#in all honesty i too will probably keep wearing a mask because i got ptsd over this shit lmfao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

stealingpotatoes · 4 years

Text

After Hours

AO3 Link

Summary: Emily wakes up from a nightmare on the Dreadful Wale. But she’s not the only person awake.

(NB: If you think about Meagan’s Heart line "Some nights she wakes choking, hearing the screams of a young girl, watching - her mother die", along with the fact Emily has got to have PTSD in some shape or form after DH1 it leads to... stuff. This is stuff, I guess. Perhaps poorly executed stuff, but stuff nonetheless.)

---

Emily gasped awake and shot up, panic gripping her entire body.

She looked around her frantically, before her shoulders dropped out of their tense position and her breathing became less ragged. She was on the Dreadful Wale, in her cabin. She was fine. She was safe. It was just a nightmare. It was just a nightmare.

But, of course, it wasn’t really just a nightmare, not really... most of it had actually happened. Not in quite the same way as the dream, but similar. Recognisable.

This wasn’t the first time she’d had a nightmare in the month-and-a-half she’d been on the Dreadful Wale. She didn’t get those kinds of nightmares that often -- not as often as when she was a kid, at least -- but they still happened enough.

In all honesty, Emily was hoping that with all she’d seen since the coup began, she’d have something else to have nightmares about. She’d hoped she wouldn’t have to see those masks when she slept ever again. But instead, all the events had merged into some horrid and warped amalgamation.

Tonight, it felt like she’d seen everything. She hadn’t just seen her mother killed, she’d seen the Golden Cat, the Loyalists’ massacre, her father turned to stone, Alexi stabbed. And all she could do was watch. Stuck still, no matter how hard she willed herself to move, to fight, to do anything. She was helpless. She could only watch, just like when it happened.

And the Whalers… the Whalers were there. They did it. All of it, for some reason, not only assassinating her mother. And Daud was in it. He led the Whalers. Emily couldn’t remember his face, not really. Just the impression of it. It made sense; she’d only seen it briefly, fifteen years ago. Still, she remembered his red jacket, and how big and scary he was. And his blade… his blade ripping through her mother--

Emily inhaled sharply and blinked away her tears. She needed some air.

Emily changed into her trousers and shirt. It probably wasn’t cold enough to merit her wearing her coat. Anyhow, everything felt too hot and stuffy; she could do with a bit of cold. She pulled her boots on, opened the door to her quarters and made her way to the top deck, staying as quiet as she could, careful not to wake Anton or Meagan.

She opened the outer door and was immediately met by the starry sky and a cool night breeze on her skin. Emily shut her eyes for a moment and breathed the sea air in. Exactly what she needed.

She opened her eyes again and quietly closed the door behind her, before walking to the side of the Dreadful Wale’s low-lit deck and leaning over it.

Emily stared out at the dark sea. The waves were calm tonight, as was the wind. The occasional gust rippled along the water (and blew her long, undone hair about her face), but otherwise the waves were low and methodic, gently beating at the Dreadful Wale’s side. They were small enough that they weren’t disrupting the reflections of Karnaca’s lights and the moon and stars all too much. It must’ve been about three hours past midnight, but the city still seemed to be as awake as ever, even from all the way out here.

Emily looked up from the reflection at the city itself. She’d understood why her father had missed it so much from the very second she’d seen it sailing in. She wasn’t quite sure what it was, but there was a sort of magic about it. A certain joy or brightness, even now, with all that the city and the Empire was going through. Or maybe it was just because the sky here was actually blue, and not almost always depressingly grey, like Dunwall’s.

Emily laughed to herself a little. She’d also come to understand why her father complained about Dunwall’s weather so much after being here. Karnaca was so much warmer than home. Not oppressively hot -- at least, not most of the time -- but a nice, comforting warmth. She definitely preferred it to Dunwall’s weather too.

“Can’t sleep?”

Emily startled at the sudden noise. She looked over her shoulder towards the source of the voice: Meagan Foster, standing a few paces behind Emily on the deck. Emily chided herself mentally for not hearing Meagan coming before. Meagan was weirdly good at sneaking up on people; she’d made Emily jump a few more times than she was happy to admit, and Anton had made a fair few comments about it.

Emily smiled at Meagan. She couldn’t see her properly in the low light, but she could tell Meagan was fully dressed for the day, in that cream coat she always wore, despite how early it was.

Emily’s eyes lingered on Meagan’s arm for a few moments. She still wasn’t quite used to Meagan having both arms, or both eyes again, but that made sense, really; it had only been a couple days since she’d changed the past back at Stilton’s Manor -- only a couple of days since Meagan had got her arm back. Or only a couple days since Meagan had never lost her arm...? It was all a little confusing and Emily wasn’t even going to try to pretend she understood it completely.

