#ignore me theres just so much its midnight i am perpetually exhausted snd yet cant sleep

[soldier-poet-king]

SAD!

#the duality of fran #ignore me theres just so much its midnight i am perpetually exhausted snd yet cant sleep #melatonin. melatonin save me. save me melatonin #just hugely sad suddenly #desperately terribly sad and idk why #annoyed af bc politics at family dinner my shitty uncles alabaman wife was like IM VOTING FOR TRUMP #MAAM???? MAAM?????????? #it turned into a Whole thing #and ive stopped drinking most weekends. im trying to be good I know how easy it is to just have a glass or two or three of wine #so i only drink when i want to and am in a good mood #so not. just bc shitty family #BUT YKWIM #and then idk. im just. really sad and despairingly lonely and idk whY #OBJECTIVELY LIFE IS GOOD AND EVERYTHING IS FINE #and YET #idk man. im going to curl up into the tiniest ball possible under all my blankets #and pretend that weight is comforting human contact #my joints will complain but i gotta squish myself #touch starved touch averse meltdown yknow. yknow. one of those #disgusting and pathetic and selfish!!!! to delete later #tmrw i have to be responsible and good again #and i will stop moping stop thinking abt it go back to pretending that there isnt a void in my chest!!! #fine!!! this is fine!!!