#i'm also on my period one more cosmic corkscrew of pain

[charlotterenaissance]

having an almost comically bad couple days so i'm microdosing on all my fixations by alternating episodes of kids in the hall, night court, h2o just add water, and conan o'brien remotes. just having a normal one

#the fun part of being the child of my alcoholic dad and junkie mother is that my form of vice is old tv shows #as i try to zone out while stone-cold sober #i had a bad day at work which was the capstone to a rough couple weeks #which is why haven't really been on here #and i'm pretty sure i can't trust my own vision or whatever because i look at things and get told i'm wrong #and then i found richard moll died so i'm not doing so great #i am so sad #i'm just so so sad and scared #all the time and i hate this so much and i hate being a burden to the person i love #and i just feel so alone and not good at anything and not good enough for anything or anyone i'm just not worth anything #it's my fault for only being able to conceptualize relationships via the familial bond #so i take my boss who is normally sweet and patient with my stupid worthless self #yelling at me as rough as you can possibly imagine #she didn't even yell at me specifically but every time she came by i flinched and any time i said something she got mad and yelled at me #i don't know i'm sorry #i just want to disappear #i'm also on my period one more cosmic corkscrew of pain