#id rather keep my experiences inside but its festering like gangrene

[brainjuicey]

probably the worst thing is the manifested physical symptom of unwellness due to cyclical negative self talk surrounding being perceived as something cruel and annoying

#i wish i could be out for myself in a way that male salesmen are arrogant and not cautious and broken like shiv roy #i dont want to be loved by everyone but i want to be more easy going #to not be so difficult #im just so different to everyone and i dont need groupies i dont want blind love i want someone to say you are seriously weird n i lov it #i cant bring myself to open up though. and holding people accountable for treating me badly? forget about it. if i say something meaningful #and someone ignores it or scoffs or whatever i immediately want to say who do you think you are but i dont have the energy to keep doing it #i have to do it nonstop my whole life #id rather keep my experiences inside but its festering like gangrene #://// yeu...