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#it's tragic bc they can suffer communication breakdown even when they're both being totally open and direct
krakensdottir · 9 months
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There's a lot of speculation about Aziraphale's thoughts and motivations in accepting the Metatron's proposal. Nothing is known for certain at this point, so nothing's impossible yet.
Personally, though, I don't think Aziraphale was talking in code to Crowley in that final conversation. Nor do I think he was very skeptical of the Metatron at first. No, I genuinely think he bought it at first. And here's the thing: I don't blame him.
The Metatron is a fucking master at this. He offers Aziraphale everything he could want, everything he's ever wanted to hear, on a shiny silver plate. Buddy, I would jump at that. Most of us would. We might know better on some level, or at least be suspicious, but we'd want to believe so bad, we'd probably push that aside. And Aziraphale holds out at first, even when he's offered the chance to change everything. He's saying no... up to the point that Crowley is brought up. That's the sweetener. The Metatron saves that for last, knowing that if nothing else works, that will.
And he's right. Of course he is. He assessed this situation and he had every angle covered. It's not a mark against Aziraphale that it works. Again, everything he's ever hoped for. It's too good to be true, but it's also too good to pass up.
I think he's being genuine in his conversation with Crowley. Nervous? Yes. It's a HUGE change he's contemplating, a massive responsibility. He's undoubtedly got some doubts lurking in the back of his mind, not helping matters. And of course there's no telling how Crowley will take it. All of this is more than enough to explain his jitters and his too-wide smile as he makes his pitch. There's genuine hope in his face and his voice, though. His idealism and optimism have been expertly tapped into. He's willing to at least consider that they're not being played, because oh, he wants so badly to believe it. He's believed a lot less appealing lies before.
And I think it's Crowley who cracks that optimism. Harshly, but effectively. I'm not saying Aziraphale wouldn't have developed his own suspicions, because he would have. But it would've taken longer, and crucially, might not have started to happen until he was already in Heaven and essentially trapped.
Crowley's argument, his reaction, the vehemency of it startles Aziraphale. He doesn't fully understand it. But it gets him thinking. It gets him doubting. Crowley's always been good at that.
He's wary when he follows the Metatron out. His glee has been shattered, and that's good, because when the Second Coming is mentioned, then we see the cautious look kick in. Crowley's shaken him out of himself. He hasn't won the argument - neither of them has, there are no winners here - but he did accomplish part of his goal, which was to make sure that Aziraphale doesn't walk into this blind.
Again, I'm sure Az would've woken up himself. But not soon enough. He'd be holding onto hope as long as he could. And as long as he held onto it, he'd be in the Metatron's control.
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