#ich möchte mein Leben verdreifachen / um nachzuholen / die lange lange Zeit / als es dich nicht gab

[secondpersonpoetry]

Franziska Linkerhand, Brigitte Reimann

#do you ever start reading a novel and not even get past the first page before shrieking 'LEON' #incredibly niche content. this is for real just for me #and i understand this HOWEVER it bothered me and rotated in my brain so much i NEEDED to come put this here. stupid!!! hrrrggggghhhrrrh!!!! #and i was just going to put the verdreifachen line and i'm not happy with how it's edited but it's FINE everything's fine it's just. #LEON. #and like granted does this totally hold true no i don't think so it just slots into the terrible terrible universe of quotes i have for him #but i can't articulate it right. also we're throwing this into the Heimat thesis breakdown pile for leon &wherever the brainworms r crawlin #<- that is the one i mean thank you. yelling into the void ash & alice u will never be forgiven for starting this ily #ich möchte mein Leben verdreifachen / um nachzuholen / die lange lange Zeit / als es dich nicht gab #do i put this on the actual hockey blog to have the breakdown there and figure out what i mean? maybe. #but then i KNOW i'd have to translate it so people can read it and already i wouldn't know if i want to say my life in triplicate #or my life thrice over and if it's there was no you or you weren't there. save me translation theory save me (smacks me with a steel chair) #also it is SO raw. #i'm not afraid of the present but the memories i can't fight back against the pictures in ur head i can't see a pain i did not share w/ u.. #and i do think the reason it hits so hard as a c/l to me is maybe the idea of this not as i didn't know you then at all #but that they did grow up together. and it's that he didn't have him in the way he does now he doesn't know him like he does now and now #he has to think about the life he had with connor&he want to do it once / twice over now to know to make up for the time he missed with him #but it also falls into the one in every dream i have of you you are making breakfast that even when i dream i'm dreaming of you inside them #(the life thrice over) #anyway. multitude of others it could be however bc it's auf Deutsch it got assigned leon even if it may not fit as perfectly. OH TIME LOOPS #THE JAMIE/TREVOR DUAL TIME LOOPS FIC OH MY GOD YEAH THAT'S THIS HOW DID IT TAKE ME SO LONG TO GET TO TIME LOOPS WITH LIFE THRICE OVER yesss