#i'm still trying to figure something out but i'm honestly not hopefull at all

[wildermouse]

vent iii.

#yeah i could just make a 'read more' post but tags are better for me #more hiding #anyway #i have this problem where my sister is probably moving out next year but she can't rly do that without me bc her dog has issues #and i would have to take him out and feed all the animals while she's at work during the day bc nobody else can #but even with that being taken into account she would still charge me over double what i'm paying now for rent and i cannot afford that #and she says i'd have to get a job too but excuse me how am i supposed to work when i also have to be home to look after your animals?? #barn job would be nice bc short hours but it also wouldn't be enough to pay what she'd charge me #so i'm screwed there #anyway i WISH i could make enough money to live on my own but i CAN'T #ik i probably sound very lazy and spoiled and i get that i am definitely priviliged to get to live at home for cheap rent #but it also fucks with my mental health so bad living here. and i want to live on my own but it's just not an option rn #i have dreams and they're such basic sad dreams that i still don't think i'll ever accomplish #like i want to live in my own small travel trailer. that's all. my own space. or a tiny falling apart cabin that i can fix up #that's all i want and it seems impossible for me #i'm not built to live in this world. my body and mind cannot take it. i have tried. i've tried so hard #honestly if i had to work full time again i don't think i'd actually be able to stay alive to benefit from it. it would burn me out too bad #there's no win for me #i'm still trying to figure something out but i'm honestly not hopefull at all