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blackenedwhite97 · 3 years

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Trials ( An Erasermic x Reader Medieval AU Ch.13-14)

TABLE OF CONTENTS:

https://blackenedwhite97.tumblr.com/post/643722830321696769/trials-an-erasermic-x-reader-medieval-au

CHAPTER 13

"I grew up in the south, far, far away from here." Shouta sat down on the edge of the bed and beckoned for you to do the same. "In fact, I grew up just beyond the southern border, a little ways north of the Southern capital. My parents were wealthy and we lived in a country estate for most of my childhood. We found out about my ability very early on, I reacted instinctively to another child's flare up and quite literally doused a fire straight from their hands. I didn't know then but now that I'm older, I believe my father had an ability of his own, he and my mother used to whisper cryptically about it when they thought I was asleep."

Shouta looked ahead, his eyes watching for something far off, his hand absentmindedly snaking it's fingers through yours. You wrapped your hand around his and listened intently. He'd never spoken much about his life before Kaer Yuuei, only sparing comments here or there about how his mother would or wouldn't like something Hizashi or you were doing, or about the wild nature of his hair was his father's fault.

"We stayed away from the city as much as possible, especially as a family. My father, I remember, would travel back and forth quite a bit. I now realize it was to keep me out of as many compromising situations as possible." Shouta scratched his chin, "I remember how excited I was to get to go to a big event one summer when I was sixteen, I didn't get a whole lot of socialization outside of my family, afterall. The formalwear was itchy and hot, I remember that, the wine tasted terrible and everyone was trying to get married and engaged. It was horrendous if I'm being totally honest."

"I snuck out." Shouta sighed, as if he were confessing. "I snuck out into the gardens of the estate, a fair few of the older men had gone out to drink and smoke away from the general event. They were beyond drunk, and one of them, beyond being able to control himself. It happened quickly, I'm not entirely sure what sparked it, but words were said and offenses made and then there was lighting. A kid, maybe my age, maybe a little bit older, was lit up like a cloud in a storm." Shouta paused, grinding his teeth and taking a deep breath. "I stopped him. I stopped him, but at the cost of outing myself."

Shouta took a minute to himself, whether it was intentionally to gather himself or whether he had fallen into a deep memory, you weren't sure. You let him stay silent, you weren't sure where this was going but you could tell that every word was almost painful for him to speak. It was as if every word was hot to the touch, scalding his tongue for daring to tell the story. When he spoke again he was quieter, scared, possibly mournful.

"The event was being hosted at a very rich family's estate, House Noro." Shouta's eye twitched and his lips pursed.

Your heart sank as the realization that Shouta was about to tell you about what had brought him to Kaer Yuuei. You'd managed to grab parts of the story between Hizashi and Toshinori but they were both reluctant to speak about it fully. From what you were able to piece together, Shouta had some sort of contact with House Noro that ended violently and Hizashi happened across him on his way to Kaer Yuuie. You wrapped your free arm around Shouta's waist and pulled him close, putting your chin on his shoulder and placing a soft kiss to his temple. He leaned into you with a sigh.

"They arrested- abducted both of us that night. I was left in a cell for a few days, starved so I would be more agreeable when they eventually got around to dealing with me. As for the other kid, I heard that he was lashed to death." Shouta's hand began to tremble in yours. "They beat me, at first without any reason. I think they just wanted to ensure that I was broken in before they enslaved me. My ability, it was of interest to them. There was a man, Kozan was his name, who wanted me weaponized."

"Kozan," Shouta's nostrils flared at the name and you already had a bad taste in your mouth about him, " was the newly appointed leader of the extermination effort, as they called it. He saw what I could do and wanted to seize my ability for himself. I was the first gifted person they'd ever abducted for work, I saw a test subject for them. They used me, both for my ability and to learn how to keep other gifted people they found useful in check.

"I was toured around with them like a show horse they'd beat for jest at the end of the day. I'd learned quickly that if I did as I saw told and asked no questions that the beating would be minimal, that fighting back prolonged things. I-"

Shouta's voice cracked and he slouched forward, pulling away from you, and dropped his head into his hands.

"I would erase their abilities and let them get arrested, or beaten or-" Shouta let out a shaky breath, dripping with pain. "killed."

"Sho," you whispered, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. You were transported back to that night in the barn, you trembling under the realization of what you'd done. He was like you, haunted by something he had to do to survive. "they took away your choice. What you did wasn't you, it was them."

Shouta choked back a sob. You'd never seen him openly cry before and it was crushing you, like seeing your father cry. It felt world ending. He leaned back into you and let you swaddle him with your arms, breathing heavily into your chest.

"I told myself that I was only being used when the target was being violent and belligerent, that I was stopping more casualties in the long run. But then there was a kid," he breathed, eventually, "really young, maybe five or six. He was- fuck- he was so scared and I couldln't do it anymore. I lost it."

Shouta sat up and rubbed his red, swollen eyes. Looking down, he continued.

"He was like you, he could conjure things. Well, one thing, a protective bubble around himself." Shouta sniffed. "I told them that I couldn't do it, that the bubble stopped me but I knew I could. Kozan- he knew I was lying- he started to bet me right then and there. I fought back, took out four men with my bare hands before they beat me to unconsciousness. I- I still don't know what happened to that kid."

You were fighting back your own tears, the image of Shouta lying face down in the mud beaten bloody made your stomach twist up in violent knots. You looked up at his scar, remembering him running his fingers over it when Hizashi had mentioned him getting hurt very badly when you'd first met. Kozan. That name burned into your mind, a looming figure to match, a bright red target between his eyes.

'When I woke I was in the stocks," Shouta had calmed now, his voice even but a whisper, "I couldn't hold myself up."

