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fatoujallovv · 3 years

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hey hi besties 🥺 i recently hit 500 followers and i wanted to take a moment to thank everyone that has hung out with me for the past 10 months. whether you’ve helped me learn to gif, supported my writing, humored me when i do a billion ask games, or just been with me along the way, i’m so so grateful for the amazing family i have here 🥺💛 this lil blog is my safe space and i wanted to let you all know how much you mean to me 💗💗💗💗

i’m doing a few things to celebrate 💛 first is one of those as ranked by my followers things 🤪 i’ll prob leave the form for a couple weeks if u wanna vote :)

vote for ur fav of my top 15 skamverse characters here!

next is gif requests! this is inspired by @fatoudixon’s lil christmas present series bc it was so adorable 🥺

give me a gifset idea that would make you happy, or send me a mutual you love and an idea for a gifset you think would make them happy. you can just give me a character/music video etc, or you can describe color(s) you/they like, a fav character’s trademark lil mannerism, a theme, a quote, parallels, literally anything and i’ll do my best to bring your idea to life!

if you don’t know what to request, a list of skamverse seasons and musicians i'll gif is under the cut! if we have a mutual interest i didn’t list, u can totally go rogue 🤪 if ur requesting a gift ideally i’d be mutuals with them bc i wanna do a Good Job and not seem like a weirdo gifting to people that don’t know me lmao so feel free to read thru things under the cut as I should (hopefully) have tagged all my mutuals unless they've been inactive for 200 days bc I don’t wanna to bother them akjfghjgakj butttt if in doubt feel free to dm me to check!

last i want to send loving brainwaves to the mutuals that have made tumblr such a fun and comforting place for me, so that's under the cut as well :’)

things I'll gif :)

skam: skam france (i haven't watched the new seasons tho eek), druck s3 + new gen my beloved, og s3 and s4, skam nl (i just started the other day so i've only watched isa’s season but by the time i finish these i hope i’ll have watched both ajhfahfj) music: troye sivan, conan gray, hayley kiyoko, dua lipa, dodie, lennon stella, one direction & solo harry, and i like plenty of others just these are the ones i feel like i know and like a significant enough portion of their discography 😌 but i love giffing music stuff so don’t feel limited to the list !!!

alrighttttttttt time to get sappy 🤪✌️

to my mutuals:

whether we frequent each other’s asks or we only ever interact telepathically by liking each other’s posts, thank you. thank you for putting awesome things on my dash, thank you for the amazing things you create, thank you for hyping up my personal posts, for tolerating my very long tags, for sharing all your lovely personalities. a lot of you feel more like pocket family than pocket friends. thank you for allowing me a space to be myself for pretty much the first time ever and being the most amazing and kind and talented friends I could ask for 💛💛💛💛 without further ado, here’s my bizarre way of saying i love you: mutuals superlatives.... kind of.....

mutuals i want to sip tea and watch the sunset on a porch swing with: @wilderness-solace @tawmlinsun @katzen-kinder @evilhersxlf @sanabakkoushd @saltyflowr @awake-dreamer18 @lesbianearn @fireflysxx @katnisseverden

mutuals i want to take me to a museum and tell me about all their favorite pieces of art: @luxandobscurus @nyttvera @smblmn @lepetitepeach @nellsdani @blanxkey @beachbathe @fatoudixon @vexedtonightmares @clairdelalune @demauryss

mutuals i would go on a rollercoaster with if they asked even though i hate rollercoasters with everything i am (i will protect u at all !!!! costs !!!!!!): @kritiquer @vanillalipstick66 @ffriluftslivv @sunflouwermoon @lesbeanadiamcnll @isakeijjser @maxberninis @birthdaysentiment @letisnotonfire @sandersdocs @thenerd10

mutuals i want to adopt me like pls i literally have the paperwork ready: @spiritinanitecap @alwayskissmeatnight @caroldanvr @lallemcnt @buckywilsn

mutuals i want to be my cool older sibling pls and thank u <3: @alexauriant @tsjernobyl @ayarambles @lifeisevak @germericangirl @bethisneckdeep

mutuals i want to take on a petting zoo date SO BADLY: @sonderthroughthestreets @harubirus @lololil @racoons-hedgehogs-and-pixiedust @polarisrodulv @yaraaimsakul @genjasafin

