#idk how dean doesn’t combust

[thecloserkin]

fic rec: Baby Blue by Edwardina

fandom: Supernatural

pairing: Sam Winchester/Dean Winchester

word count: 12k

Is it explicit: yes

Bottom line: absolute masterclass in how to write the “xyz cursed object made them do it” genre

This is a bunker-era story in which Sam is compelled to suck on a cursed pacifier and in the process of racing to unravel the curse, Feelings are unlocked! Idk how Edwardina takes the most outlandish premises and makes the sex not just hot but tenderhot, but they do and they deserves all the accolades for it. It’s because they unfailingly seize upon the precise detail that shows why this sex scene can only be happening between Sam and Dean, because they’re samanddean not just any two generic hot dudes.

So this pacficier. Sam can’t take it out of his mouth for more than a few seconds at a time. Not to eat, not to drink, not to talk, not to sleep. Dean’s initial big-brother instinct is to rib Sam relentlessly about it the way he would if Sam did anything else mildly embarrassing—and being Dean, he comes up with some real creative ways to make fun of Sam. I was holding my stomach I was laughing so hard. Dean’s second instinct, however, is to take care of Sam—and he does it not so much consciously (the way all the jokes he cracks at Sam’s expense are conscious) as because it’s hardwired into him. Because there is a lot of stuff Sam can’t do in this compromised state. For example: Dean drives him to the park so he can go for a run. Since runners get dehydrated really fast Sam literally needs Dean to hold the pacifier out of his grasp so he can gulp down water. This scene made me u n b e l i e v a b l y delicate, and the reason is that Dean 100% does not realize that he is getting off on being Sam’s caretaker but we the readers 100% do and the tension is enough to make me combust. Same with the scenes of Dean feeding Sam soup or spaghetti-o’s—it’s a deliberate callback to a bygone era when Dean did inhabit that caretaker role, but the reason these scenes hit so hard is because they are grown ass men and Sam no longer needs Dean to take care of him as he once did. Except now, apparently, temporarily, he does. See what I mean about the presence of the pacifier unlocking feelings?

Sorry to be a broken record about this but Edwardina is a fucking genius. This paragraph literally made me stop reading and scream YAHTZEE out loud:

They went to the park, just as Dean had pitched, and Sam started jogging in place the instant he was out of the car. A medical mask hid his pacifier from the prying eyes of other preschoolers and their guardians. Dean kind of got a kick out of knowing it was just underneath the mask, though. It was kind of like when Lisa had worn crotchless panties under her little black dress.

So the thing about sex toys—and the pacifier is not a sex toy but hear me out here—is that it’s not the toy itself that makes the sex hot. It’s the cognizance that your partner is wearing/using the toy for you. Maybe it’s a butt plug or maybe it’s panties (Edwardina has written wincest featuring both), doesn’t matter what it is, the point is that Dean’s the only one in the know, Dean’s the only one who knows about Sam and his perverted relationship to this object.

So Castiel calls Dean out and the penny begins to drop for Dean, that he is enjoying Sam’s reliance on him maybe a little more than is healthy:

"Then I suggest you give working with Sergei on this some serious thought," said Castiel. "Or would you damn your brother? Force him to rely on you for every bite of food? Every sip of water? Would you rather consign him to this life, and yourself along with him? Or would you actually like to help him?"

Later on, in the leadup to the sex scene:

”God. I'm actually gonna miss this," Dean said, and blustered through a contrite laugh. His throat felt thick.

The sucking paused. "Hm?"

Whatever Sam was asking, Dean said, "It's been rough on you, I know. But, uh... we got kind of a good routine going, here. Like old times. You. Me. Cinnamon Toast Crunch for dinner. I Dream of Jeannie on our stolen cable."

This!!! This is why we had all those earlier scenes of Dean feeding Sam grilled cheese and making him drink out of a sippy cup! Consciously he may have chosen the sippy cup to escalate his one-sided prank war on Sam, but subconsciously it was to reinforce his position as Sam’s caretaker. The subtext of Dean’s actions here is very you need something, you get it from ME. Okay back to the sex scene:

"Don't you worry. No matter how this plays out, I'm gonna take care of you," Dean told him. "You're my baby brother. Don't care how old we get. You're my baby. My baby boy. Always gonna be."

and that’s the line of dialogue that induces a tent in Sam’s pants. Cue reciprocal blow jobs because of COURSE this ends in blowjobs, how else could a fic that is so preoccupied with Sam’s oral fixation logically conclude???

I do not think I can overstate the significance of Sam choosing to take the pacifier out of his mouth long enough to blow Dean. It’s the most difficult thing he can possibly do right now, to stop sucking that thing and suck Dean instead, and Sam applies the same grim determination to it as he does everything else he undertakes in his life, and Dean sees and appreciates it so much:

Staring down at him, Dean could see the effort it was taking not to go back to the paci in the pull of Sam's brow. But he was the opposite of offended about that. If anything, that only made it obvious what Sam wanted, because if left to his own devices, Sam wouldn't even eat, wouldn't drink, wouldn't voluntarily do anything that took the pacifier from his mouth.

And this:

Not the most expert head Dean had ever been given. But easily, so fucking easily, it was the best of his entire life, just because Sam was the one giving it. There wasn't even any competition. Dean was close to losing it then and there. He didn't want to. Not yet. But he also couldn't handle what was happening. He was inside Sammy's mouth, and Sam was slurping at his cockhead, lapping at it –

But then it all stopped, and Sam yammered, "Wait, please wait," and stuffed the pacifier back into his mouth with a pained cry. Distress marred his forehead.

Dean's dick was disappointed. But the rest of him ached with tenderness. He could totally ignore the almost painful knife of arousal in his gut if Sam could ignore fucking soul-powered magic in favor of blowing him for even a few seconds.

Wahhhhhh!! This fic made my heart soar so hard. The author says they had the time of their life writing this and if you, reader, don’t have the time of your life reading it then I, your humbler reccer, will personally refund the twenty minutes of your life that it took you to read it.

#wincest #sam x dean #fic rec