackbeard's reputation on the Revenge. They'd have to deal with every threat instead of just the one's who'd go after Blackbeard anyway.

So, wait, is Vico one of us or nah? Cause, like, I'll gladly join a cult if Vico is there. What do you think about David Jenkins though? Since his favorite character seems to be Izzy as well? Anyway I'll grant that Stede isn't my favorite character but that hardly means I don't give a shit about him. As for Ed. I love him so much, Anon. I love him so much that I don't infantilize him for the sake of demonizing another character so that I can use that to justify sending anon hate to people with differing opinions to me. I love Ed because he's unpleasant and- *ahem* well.

Some nice misogyny there, by the way. Gonna go out on a limb and say a bit transphobic as well, since I know you're presuming we're all women, some of us are men, some of us are neither or both. Has some notes of sexual harassment too. No, I'm not kidding. You're fantasizing about a group of people, sexually, and sending them messages about it. That's like, textbook sexual harassment. Not cool Anon.

Anon. They're pirates. None of them are good people. None of them are nice guys. All of their motivations are selfish and cruel.

Ed 'loves a good maim'. He's Blackbeard. He's not Robin Hood. He doesn't have secret (or explicit) good motivations for piracy and torture and murder. Stede is a deadbeat dad who chose piracy. Which includes stealing from people, even the poor (do we forget the plant so easily?), despite him. Y'know. Being rich? And like, selfish and cruel are Stede and Ed's middle names, Anon. Turtle vs crab? Setting a ship on fire with everyone still inside? Doesn't matter if the fire was the one who killed them if you're the one who set the fire, Anon. Swede losing teeth/fingernails? But I wanna go on a treasure hunt! And let's not even bring up Mary and the kids.

'Lazy and racist', where? I am legitimately asking, Anon, where? Is it where he makes the crew do their actual jobs? That's his job. Oh, how about where, instead of getting captured by the native people for being a colonizer, he does business with them? (You know, the people who explicitly call out Stede and Pete for being racist?) How about working under and with BIPOC? You think Blackbeard would keep him around if he was being racist? You think Jackie would have given him the time of day if he was racist? You don't think Fang and Ivan would have had some comment about it during the mutiny/planning scene?

I'll do you a solid, you don't have to point to any particular scene that doesn't exist. The writers themselves have said that they're not trying to tackle racism in the show the way that having Izzy be anything but 'white person who is, by virtue of being white, some level of racist' would be. If you don't want to call literally every other sympathetic white character on the show racist, you shouldn't be saying it of Izzy either. Izzy isn't the one who owns a fucking plantation.

Anon, I'm so glad you're giving me permission to keep liking Izzy! Thank you so much! I'm so grateful the fandom has you here to delegate what people are allowed to like and do! What would we do without you?

Nobody thinks Izzy is 'secretly the third protagonist'. Not anymore than people think that of Jim or Oluwande or Frenchie, since they all have side-plots going on as well. As for whether or not he's going to turn around and save the day? We'll see. Obviously he's not going to do everything because he's not the protagonist(s), but he has the potential to try and help just as much as everybody else on either crew. You're certainly entitled to your opinion/interpretation of his character but I can just as well say 'I think you're wrong', especially when you come into my house and throw a fit about it.

Did you forget that Jim and Lucius kissed as well? Are you forgetting 'we don't own each other'? Hell, Anon, I specifically said 'I don't ship Jim and Izzy', but well. Something something 'people on this website piss on the poor' etc. (Anon, you can just say 'fat', its not a bad word. I'm fat, Oluwande is fat, I fucking love that he's fat. I'm also not the best suited to speak on BIPOC representation but I'm also super happy that they're not shying away from including dark-skinned actors like Samson and Leslie. But that doesn't fit into your narrative so 🤷‍♂️.) You can call me all the sweet things you like but it doesn't change the fact that the show has, pretty explicitly, said 'yay polyamory' and Jim (and Oluwande) has two hands. Leave alone the fact that Jim can kiss Lucius and just be friends with him, same as they could with Izzy.

Gosh, Anon, you're really hurting my feelings here. You really think I'm a stupid cunt? That hurts. Genuinely, I'm gutted. I don't think I'll ever recover.

Given that you're literally talking hypotheticals, as we all are, since we don't know what is going to happen in season 2, I'm not going to argue if it would 'mean good things for Izzy' if Jim kissed him. Though I will say, if Jim needed him distracted for people to escape (I'm assuming you mean escaping him, rather than Ed who is the proper threat to anyone in need of escaping right now) they could find easier ways to do it than kissing him?

And the sky is green. And cats are witches. And women have crystals in their bodies. I can say stuff too, Anon. I think you fundamentally misunderstand what redemption means, if we're being entirely honest here. Redemption has less to do with your previous actions and more to do with what you choose to do going forward. Clearly we disagree on his capacity for doing better going forward, and that's fine, its alright to be wrong Anon I won't judge you for that, but him having done bad in the past* has no bearing on his redemption if he chooses to do good in the future.

*'Bad' here being used both generously and ungenerously. Generously towards your definition of bad and ungenerously in the face of his rationale. He had perfectly valid reasons for doing the things he did, regardless of whether or not he should have done them.

I love you too Anon! I hope you have a good day at school tomorrow- er. On Monday, sorry, adult schedules don't always follow the 'weekends off' rules that kid's schedules do, I forget sometimes. Bye bye!

#the dork is being a dork #the dork answers #izzy hands #i'll be honest anon i was starting to feel left out that you hadn't sent me anything like you do to other izzy fans #but now i see you were just saving up all that stupid juuuuust for me #i legit needed a good rant tho #so like genuinely thank you for giving me the opportunity #and i did spend like 10 minutes laughing at this for the record #especially at 'vico is an abuse apologist too' lmfao #WILD