#in a complex regency form of subtweeting

[swashbucklery]

I'd just like to put it out there that I have been really enjoying your thoughts on Bridgerton and would be absolutely delighted to hear literally anything else you have to say about it. Especially if it's related to Eloise Bridgerton being a lesbian or Kate Sharma exploring her sexuality. Hope you're having a lovely day

Oh my god anon okay. OKAY.

Because here is the thing I like Bridgerton but I also hate it. I love it like Kate Sharma loves Anthony which is to say that I sit down in front of it and spend 53 minutes SEETHING and going UGH WHY CAN'T YOU BE BETTER and then spend 7 minutes enjoying myself and well. Here we are.

And I stand behind my feelings in this post because I feel like that was the piece that like. Kate is SO GOOD and she's FASCINATING but I feel like she sort of fell victim to her own success in some ways. They did such a good job of making her SO tough SO independent SO closed off that then when she had to break apart it just - it was fine but it didn't LAND, you know? And it gets me because I wanted it to land so much.

Which: this is always fraught and I don't want to get into the idea of "good" romance or "bad" romance because the fact of the matter is that romance is a matter of taste. Things that one person finds unspeakably romantic and deeply erotic are going to be another person's hard squicks and there are limits to how much it can be universalized.

But if they were going to fix Bridgerton to cater specifically to ME then:

- Eloise is a lesbian she’s a FUCKING lesbian she and Pen are in love and neither of them know what to do about it because they don’t have the language to interpret their feelings so they’re just being awful garbage teens about it. Pen got so upset about Eloise liking a boy that she fucking rUINED HER NAME in the SOCIETY PAPERS by IMPLYING THAT SHE WAS A SLUT like fuck Lady Whistledown that’s not what it was about IT WAS ABOUT THE FACT THAT IT WAS ELOISE AND A BOY WHO WASN’T PENELOPE.

- Eloise who saw enough pieces to the puzzle and had that horrible shaking realization and it wasn’t about the clues like the type of ink or the printing at all that undid the secret. It was about the ways that she noticed Pen’s words and the ways that those words were always informed by Eloise. The context of complaining to Pen about something and then Lady Whistledown agreeing with her the following week. The context of Eloise being ~ruined and Pen not writing again. The way that she sees how guilty Pen is but also the absolute and utter unforgivability of what she’s done because Eloise is so - she’s so noble, she has these beautiful ideals that she truly believes in because she’s still so young in a lot of ways. And it’s not that Pen said the thing or that Eloise’s reputation is harmed it’s the breach of trust it’s the deep intimacy of their friendship being broken open at its foundation.

- It’s the way that neither of them have ever really cried, ever really been hurting, and suddenly when they’re betrayed by the other it’s the most mortal wound imaginable

- Anyway somewhere out there is a universe where Eloise mopes about Pen for an entire winter and doesn’t write once, and Pen tries to do something ugly. Something awful, something vicious and dramatic and when Eloise doesn’t react it’s more than she can possibly bear.

- Pen who tries over and over to get Eloise to notice her because Eloise’s indifference is intolerable

- Eloise who refuses to react, refuses to engage, is perfectly civil and appropriate and doesn’t given Penelope a single drop of ammunition until Penelope finally cracks. It’s not Pen being mean that undoes her it’s the moment when Penelope says, with real genuine pain in her voice, heart in throat, that she misses her.

- The way that they’re both shaking with the intensity of what they’re feeling. (They’re in an orangerie, they must be, trees and the smell of citrus penning them in while they’re looking out a conservatory window at the party below, everyone lit up like little jewels)

- The moment when Eloise breaks, and it’s about the tears and it’s about how angry she is and it’s about how she missed Penelope every single day and she couldn’t even bear to say it after what Penelope did.

- It’s these two tearing each other up and fighting and crying and at the end of it they’re both exhausted, slumped against each other, all fought out and wrung out.

- It’s that moment when Eloise’s hand is resting on her lap and Penelope laces their fingers together and something shifts. Like the floor is less even. Like suddenly they’re noticing something they can never unsee. Suddenly their faces are so close and they’re both just raw and exhausted and they don’t think: it just happens.

- That first kiss and it turns into this absolutely consuming, absolutely overwhelming bodice-ruffling makeout session and it’s Penelope that panics first because Everyone Will Know and Eloise like: why, are you going to fucking tell them and it’s such a mess, they finally fixed things and now it’s a mess all over again

- But also what if Penelope stopped being awful. What if she kissed Eloise and left for a few weeks and then realized that she was being so mean because of her pent-up gayness and just like. . .calmed down.

- IDK what happens then probably a lot of drama but I think it ends with one of them entering into a sham marriage with a lovely gay gentleman and then living comfortably in a country house with the other partner and the gay gentleman’s boyfriend as their ~live in companions~. Eloise is given a small allowance and uses it to write novels under a male pseudonym. It’s wonderful.

#sorry i got carried away but this IS what happens #i also have feelings about kate but i think that's going to derail this #you'll have to send me another ask if you want them anon #this also works as an elaborate battle of words #in which eloise starts a competing publication using penelope's playbook #and sometimes it's scooping lady whistledown's gossip #but most of the time it's just correcting her grammar and providing counter-opinions on lady whistledown's opinions #in a complex regency form of subtweeting #and eventually this escalates to a confrontation #but they DO kiss in an orangerie after a particularly vicious fight #that's non-negotiable #eloise bridgerton is a FUCKING lesbian fight me #eloise x penelope #bridgerton: georgian gossip girl #tagfic #my fic