#im just in a permanent state of being afraid i wont be taken seriously. my physio wanted a scan on my foot so om gonna

[steampoweredskeleton]

.

Ignore

#delete later #i have three medical appointments in the work day in the next three weeks #one on Thursday then two mid/late January and i know that its good bc i need these appointments but i get so #anxious that ppl ay work are mad at me for having so many #im also scared about thirsdays one bc its for my ankle and hand pain and ironically the hand is way better and the ankle is also #more stable. something clicked again a couple days ago and fixed the pain in half of ky foot. no idea what happened there but #the click itself hirt like a bitch which is new. most of my pain doesnt start with a click and most clicks are painless #so fun #im just in a permanent state of being afraid i wont be taken seriously. my physio wanted a scan on my foot so om gonna #relay that but like idk what theyre gonna say. also if they do want to swnd me for a scan that's gpnna be ANOTHER appointment #so fuck me i guess. at the very leasy its not like severe psin any more so they wont send me to a and e for an x ray like they did #with my hip that one time. that would fucking suck to explain tp my manager #hey julia im fine but ive been sent ro rhe hospital for a scan so i guess ill be back when im back? #fuck me im anxious. and i hace so much apprenticeship work tp do i want to scream #also was distracted by my aching hands bc often they just ache abd successfully triggered myself so bow time to play what #is actual acge and what is remembered ache oh joy #one of the other appointments is gender clinic appointment abd im hoping to get referred for top surgery now ive been on t #for 9 months. waiting list gonna be like four fucking years but debating saving like mad abd going private bc jesus Christ #i cant bind bc of sensory problems and constantly aching ribs and last time i taped i ripped chunks of skin off so kinda #think i shouldn't do that again but like it sucks. not as bad now that my voice is dropping abd shit but still not fun #we'll see!