#im going to leave taiwan in about two weeks and im so conflicted on how i spent my time here

[oloreaa]

Weirdest feeling ever

#no i have stuff to do and i have to study but im kinda having an existential crisis so hm #im going to leave taiwan in about two weeks and im so conflicted on how i spent my time here #i have the feeling that i didnt see enough or did enough while i was here and met with friends #but at the same time i know that lots of time i genuinely didnt have the energy for it and its so hard being away from home #esp since i miss my bf and my family like crazy #at the same time i have family and friends in taiwan as well and i also want to spend time with them but the family is so draining #and its just slowly hitting me that many things i do here will be the last time i do #like being at that bus stop or walking down that street or seeing that building #like i know its coming to an end and i will and can probably never return to this specific point again #so im just. just trying to comprehend whats going on vs what i should have done #all the while wishing that i was back already so i can eat my mums food and see my dad in the garden #and my siblings playing video games together and my friends in our city #and i want to be held by my bf so much. these months have felt like an eternity #but i also dont want to leave taiwan bc it was a really nice time here that felt like being in a little bubble #when im back im going to have to work and focus on my bachelors and deal with family #like im really really torn about how i should feel and if there is a way that i can feel #so kinda wanna just bundle up and do nothing but i have my final on friday so i cant #rea rambles