#im sick of kombucha and im borderline sick of weed LOL !!! and i never want to fucking go hiking again. and i MISS NEW YORK !!! and i miss

[greatcomets]

ok venting in the tags like it's 2014 whatever i'm mentally ill. i'll post a fucked up cat after this to make up for it

#i think i'm just lonely in general. like as a person #i always forget that i don't actually have that many friends but since quitting my job it's getting a little unavoidable #one really good six months where i felt like i was finally coming out of the worst years of my life and nothing at all to show for it #and i feel stupid for like. WANTING to meet people and make connections etc like it feels like it should be unhealthy in some way? and the #friends i do have are great so why mentally do i feel like i need anything else yk. and i dont know the answer and i REALLY dont know how th #e rest of my friends got past this. i just like meeting and knowing people. i don't know. which is cool but i'm going back to school which. #i don't know they're all lovely people but i don't feel like they do. at all. like there's a reason i have 4 friends who only hang out with #each other/me. not at all a knock on anyone at school but it's so hard to find commonalities just with the way the student culture is or wha #tever. i dont know. i dont know! what am i even saying. sorry this sucks i need to like. get over myself. i was not built to not be in #cities. like even if i'm horribly depressed the feeling of people existing around me helps. i don't want to feel alone anymore. i want a #life that i feel like im actually building. im sick of existing in a place i don't actually want to live. i want to have an existence i can #be nostalgic for and make connections i can still have 2 years from now. i hate that i'm there now and i still can't do anything about it bc #of fucking covid !!!!!!! i miss feeling momentum and excitment and like. drive. i want to make art and show people art and be shown art. and #im sick of kombucha and im borderline sick of weed LOL !!! and i never want to fucking go hiking again. and i MISS NEW YORK !!! and i miss #my dad. idk. idk. anyway. the point is i do not have a lot of friends and i never realize it until they're all busy and i'm venting on tumbl #r dot com like i used to do in like. High school. awful shit ❤️ much love #i only mean like 50-80% of this you decide #wow i sound like an asshole