#in fairness to me my mental health was circling the drain literally until 2 days ago

[allaganexarch]

godddddd wasting time and energy on things that don't fucking matter has got to be THE worst feeling

#personal #i felt super embarrassed in my korean lesson today #because I didn't have a lot of time the last couple of weeks and I was trying to resolve the situation w the other tutor #when i should have just cut my losses and bailed #and look i know i'm learning there's literally no reason to be embarrassed etc but i am insane so that's not an option LOL #i should have somehow already known the contents of the lesson and therefore not needed the lesson hope this helps #but actually it was like i spent what little time i had preparing for the other lesson that was stupid and pointless rather than this one #and that just made me feel :( you know #in fairness to me my mental health was circling the drain literally until 2 days ago #so the last couple of days have just been like *sweeps up the carnage of various mental breakdowns and other insane behavior* LOL #but idk just generally feeling frustrated with myself even tho that's not super helpful #also frustrated that stupid bullshit has been taking up way too much of my time and energy lately #and it seems like the more i try to get the stupid bs out of the way the more it just dominates my life somehow #also super helpful that my brain's natural response to this state of being is 'well maybe you can't do anything right and should die :)' #like okay ty for your input LOL #despite how this sounds actually my korean lesson was REALLY good LOL #it was so good I just like got upset about wasting time on other bs you know?? #anyway ty for coming to my nightly overshare i actually feel better now #love to shout into the void #exciting korean learning tag