#im also trying to pay homage to a very specific movie in the form of its story telling

[boyegcs]

I enjoyed the film but I’m not a hardcore Jurassic Park fan in general so I’d like to hear the side of someone who feels quite strongly about the films and why you didn’t like it! Feel free to rant :)

hi omg thank u so much for giving me an outlet. beware, under the cut is jurassic world spoilers + bitchy ranting (to anyone else who is curious. feel free to join in on the discourse. im curious af)

lemme start by saying that i may just be a pessimist in general, i didn’t sleep well last night, and the first jurassic park is one of my favorite movies of all time. i havent watched the 2nd and 3rd much in recent years, and wasn’t crazy about jurassic world. nothing can do justice to the first movie. it is flawless, beautiful, sentimental, smart, and the animatronics… are so….. good…..

whatever, onto the new movie.

i liked things about it. i promise i did. i liked the chemistry between bryce dallas howard and chris pratt more in this one than the first. maisie was a very good child actress! i love justice smith and even if the dialogue wasn’t great, he was pretty relatable (franklin). i also love the actress daniella pineda so even though she didn’t have much screentime, i like her. and i adored that dinosaur in the cell next to them that then plouwed through the rich ass folks trying to buy the fucking dinosaurs.

uhh… the script. 

the first 20 minutes were soooo rigid and i was like ‘am i just sleep deprived or is this shit or both.’ i was ALSO on team ian malcolm since the beginning: let the dinosaurs die. like, i’ve seen all the jurassic park movies. dinosaurs are vicious af. not “let them burn on the island,” but like, essentially? AND THEN THE FORCED EMOTION AKA THE BRACHIOSAURUS(? IDK DINOSAUR NAMES JFC) ON THE ISLAND. like, thanks for that image. PLUS THE ANIMAL BRUTALITY. LIKE, IDK WHY IT HIT ME SO HARD. THEY WERE VERY MEAN TO THE ANIMALS. which sounds dumb coming from the girl who was just like ‘let em die’ 10 mins ago but, y’know, i don’t wanna fucking SEE IT HAPPEN. 

AND FORCED NOSTALGIA. FUCK U MOVIE. 

the couple reviews i saw were like ‘paying homage, respecting the first movie!’ no. fuck that. this movie RIPPED OFF DIRECT SCENES AND SHOTS FROM THE FIRST MOVIE. claw grabbing through bars. squashed under a car. EVEN THE DUMBWAITER SCENE, COPYING THE INFAMOUS KITCHEN SCENE. i was hands down waiting for lightning to electrocute owen and maisie when they were scaling the house. jfc.

the doctor, or … paleo-vet? (yes who i like!), literally had to GET OUT OF THE CAR and look AT THE SAME DINOSAUR as sam neill and laura dern did in the first movie. btw, there were some cgi-heavy scenes in this movie. idk why im SO susceptible to cgi, but i hate it when i notice it. like the cgi goat towards the middle-end? ugly af. even that cute triceratops with her baby i was like ‘ok but its fake…’ i might just be a negative, judgmental person. 

also, the cheap? thrills? like the writers were like lets add oNE MORE THING to add to this ALREADY TENSION-FILLED SCENE. like the truck and the boat/ferry. when they had to get the blood from the t-rex and it semi woke up and THEN guards locked them in and its like… just give them a break. things like that. idk, it got old fast.

BUT YEAH, WHAT GOT OLD THE MOST FAST, WAS DEFINITELY THE ACTUAL RIP-OFF OF MY FAVORITE MOVIE IN THE WORLD.

it wasn’t paying homage. if it was only a couple things, maybe? but i kept gesturing at the screen… i kept sighing… i probably ruined it for the poor dude sitting next to me who was just enjoying his damn popcorn… it was such a long movie and then the whole THATS NOT UR GRANDDAUGHTER SHE IS /ALSO/ A CLONE. like. thanks for giving me one more thing to worry about. i so needed that on top of james cromwell dying and u really mean to tell me tim put his trust in this piece of shit capitalist dudebro? (or maybe it wasn’t tim from the original and just james cromwell / lockwood dude all along… idk, i kinda was like ?? in the beginning, cause they were talking abt someone in college so w/e).

i dont know i think im repeating myself in circles here? if u have any questions or disagree please lmk! like specific examples or anything. or if u wanna avoid this mess cause im just this angry ball of fury, go ahead too. but thank you so much for asking

ADDENDUM: i ended up really loving blue. i saw the relationship between owen and his dinos in the first movie, but damn, it really grew in this one. the clips from when they were babies, blue PURRING, crying, him holding her when the bullet was being taken out, running away at the very end, fucking saving em all… like. blue is the real mvp. 

i liked things about this movie, but i had zero patience for what i hated about it.

ADDENDUM 2 (I SUCK) but i was really annoyed when owen was fighting all those dudes when the... indo-rex or w/e was in a cage and... idk, he might’ve gotten a scratch, but hes what, a behavioral? scientist??? i mean unless he takes some form of self-defense in his free time, he shouldn’t be so lucky to not get a single blow to the face from however many dudes he fought. but maybe his reflexes got cat-like working with the raptors.... whatever

#jw spoilers #idk how to tag #jurassic world #jurassic world fallen kingdom #im just ranting pls dont look @ this if u loved the movie or are in the tag to spazz or cry! #these are my personal opinions