mutuals i want to literally kiss on the lips: @lieverobbe @graceryders @hidden-joy @arzkiya-hai @ijzerengels

mutuals i want to be at the sleepover after i kiss the other mutual on the lips: @alinaoretscv @starryfreckles @fatousjallow @isakeijzer @theflowerisblue @dagcutie @franboos @gucciboner @torisgf @sandersyasmina

mutuals i would call if i needed to dispose of a body: @lucasotteli @noorengels @thegirlyouknow @lolasluquette @womenstan @herlade

mutuals im scared to even call mutuals bc holy shit I am Unworthy: @veerledejaegers @noramachwtz @marjvn @fatoujallow @floraflorenzi

my wedding bc why not it’s my post bride: @hidden-joy ofc <3 wedding party: @luxandobscurus @lucasotteli @sandersyasmina @vexedtonightmares @clairdelalune flower girls: @thenerd10 @arzkiya-hai @ijzerengels @yaraaimsakul ring bearer: @genjasafin officiant: @fireflysxx wedding planner: @katnisseverden

#ellie500 #<< tag to block for gif request stuff #ellie's skamverse top 15 #<< tag to block for the characters as ranked by my followers #ok that's all I talked too much as always no surprises there but I love you allllll 🥺💛#i may be silly and ... schedule this for when europeans r waking up just for fun #so if you see this on ur dash at 3am for me don't be concerned im prob awake but im not actively posting this rn i promise

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survivingjapan · 7 years

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EPISODE 4 “The World Doesn't Revolve Around Jaiden Hantz” Jaiden

I voted for Jonathan because I thought that's what people were doing. Ashley went home.... Jonathan called out Alex after tribal who is my ONLY ally in this game.... I did the duel and lost so now we have to go straight back to tribal after a fucked up messy vote........ do i want to be alive???????

NGRJKDLANVJKADFLNJVKAVFDNAJNVADNVJ;ANEFUBNVAUDBNFJBNAVJKBNDAVJADSNBJVADSVNJKLADVNS I CAN'T BELIEVE I WON LMFAO SHOUTOUT TO MY ROOMMATE FOR HEARING ME BE THE RUDEST I'VE EVER BEEN TO HIM! I'M SORRY RYAN! SHOUTOUT TO Ruthie/Kendall/Alex/Drew (whichever one I decided upon) for saving your life in this game an extra round. I was about to vote you out, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Tbh I was kinda looking forward to losing this round and dedicating tonight to plotting someone's life being destroyed, but I guess winning is okay too. Now my tribe likely won't vote me out because I saved their asses because everyone was fucking PRAISING Ashton for winning last time, so now I guess I'm in the same boat, but he did his for 5 hours and I did mine for 12 minutes, but oh well. Sorry Richie, I hope you don't go home because you gave it your all! I also totally probably wouldn't have won that duel if it wasn't Survivor Trivia considering it's one of the only things in life I'm actually good at. Time to get high now :)

Why haven't they exiled Jaiden, who says that the reason the word "SOMEONE" was capitalized was because it had to be a fat person. Jaiden ur dumb bye

So after Brian was rescued and Pat sent home, I knew I might have put myself out there a little far.....so knowing that we're going to tribal again, I want to pull back the reigns and slide back into the shadows.

The three names that are coming up most often are Jonathan, Ashley, and Kage. Jonathan's name seemed the most rampant in the earlier part of the round until he came online to form a power alliance between himself, Sarah, Brian, Tommy, Junior, Jaiden, and myself. This changed the minds of the people in the alliance to targeting Ashley instead (given that she was semi-inact and on the outer)

Side-Note: Brian, Sarah, and I have an alliance so it works perfectly for us to camouflage.

And Kage, oh silly Kage, thinking that Ashley was somehow the right person to go after for his game....basically campaigned against her too despite her campaigning against Jonathan, thus helping both of them. Classic Kage.

Anyways. I was going to tell Alex about it considering I still had allegiance to him (as Junior did to Linus and Richie), but then I come to find out that he was co-leading an alliance with Kage that included the two of them, Tommy, Linus, and Ashley. Tommy claimed it had been made the first round and had halfway dissolved but thought I should know since we are so "close" and since they flipped on him in the first vote...

