#im SUCH a great third wheel guys. why have a relationship when you can insert yourself into everyone else’s. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

anja-mittags · 7 years

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things: mats/boa/benni au where only one of them is a football player. josi/dzseni accidentally married. SUPERNATURAL OLYMPICS.

i love you.

oh gosh, mats/boa/benni; i feel like mats is actually tragically inept at teams and boa is awesome at everything and I can’t imagine schalke without benni ergo, I choose benni to be the footballer.

Mats drifts around for a while, not entirely sure how to channel the dream that didn’t come true. (He’s probably like a thousand times more bitter about Bayern and tries to get away from home like asap) I could see him being a journalist? but that would only happen once he figures out how to stop bullshitting and he probably starts writing as a favor to so-and-so, figures out he’s decent at it and it gives him the freedom to travel. BUT first, he makes connections. Mats makes friends pretty easily, okay, no actually, he makes social connections easily.

skip around Boa is some sort of entrepreneur, getting some start up money from his brothers who are also into a lot of things like music and clothing and modeling?? (boa as a part time model holy shit) Whatever it is, he’s really good at it. In this universe, I think Boa would’ve gone the route of trying to be a cop but eventually decided that wasn’t in his future. Football is more of a recreation hobby.

Point is, Mats and Boa are the one to meet first and omg, they get off on the wrong foot but still bang because they assume they’ll never see each other again. Life is funny and they actually have an overlapping social circle and they see each other at some fashion event in a professional-ish setting. Boa is wayyyy more uptight and Mats thinks it’s funny to be frustrating.

That evolves into a not-exclusive but good understanding relationship and sort of shitty jokes at Mats expense about being a kept man because who actually knows what he does for work???and celebrities/rich people have some shitty sense of humor so.

Let’s say Mats meets Benni through a gig of some sort and he absolutely detests Benni and what he stands for (ie his broken dreams, what he could’ve been.) and Benni does not understand but sure as fuck will push back if pushed.

(Sidenote: I’m not saying Mats could be an very high end escort. but I just imagined it and ?!!! IM MASHING UP ALL THE CLICHES)

Boa and Benni get along in a snap. Hell, Boa actually probably somehow meets him because he’s a fan of his defensive abilities for the NT. And Benni usually doesn’t try anything with fans but just because Boa pays attention to football doesn’t detract from liking him.

At first, Boa thinks Benni just wants him because he can keep a secret and he’s got pretty great pillow talk. (and benni can be little spoon) But it doesn’t stay behind doors really, Benni attempts to change his wardrobe with Boa’s careful suggestions (that, over everything is the thing that makes the media speculate lol) and Benni makes Boa laugh with stupid team stories.

MATS SWOOPS INTO THE SCENE LIKE A DRAMATIC GOOSE.

He says he’s not upset about Boa finding someone especially not that SCHALKER (Mats is a bvb fan in this universe obviously) Hoewedes but omg why him (and actually why not /him/) and Benni gets all weird because where does he stand with Boa, how does this work and really, would it ever work out with them in a serious relationship??

Boa is an earth sign so he’s got to plan. First, he tells Mats to get over himself and his ego because Benni is a good guy and he knows what Mats’ hateboner is all about. Second, he talks to Benni, because he should’ve been more upfront about the Mats situation, but he also wasn’t sure where their relationship was going. (I feel like in this universe, Boa has lots of flings when he actually wants some stability but alas no one in his world is ready for that)

and he also, maybe, accidentally, gets Mats and Benni in a room together and leaves them there until they make up their minds or beat each other up. Boa is practical like that.

(seriously, he probably leaves them in there for half a day because theyre both important to him and they need to sort it all out by making out)

Benni grudgingly breaks first because he would rather be in a room with Boa and Mats than with just Mats. Mats gets hungry so he basically agrees to be more cordial but no less of a nuisance. (He starts covering ground in Boa’s house with Dortmund stuff. Benni rolls his eyes and sends his autographed jersey to his flat. Mats is appalled.)

Boa doesn’t know how Mats coordinates his schedule to interrupt date night but he won’t let Mats stop him from kissing Benni which makes Mats annoyed (hes not going to look into that closely) and gives him ideas.

Benni actually starts to act more offended than he is after a few months because Boa tries his best to share stories about Mats that don’t paint him out to be an asshole and after a while, Benni starts to think Boa is the most stability Mats has in his life and he really, really gets that.

So he’s not against Mats inserting himself on the couch to cuddle up to Boa, even though Benni has to carefully carve out time in his life to see his sort-of boyfriend and not give off a hint of relationship to the media. (and anyway, Benni is the one who stays the night. Mats just tries to prolong his goodnight kiss with Boa in front of him to irk him)

MATS HAS A REALLY BIG CHIP ON HIS SHOULDERS

They live in a weird little bubble of revolving around Boa for a while until Mats gets sicks of being a third wheel (he’s not) and mopes around and gets angry at himself because he doesn’t know how to channel his feelings properly. He doesn’t even hate Benni anymore. It’s more the situation he’s angry at and the suspicion that Benni could never commit to Boa realistically bc he’s a footballer.

Boa sensing that Mats is going to do something stupid, talks to Benni, asks him if he thinks it’s possibly to be in a relationship with two people (HC: Benni has been in a polyam relationship before but it ended) and if he would be okay with that because he does care for Mats, beyond what their fling was. Benni tells him Mats should move in with Boa just so he doesn’t try anything stupid again.

BENNI WINS THE WORLD CUP

Boa and Mats make a schedule to plan the trip out to see him even though they can’t stay the whole time and Benni makes the decision to be happy with them and stop trying to fool anybody into thinking he’s single.

#lahmly #asks #i was going to combine supernatural olympics with accidental marriage and say josi as part of a faery clan somehow marries maro #and is recognized at the olympics as married and it causes so many hijinks #but this response got longer and longer #ot3: defense trio

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