#it's not like i can go out alone 🥹 & it's alrdy dark outside

[noxtivagus]

SIGHHH IMAGINE LATE NIGHT WALKS

#🌙.rambles #😔😔 wna hold hands with someone! non-platonically! #/j with the last part bcs that's cringe #i love going out for walks but god #it's not like i can go out alone 🥹 & it's alrdy dark outside #but... late night walks.... #edit / actually went out for a walk w my dad for a bit. but only for a bit bcs everyone here's busy 😔 #but like #🥺 deep talks n comfortable silence #shy eye contact n some sort of gentle physical affection #like handholding (cringe) or a casual hand over shoulder or on waist #with a friend though of course! just a friend! definitely nothing more!!!! #SIGH . #taking pics of each other n of the moment to remember? #n proof that it's real. it's not just a dream or smth #i love taking pics/videos (which is why my phone storage is so dead) #i have sm pics of my friends honestly. i love them sm #like irl when they're smiling or laughing i'll sometimes sneak in a pic bcs seeing them like that makes me so happy #taking screenshots in the moment while talking w ppl online to rmber exactly how it was in that time #making others happy rlly makes me happy #which is why i like sharing my writing to others. in hopes that maybe just maybe it'll reach out to someone else #resonate with them in a way. it's nice relating to a stranger #n i probably will pursue medicine n become a doctor in the future :') #T_T i rmber especially a few months back #apollo got mad at me actually bcs i think i wasn't really. i think 'open' or 'honest' w choosing what i want? #i wldn't say i'm a people-pleaser but it's more the mindset that 'what the ppl i love want is also what i want' #not as braindead as that tho #deep down i do know what i want but it's hard to rlly be open abt it. no way am i ever gna voice those thoughts out. never #....maybe in time. maybe after pulling an all-nighter n losing all sense of overthinking #there's sm things in my notes of things i've wanted to say but never built the courage or found the voice to do so