Now, although I'm not sure I believe it entirely yet, I didn't tell Alex about the vote going against Ashley because A) I kinda thought he knew B) In the case that Tommy is telling the truth, I don't want to be the idiot that caused a correct idol play to occur and have Jonathan go home. I can mend my bridge with Alex despite what the truth is, but I can't mend the bridge with my alliance if I were the reason one of them went home.

So although Ashley seemed like a gem, she had to go....now let's hope I can stay in the safe-zone and stay alive at our next tribal...

Kage is such a sweet guy and I know he means no harm but girl... you're going home. It was inevitable that his target was going to be front and center and it seems like this round is his unless he pulls out an idol. I do think that he would vote another direction, say Richie or Jonathan, but I'm not 100% sure. He thinks it would be iconic if we went from enemies to allies, as do I, but I'm not sure if that's in my best interest.

I told Richie a lot of stuff this round so far because I want him to trust me. We didn't have any layer of trust built up yet, so I needed to do that quick, and I think I have successfully done that.

Also, Jonathan tried to pull a big move and mentioned maybe actually targeting Richie like Kage suggested to him, but I shut that shit down real quick. I don't think it's a good move to save someone who we could work with in the future and is trustworthy as of yet compared to someone who is a complete mess and has thrown so many names out there to be targeted. So all-in-all, I'm not playing a huge game, but I do want to toot my own horn and say that I think I'm playing this game much better now. ^~^

so yeah voted in minority and lost duel but today brian tells me that people have been saying my name for this vote so i turned up my social game and have been talking to people all day and then now tommy just confronted me saying that ashley told tommy that i told ashley that tommy was voting for ashley last night... which is complete bullshit because i didnt tell ashley shit and i was the only person to not vote her out so why the fuck would i be throwing shit around and why would she be throwing me under the bus when i was the only person on her side??? but then tommy told me that ashley told him that alex told ashley that i told alex that tommy was voting ashley... which i DID tell alex that tommy was voting ashley so thats possibly true but of course i told tommy i didnt say shit lmao and then tommy was trying to be like "so alex is the one trying to stir shit?" and i know i need to save myself but i cant throw alex under the bus to save myself because hes the only person in this game that i trust even though his stupid ass dumb fucking mouth got me in trouble in the first place but if he leaves then i'm alone and fucked anyway and i just hate everyone.....

i've been on a bit of a campaign trail trying to talk about the fact that its heroes vs villains and the hosts are going to play up the theme and keep the tribes this way for a while without a swap so keep me around because im an asset in challenges i made the flag i particiapted in the scavenger hunt and i stepped up for the duel( even though i floppped) and that im alone in the game so use me as a number im out of the loop strategically so just keep me around.... idk whats going to happen

i hope and feel like im good with brian alex junior and jaiden + myself thats 5 people and majority is 6 so if i can figure out a way to defuse and deescalate the situation and maybe just make people like me enough they dont want to vote me out i'll be able to stick around but i dont have high hopes because this tribe is a fucking mess where one name gets thrown out then everyone jumps on it and waffles back and forth for hours on what to do until its the last second and they just decide to go with the most prominent name so they keep themselves safe this is the most usless group of people ive ever seen but wish me luck!

Okay, so because Queen Jonathan wants to vote out Alex, we're apparently voting Alex out? I don't really like this. I really don't. I don't have a strong relationship with Alex, but I also just don't see the necessity to make this tribe look messier and messier. It outs a big alliance, shows Kage and Richie they're on the bottom... like... why? And it also outs Linus as a solo man. I really just am scared. This move seems like too much too soon. I don't like it.

What I told Jaiden: >>Okay my issue with this big move against Alex is not anything to do with like Alex. I don't have a good relationship with him at all bc we don't really click, so I don't care if we send him out the door, but we're not only putting Richie, Kage, and Linus on the outs if this move works, it's outing a now obvious group. If we just vote Kage, it's a united front. Kage isn't going to help us and although Alex and Richie might flip in the future anyway, we're villains for a reason. And Jonathan pushing his agenda is not making me feel any better. I don't want to look back and be like, "Why did we let jonathan do whatever the fuck he wanted?"

