#if someone else is on your field tney have to help too and suffer the consequences

[bucksgettinbi]

pls ignore, dream journal

it's 5:15 am, ive not slept outside of the hour or so the dream took. took meds has usual (at 1 am). had a greasy dinner (spätzliuuflauf)

#just had a nightmare i used to fet frequently as a child/teen #i come into what i think is a group home or smth #missing a leg and in pain #i get trapped there #(fuck memory's going) #there's terrifying powers that take over #i use them in secret #my back is in pain #the other kids there try to be supportive but i kill and maim #There's a game where uou go personally how many fields it says on the tin foreward #on each field is a task (ie repeat this evolving pattern or apply pressure to these spots of the map) #if you fail you go spaces back and repeat with that task #if someone else is on your field tney have to help too and suffer the consequences #it's a sysiphusian gsme an endless task it will never end #i think going all the way to the bottom means punishment torture or death #all the while I'm hiding from the others that I'm evil and manipulative #i think my sister once brought in fresh baked goods that were POISON to break me out #lso i tried to investigate the place #and the leader found me out so i had to go before a tribunal or smth #wouldn't let me get dressed #(the clothes there were weird) #then i suddenly had a tampon full of blood so they let me go on my own to clean up\retrieve a new one #which i used yot try and run away #only to find out the whole operation is an alien species attempt to infiltrate human minds #let the 'weak ones' perish #then. with a single mind remaining they'd take possession and make the world anee #aldo some scenes where retrospective others happened right then #only person i remember in there is my sister (baking a cake for the people there yrs after i slaughtered my way out of there #real conspiracy shit/fantasy/adventure #with shame selfloathing regret and realistic physical and mental pain