#id do read more guys but pc fucks up the formatting

[adamarks]

For the ask game, uh... the entirety of boys will be bugs? 😂

Hello anon!! What a depressing fic to ask for dvd commentary on jgrhrhshshsj

Read the non-annotated version of this fic here on ao3!

It’s two in the morning and I’m crying over a toaster.

This fic was literally just me being fuckin sad. Like it’s just me being an angsty bitch. Comments that I’ve gotten calling it in character baffle me bc I’m like bitch this is very poorly disguised. I wouldn’t call this baby my magnum opus.

Not as in the toaster made me cry. As in I’m crying and watching tear drops hit the toaster as I wait for my bread toast.

Lol mood.

I try not to cry as much anymore.

PSA everyone: crying is a good thing. Dont restrict urselves.

Doesn’t really work. Now I just cry when I’m alone so I don’t have to bug them.

Lol get it? Bug.

I say “them.”

Woof.

Baz has pretty much given up on talking to me anymore. All I get are sad looks that make me feel like garbage.

Such drama.

Are we even still dating? I don’t fucking know. Probably not.

😬😬😬😬😬😬

I choke down a sob.

Someday I’ll write a songfic thats not excruciatingly depressing. Someday.

I mean, it’s my fault, isn’t it? I pushed him away. And I wasn’t good enough.

Jesus Christ what kind of sad shot was I on when I wrote this.

I hug my arms tight. Keep myself together.

I’m falling apart.

Who am I kidding? I’m already in pieces.

Bro wtf. I haven’t read this in forever. Wtf was I up to. Y am I so sad.

The toast pops up and a tear lands on one slice.

Oh god soggy toast. The real horror in this fic.

I take it out and start piling pats of butter onto a piece. I keep piling until I can’t see any bread from under all the butter. I lift my shoulder and wipe a cheek before I smoosh the other piece on top.

Ive done this exact paragraph verbatim. Write what u know.

Butter sandwich.

These are actually delicious. The butter stays half cold. Yum.

Tadah.

Tadah~

I sit on the floor and rub my sleeve across my nose. I take a bite.

When u be having those days bad enough to live in snot sleeves

The bread is warm. The butter is starting to melt. It’s cold in the middle. I’d be in heaven if I weren’t having a mental breakdown.

They’re DELICIOUS. Also this paragraph is the biggest ADHD mood I’ve ever written.

I slowly scoot so I can lie down while I eat. I stare at the ceiling as tears drip into my ears.

That shit is always so annoying. It like tickles.

I feel like shit. I feel like shit. I feel like shit.

I am shit.

Simon ):

I sob and almost choke on a hunk of sandwich. Eating and crying is dangerous.

Facts only

Something flickers in my periphery and I turn my head to look at the little light above the sink. A moth keeps flitting around the bulb.

A FRIEND

My wings are shoved uncomfortably behind my back. Fucking things. I shift them a bit.

Me and my like 2 canon compliant fics. I just love aus so bad.

Guess Mr. Moth up there can’t lie on his back either. Nor was he born with wings.

I hate this line. Don’t ask me why

He probably doesn’t resent his. Made his life easier.

This line annoys me but it’s ok

Well, now he wastes his time trying to jab himself into the light. So maybe it’s not that much easier.

This fic is what happens when you listen to a song about bugs and teenage angst one too many times. I’m not a teenager I don’t have teenage angst anymore. Wtf

My tears have stopped flowing, but my cheeks are still wet. I keep watching the moth.

Hhhh

My throat is sore. My eyes feel tired.

Ya

I name the moth Humphrey.

Wow what a fuckin great name. My and Simon’s brains..... so powerful......

It’s three a.m. when I go back to bed.

I really like my penchant for writing one shots with utterly unsatisfying endings. Life rarely has satisfying wrap ups my dude.

#im allergic to my own sad shit #achoo #my fic #long post #id do read more guys but pc fucks up the formatting