Meagan walked up to Emily and joined her leaning on the ship’s side.

“Yeah- it was just a bad dream. That’s all,” Emily answered dismissively.

“Ah.”

Emily glanced at Meagan. Now she was closer, Emily could see her better. She looked tired, in that sort of way people did after a rude and unexpected awakening. Probably the same way Emily looked right now. Maybe even for the same reasons… Emily remembered something the Heart had said about Meagan once; something about how some nights Meagan woke up choking, hearing the screams of a little girl watching her mother die. Had that happened tonight? And who was that girl? Was it Meagan? The Heart was always so vague and she didn’t usually answer Emily’s questions, or explain much further.

Emily knew so little about Meagan’s past.

All she really knew was from Meagan’s aside comments and that… well, that didn’t add up to much. But Emily had decided Meagan’s past didn’t matter; what mattered was that she was helping Emily now. Emily wasn’t in a position to start being picky about her allies. And if Meagan didn’t want to tell her, Emily wouldn’t ask. She owed Meagan that much. She owed Meagan her life, really.

“I take it you can’t sleep either,” Emily stated, looking at Meagan through the corner of her eye.

Meagan gave a small nod.

“Anything keeping you up?”

Meagan hesitated. “Nothing in particular,” her eyes were still trained on the water.

Emily looked out to the sea too, and they fell into a silence. The peaceful water lapping on itself and the side of the ship took the place of their conversation.

“After we returned to the Tower- after all the shit that happened after my mother was assassinated, I used to get nightmares a lot.” Emily started, breaking the quiet. She was talking more to herself than she was to Meagan, and she knew it, “And I’d always ask my father to stay with me. Because I uh- I insisted I didn’t get nightmares when he was there.” Emily laughed a little, “I still got nightmares, of course, but…” she trailed off.

“But it was nice knowing he was there?” Meagan finished, quietly.

“Mm,” Emily hummed with a smile. She looked down at her hands and sighed, “I know he was busy- he was so busy. He had all the work he had to do as my protector, then as spymaster-- and he was pretty much doing half my paperwork too. But he never said no. Every time I asked, no matter what, he’d stay. He’d sit by my bed for the whole night sometimes, just because I was a little scared of a bad dream.” Emily looked up and stared out at Karnaca across the water, “I miss him.”

Emily glanced at Meagan. Meagan was still staring out at the water and her expression was almost completely unreadable. Emily caught herself. Right… Meagan probably didn’t want to be regaled with stories of Emily’s messed up childhood.

Emily made a dismissive motion with her hand, “Sorry, I- I’m rambling.”

“He sounds like a great father,” Meagan said after a moment, with a reassuring and unusual warmth.

“He is,” Emily smiled. Is . Emily was going to free him from whatever spell Delilah had put on him, and she was going to get him back. He wasn’t gone. She hadn’t lost him.

Meagan and Emily settled into another silence.

“My uh-” Meagan stopped and took a slow, steady breath, “My father wasn’t the sort of father you came to with your bad dreams.” She paused, “But he always knew what to say to us, and when to say it. When one of the t-- when one of my... younger siblings was freaking out about something, he’d say the exact right thing. Every time...” Meagan sighed quietly, almost too quietly for Emily to hear, "I guess I know what you mean."

Oh, this was odd. Meagan was telling Emily about her past. She was actually choosing to tell Emily about her past. Was Meagan just that tired? Had Emily picked up a new Void ability? Or maybe they were just friends now? They had known and lived with each other for over a month now, after all, and… Emily realised she should probably stop analysing the situation and just be thankful Meagan was telling her.

“Are you two close?” Emily asked tentatively.

Meagan let out a sort-of amused huff, “No. Last time I saw him was… it was a while ago. More than a decade.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Emily shifted her position a little. This was definitely going to be crossing a line; “Did something happen between you?”

Meagan’s mouth drew to a thin line, “We had a... disagreement . A big one.” Meagan paused for a moment, sombering, “The kind you don’t come back from...”

There was another silence and Meagan suddenly looked quite uncomfortable and almost confused, as if she’d only just realised what she’d been saying. The silence became more awkward.

“You should get some more rest,” Meagan finally looked at Emily again, pushing herself off the side of the ship, “Aramis will be here this evening to brief you on what he knows about the Duke’s palace.”

“Yes,” Emily stood up straight too. There was a short moment before Emily gave Meagan a small wave and turned towards the doors.

After a few paces Emily stopped and turned on her heel to face Meagan again, “Thank you.”

Emily was pretty sure Meagan gave her a half-smile, but she was a little too far off to see in the dark. Emily smiled back and turned around again, heading off to bed.

#emily kaldwin #billie lurk #meagan foster #dishonored 2 #dishonored #fanfic #potes wrotes #hope everyone's having a wonderful day!!!!

33 notes · View notes