#if this gets 1 like im happy. Post typers are you out there..... lab ... lab pspsps 🏀<- not an angry emoji its kurokos basketball

[raymend]

yes im making this post again because ive discovered again that 90% of my self doubt is absolutely incongruent to my real actual views on the world. what i mean is that...

for example i dont think anyone should be measured by their productivity or ability to work long hours that's insane. except for when its me? that's stupid!!

i can only pick it apart by being like Okay but this is 1. capitalist and 2. inherently ableist .

That^^ is the one way ive figured out how to continually question and work on internalized shit because it stops being about You as an individual but rather how that mindset can affect people without realising it. and i feel like this is especially important 4 ppl unlearning internalized homophobia n transphobia stuff (AND body image etc) where your internalized (now externalized) issues can absolutely trigger other people..

longer example under the cut i kept going sorry. tw transphobia

i think back to that tumblr funnyman w the crazy transmed rant (cant find it. dont really want to i remember it being pretty upsetting lol) about how he was mad that people want to see trans(masc) characters because he himself hates himself for being trans a lot & wish he was born a cis guy.. because when he was called out for it he said it was just a vent post? and even if the original posts werent full of veryyy misgendering language it would still be a weird post to make to an audience of impressionable trans kids, that being trans is some kind of mistake or problem .. it feels very irresponsible to say that, knowing the self hatred that can come along w the simple act of existing as trans and feeling different to others but then seeing someone u look up to talking about it like that..

i think especially now when state governments are doing so much homophobic and transphobic shit its more important than ever to be there for the younger members of the community and to work on your own internal biases so that you don't transfer them to the next generation. being trans doesn't have to suck that bad: it's not you that's the problem it's our transphobic society n government, and i think that's really necessary to hammer in.

i think trans doomerism is like so intensely vile because of the way that it thrives off of attacking other people (fat, gnc, poc, etc) for making it embarrassing and weird to be trans (Unlike Us Normal People Who Hate Ourselves) when its not their fuckin fault???? Hello i fucking hate optics nerds can you shut the fuck up and have empathy . Who do you think your enemy is . some neopronoun using mfs or the UNITED STATES FEDERAL GOVERNMENT !!!!!!!

and i used being trans as an example because it's the easiest to illustrate but my overarching point here is the fiona and shrek thing . YOUR negative thoughts, seemingly about just yourself, when externalized, OTHERS will extend that logic to themselves even when you don't intend it, and that's something that can be easily contributed to by societal issues & the isolation u can feel by not fitting the cishet white abled mold

#ray.txt #long post #if this gets 1 like im happy. Post typers are you out there..... lab ... lab pspsps 🏀<- not an angry emoji its kurokos basketball #^ Empathy in the general sense before someone comes in like Ummm actually. I mean be fucking nice idiot