#im nervously waiting to take a phonecall so im sittin here overthinking too much

[sharpedgedfool]

This turned into a huge amount of words my bad, im on mobile and can't figure out how to do the read more bit sorry yall

But I have a huge hc that shadow can't see screens the same cause his eyes work differently and he doesn't have the rgb colour cone things that most mobians have

He doesn't do well at video games or with computers and it frustrated him cause he blamed himself for not being able to process the visual information fast enough, but eventually Rouge realises he's struggling with basic stuff like reading things on a screen and without the competitivness he admits he can't see things properly but he sees words fine on paper, so he knows its screen related

After a while they get their hands on colour correcting glasses for him that work with his alien eyes and he's absolutely gutted that he'd spent so much time blaming himself

One of the first things he lets himself open up to Rouge and Omega about and it sorta opens the floodgates of 'what else have I been getting angry at myself for something out of my control' and he begins to work through the internalised shit that was put in his head during the ARK where he was supposed to be 'perfect' so he assumed that it was his own fault if he wasn't able to do something and he just 'wasn't trying hard enough'

But he's has so many things that he's repressed or hidden just because they didn't fit this narrative of 'perfection' set up by people who were narrow-minded to begin with and he struggles with letting himself just exist with these 'flaws' cause it was drilled into him so much that he wasn't supposed to be anything less than perfect or otherwise he's a failed experiment.

(projecting hard here lmao) but the concept of the 'ultimate lifeform' being disabled and beyond social norms while still being fully worthy of that title, and reaching full acceptance of themselves and becoming even more powerful after they let themselves exist above what other people want them to be is a very healing thing to explore, and a very specific type of freedom that i think is important to write for a character that narratively has had very little freedom.

Sonics whole thing is fighting for freedom from Eggman in a physical fight, but Shadow's version of freedom is freeing themselves from expectations and self-doubt, its more of a mental fight.

While Sonic advocates for fairness and equality, Shadows already been treated unfairly and is having to undo a lot of the things that were done to him that now other people are trying to prevent, and theres a sense of grief about that that I think Shadow is a great opportunity to explore that narrative.

#shadow the hedgehog #headcannon rant that just kept goin #im nervously waiting to take a phonecall so im sittin here overthinking too much