Trying to figure out the game like

Also god bless Johnny and his Survivor knowledge

havent done of these in a while. so anyways, here's where i'm at. i've got a seven person alliance, i hate kage and alex, linus is suspect af, and i could probably get screwed tonight because i'm being really strategical.

tonight is the night i do NOT want to go home at, so i'm making a master plan to avoid that happening. i cracked a plan to rid this game of alex s forever, but i am almost certain that alex KNOWS about this plan and is coming for me hardcore. i blame crow or junior, maybe sarah. who knows, truly.

anyways... i told brian to vote for kage with me and hopefully richie. i'll talk to richie and be like hi pls make sure you vote for K A G E. this way, if alex has an idol, the votes at best go 3-2-1 (kage/me probs/richie) and at worst tie 3-3 (kage/me probs) and everyone else draws rocks... lmao

idk why i'm making this all about me, but the universe doesn't revolve around jaiden hantz for nothing. if i go home this fucking early after playing this fucking good... yikes.

HOWEVER: here is where the big risk comes in.

brian and i both have voted for kage. this could take the vote to 5-5-1 depending on where kage votes... which means rocks. LOL. i'm a messy bitch, this is why i'm on the villains tribe. i don't really care if we go to rocks tbh as long as its not me, brian, or tommy... because like i dont necessarily like anyone on this tribe all that much. even if it is me, that's a fucking ICONIC way to go and it's all my fault LOOOOOL. premerge king, tru!

IF this somehow happens to be the last confessional i ever write, at least i looked good writing it. i'm in such a cute position -- got people wrapped around my finger to the point where they went against their hatred of kage to do my bidding and get rid of alex. i am extremely close to people i came into this game HATING (junior and sarah for example), people i didn't even know (jonathan and brian), and people I needed to work with again (tommy and crow). not only that, but kage probably likes me. linus complimented me for being in a good position. alex... can choke idc what his opinion of me is, no offense alex!! (ur a nice guy and a good player, but GOD u intimidate the shit out of me and you have every reason to hate me). richie is aight, just quiet idk.

also, if i go home, this season was the ultimate testament to the player that i am. i take risks, big fucking risks. i have balls, and even though it's premerge, i'm not afraid to flex those muscles and pull some shit out of my ass to make things #happen. it's been fun yall! no bitterness from me here. unless i actually get voted out by the majority of the tribe, i'll rly scream then lmfao

15 minutes until tribal and im going to vomit... i feel a lot more safe now than i did earlier today but its been rough im SUCH a control freak like i want to always be in charge and know whats going on and be the one calling the shots and i know im not in that position so ive taken the back seat and turned up my social game and let everyone else do the work to save me so i wasnt putting myself in the front of the plans where it could come back on me and if it doesnt work out then im never going to forgive myself for not doing more to save myself but if i'm still here then im going to make sure that things change i'm ready to slit some metaphorical throats

*chicken voice* DAMN. I played myself! I'm like, not surprised that I went out premerge...for the fourth time... but to go out by rocks? iconic. inspiring.

other than the obvious sadness that comes with going home, i can't say that i'm really all that upset. i clearly came here to win and i was playing the type of game that could easily get me to that point, but i don't take back any of the moves i made this season... not even that one vote flip that happened. i really thought that alex had an idol! he was being really cocky last minute so i KNEW something was up... it's just disappointing to know that i couldn't have gone all the way with this this season.

my tumblr survivor story is such a mixed bag. i've had many, many failures. today is included. i didn't even make it to single digits this game, one of the most simple goals i set out for me to achieve on this attempt. while we can look at my records, my terrible placements, and all of that garbage, there is absolutely nothing that compares to the gameplay that went into this season to make things happen for me.

for once, i can say that i was not voted out early. not one person put my name down on parchment tonight, not yesterday, and not last week. i have nothing bad to say about a single person i competed against on my tribe this season (except kage sometimes), and maybe they have nothing negative to say about me, either.

i played probably the best game i've ever played in tumblr survivor. i took control, but i still listened to everyone's concerns. i calmed my anxiety from causing me to lose control of the situation. not once did i personally attack a person this season (sad to admit that this is a record for me). but most of all... i'm walking out of here, eleven days later, a changed person. now i know that i have the ability to play well, the doors are wide open for me.

i leave japan with a considerable amount of lessons learned in such a short amount of time. i leave with the strongest friendships i've ever had, new and old. but most of all? i leave overwhelming proud of the change i set forth within myself. i came here a villain and i'd like to say i'm leaving a hero. nothing can take away from the experiences i've had in this milestone game... i am so happy i did this.

#returnrevengeredemption #confessionals

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