#im not usually like this i miss being happy and talkatibe

[daylightfultay]

.

#i feel so stupid at school #i feel like i dont belong there #even tho i know im smart #like i understand things easily and i ask questions and im like good at remembering and stuff #but i am so sad i dont have the energy to just get up and study #and everyone around me is just focused on beimg the best and have goals and dreams #and so do i #but im just too tired and sad all the time to do anything abt it #and all my teachers just call me shy and quiet and they dont even care #they act like im just like this #im not usually like this i miss being happy and talkatibe #i miss being the best #i want to be everyones favorite #the boy i liked hes really smart and i just felt so stupid everytime i talked to him not bc im dumb i just idk how to explain #like i wasnt smart enough or good enough for him #which is crazy bc im never like that im always like oh hes not good enough for ME #anyway he randomly stopped talking to me and i acted like it didnt affect me but it did it actually broke my heart #because for some reason i genuinely liked him #the smartest girls in my class or whatever wanna like force a friend group w the smartest boys #and the way they act is actually mean and i seriously every single time im there i wanna die #they make me feel STUPID #and im not stupid #they act like im there as decoration or smth #like i dont even matter like im just a waste of space #like they have bright futures ahead of them and im just gonna like die at 18 or something #i just dont understand why they act like this #even the teachers talk to me like im dumb #the reason why i dont talk in class is bc everytime i do i get made fun of or like at least i feel like it #i seriously dont understand what made them like this