#i'm supposed to be colouring in doctors 1-4 but i wrote this instead!!!!

[ssaalexblake]

13 reacts to Yaz openly showing her loyalty and positive emotion by looking straight up Scared and it’s still a question that 13′s shadiness was purposefully written??? Girl knows Exactly what she is and that she’s basically created an elaborate ~chipper~ persona with selective honesty and carefully monitoring how she acts among her friends, and is intelligent enough to know it’s gonna come crashing down around her, probably Soon. 

It’s already getting harder to hide. It slowly got more difficult for her to do so over the course of the season, especially in the NY special. She’s losing ground, step by step. 

And it’s not that i disagree with the assertions that the two moments of yaz showing her affection and 13′s reactions are Thasmin(tm), i just happen to think they’re Angsty rather than anything else. 

I don’t think it was a mistake that the one closest to seeing past the doctor’s new Happy/laughing/kindness visage is Yaz, I think it’s going to be plot relevant that Yaz spent most of season eleven Watching. Ryan and Graham, to some extent, are very much in their own world in S11; they’re travelling with 13 yeah, but they’re also both trying to work through grief by doing so, they’re trying to reconcile their own relationship as family, too. 

To put it simply, they’re not watching and therefore they don’t see, and I don’t think it’s an accident that it was written this way.  

Yaz, however, as has been justifiably pointed out by a lot of people frustrated that she had little to actively do in s11, has spent that time paying a Lot of attention to Thirteen. At some point, nosing into Graham and Ryan’s grief and development would have been outright rude of her, not just awkward. It’s kind of, Pushed her to be more attuned to 13, what else was she going to do, right? 

Add to this that 13 is, for the most part comfortable giving Yaz jobs to do on their travelling that she would never off the cuff leave to the other two. She armed Yaz when they were having the Pting problem and left her guarding the anti-matter drive, to use an example. While Graham and Ryan were off being midwives, Yaz was defending the ship against a hostile alien and using force to do so, and doing it under 13′s orders. She is more comfortable with Yaz doing these things because, i assume, she is a police officer, she’s trained to do so. 

Which isn’t really notable, it’s logical after all, Graham is a retired bus driver and Ryan is training to be a mechanic and works terrible jobs to pay for it, if you were going to pick one of the three to do the more dangerous and potentially violent tasks, you Would pick Yaz, it’s logical. 

None of this on its own is really notable, but Yaz is now in this weird space where she’s not Really noticed that anything is up, but she has all the pieces of information in her head that could lead to an epiphany. She’s spent a few months watching this kind of pantomime performance of thirteen’s sincere attempts to be a better person, to be just a traveler, and she’s been subconsciously picking up bits of information which are outliers to her own supposition that 13′s “the best person i’ve ever met” (ok, she might decide she still is after this inevitably gets worse before it gets better, but she can’t Know if 13 hides herself from her, it’s the submitting to the ordeal of being known kind of thing). 

Because i think we’re almost at the point where, if Yaz were to just see One thing, one openly questionable action from 13, she will begin to consciously connect the dots. Which is why I think the whole ‘Yaz has stars in her eyes for 13′ is actively Angsty rather than cute, i mean it’s kind of cute because it looks like she’s got a crush on the weirdo blonde alien, but i can’t see this ending anywhere but Angst.

The problem with Yaz starting their friendship looking at 13 like that, is Eventually she’s going to stop. And 13 knows this, hence the looks of worry/fear when yaz Does look at her with something bordering on awe and intense loyalty. She’s terrified of the day Yaz knows enough that the looks will stop, imo.  

Which is honestly why i hate this stupidly long hiatus, i genuinely feel from all the signs that s11 was the groundwork to some pretty serious story arcs, but I also don’t think the super long gap was a good tactical decision because if you don’t look at the season as a starting block and look at it as a single entity, it doesn’t have a lot of depth which i feel is actually there. 

#danni watches doctor who #every time i see that gifset of 13 reacting to yaz i go 'ouch' in a not fun way #and ok i don't ship the ship but that's a lot to do #with the fact that yaz doesn't Really know her #and i am less inclined to ship teens w/ anyone much older than them in general #but i do think this is going to be a V important relationship in s12 #so i just wish they'd give it to us!!!! #i'm supposed to be colouring in doctors 1-4 but i wrote this instead!!!! #in my defence i couldn't find any good colour references lol #i think it's the hannibal novel that talks about all the elements for an epiphany are present??? #i read it in Some book and i Loved the idea of seeing it like that #like 'i know you are clueless right now but.... u have all the info to Not be' #except it was more murdery in the book lol