#it's because his Gayle universe counterpart is a treasure chest full of couscous

[pain-in-the-butler]

modern!Sebastian as Chris Fleming’s Gayle part 2

Sebastian: That’s Agni, Ciel’s friend’s guardian. The friend visited our house once and Agni came to pick him up. I’ve wanted Agni bad ever since Agni: Morning, Sebastian! Staying out of trouble? Sebastian: Yep! Haha! Won’t be for long if you keep looking so damn fine Agni: What was that? Sebastian: Nothing! Have a good day!

Sebastian: I got some new cheese knives, because last weekend some criminals broke into the manor and I only had an old butterknife up my sleeve that took real effort to stab with Sebastian: The last thing I need is for anyone seeing me struggle to kill them. Talk about humiliating

Sebastian: I’ve been having a hard time trusting Claude Sebastian: I keep walking around in the middle of the night, thinking that he’s trying to take something from me, the only thing I love in this world: my eighty-four-pound son Sebastian: I know I’ve never told Claude about Ciel, but he knows. You think he’s going to be in the same neighborhood as that soul and just be oblivious? Dream on.

Bard: Some of your yogurt spilled in the fridge, do you want me to just throw it away? Sebastian: Son of a bitch! Bard, what the fuck happened here?! Bard: I was just going in the fridge looking for chicken tenders and I saw your yogurt was spilled Sebastian: That’s not just any yogurt, it’s Chobani! It’s a thick Greek yogurt!

Claude: So there was a fire in the animal shelter where Sebastian visits his favorite cats Claude: Well, Sebastian just burst into this blazing building, right past Scotland Yard. There was no stopping him Claude: All the animals were rescued, but unfortunately Sebastian never came out. And so, it is with inconceivable sorrow that I will announce today that I am now the guardian of Ci— Sebastian: *rams into Claude at mach speed* GET OUT OF HERE, CLAUDE! SCRAM! Sebastian: I’m fine. Got a little singed in there, but not the end of the world

#kuroshitsuji #if you want to know the reason that Ciel has no speaking lines thus far #it's because his Gayle universe counterpart is a treasure chest full of couscous #and wouldn't you know it treasure chests full of couscous don't speak #a