Shouta looked behind you at Hizashi, a sudden air of relief slowly appeasing a fraction of his pain. Hizashi, you realized before Shouta even said it, had saved you both.

"That when he found me." Shouta mumbled tiredly. "Zash broke me out of those stocks in his typical clumsy fashion and whisked me away off towards salvation. He deafened a good handful of Noro footmen on the way, the first time I'd smiled in years."

"Years?" you squeaked.

"Two and half." Shouta nodded sadly.

Your lip quivered. You pressed him closer to you, you didn't know what else to do. All you had was letting him know you were there, that he wasn't there, with them, anymore. He pressed back into you, his arms snaking around your waist.

"I'm sorry." you muttered.

He didn't say anything, instead he took a deep breath and nuzzled into your hair. You stayed like that for a while, until he grew heavy on top of you and you could tell he was fighting off sleep. His eyes were drooping, heavy with tears and exhaustion. You shushed him like a mother to a child and told to rest. You promised him safety and that you'd be right next to him. He frowned, his mind already half taken by dream.

"I'm scared to lose-" he muttered, his lips barely able to part. He faded away, and you let him.

CHAPTER 14

The snow was cold against your skin, a welcomed change to the suffocating heat of Shouta's arms. You'd tried to stay in bed, tired to find sleep but your heart was beating so ferociously you could feel it in every part of your body. Even now, your ears were still red hot. The wintery chill had once against offered you reprieve of searing panic, as it seeped into you the panic left. As you crunched through the snow, following your sporadic tracks from earlier, you tried to reign in your thoughts.

You saw Shouta covered in blood, bruised face and broken will. You saw the embers that glowed on the ashened remains of the annihilated village like Kaer Yuuie to the south. You saw the man at your door, the knife in his hand, the sickening grin he'd had as he threatened you. You saw a child, scared and crying, surrounded by the only protection he could muster. You saw Kirishima, the kid who always smiled at you when you walked in the gates and the rows of gifted art from students that Hizashi hung up in the apartment. You saw a looming figure clad in black armour, no face, no soul, a glowing read target between his eyes.

You stumbled against a solid surface that had risen in front of your feet, and tumbled forward hard. You landed at the steps of the hall, your palms bruising on the stone. You looked up frustrated and ready to accost the building for getting in your way when you saw that the door still cracked open and a dull light flickering inside. Now that you weren't being consumed entirely by your thought you realized that you were shivering, the heat of anxiety had worn thin and you had vernuted out into the snow without your coat and your body was beginning to notice. You pushed yourself up and laboured up the stairs, your knees sore from your tumble.

You slipped in the doorway and looked around the dully lit chamber to see who'd left the door ajar. The hall stretched out before you, far emptier than it had been earlier that night. A lone figure, broad and inhumanly large sat on what used to be a throne, hunched forward head in his hands. You recognized that stressed position immediately, he often sat like that when vital councils were called. Toshinori would sit like that quietly, listening carefully to what everyone had to say with his eyes closed, massaging circles into his eyes soken with his palms. You thought about turning around, going back into the cold but the door had different plans and a powerful gust of wind shook it in it's frame and started Toshinori. He looked up, bleary eyed.

"Ah," he cleared his throat. "Y/n. Come in, it's freezing out."

"Thanks." you smiled politely and scutteled farther into the hall, away from the howling wind and blowing snow.

"Why are you up and walking around at this hour?" He asked, sitting up in his seat. Genuine concern marked his features, he'd be thinking about you when you walked in. You could feel it.

"Couldn't sleep." you said, hoping he'd leave it at that. But of course, he was a good man.

"Are you scared?' He asked grimly. "You're safe here."

Embers and ash filled your minds in a hot white flash and suddenly you felt anger. Anger or fear. You couldn't tell.

"For how long? Until they find us and burn this place down like they did in the south?" You snapped.

"This place is different, Y/n. We're better prepared, we're already better defended." Toshinori's voice remained calm, soothing almost. You felt more frustrated by it.

"What if they find it? What if my necklace- if I led them close enough that they sniff us out?" You felt angry tears pricking at the edges of your vision.

"Like I said, we're prepared-"

"What if we aren't!" You interrupted. Your voice was louder than you'd meant it to be, emotion taking control.

"We are." Toshinori stood, his voice stern but no louder than before. He walked down the single step down towards you. The closer he got the more imposing he felt, it was a side effect of his size. You were reminded, looking up at him that he was in fact a Lord and you needed to control yourself. You wiped your tears away and took a breath before speaking again, this thought had been ever creeping forward from the back of your mind you saw the necklace.

"I need to leave." you sniffed, calmer now. "I could make some noise and lead them away."

"No." Toshiori didn't hesitate. His hands clasped down on your shoulders gently. "I'm not sending you out there to get hurt."

"You have to do what's right from you people, Toshinori." you tried to sound reasonable even though you weren't sure you really wanted this either. "They can't hunt or travel outside the walls and they'll begin to suffer for it! You can't expect people to stay-"

"You're my people." Toshinori interrupted you, his calm demeanor shaken. "I will not sacrifice one of my own."

"It's my choice!" You snapped, pulling away from him. It scared the hell out of you but the fact that Toshinori wouldn't even consider your plan- accept your help, enraged you.

"Everyone knows what it means to be out there, Y/n. No one here wants to feed you to the hounds even if it means a quick fix!" Toshinori was gritting his teeth and balling his fists at his side.

"It's not about want, it's about need." Toshinori was a good man and he was kind but that would be the death of him and, if he continued to think like this, his people. "You have to make this decision for you people, not your own sterling morality!"

"You are my people!" He bellowed, stepping forward and reaching out for you. He stopped short, pulling away and sighing. He was already feeling guilty for his outburst. When he spoke again it was in a quieter, stern voice, an air of finality to it you'd never heard him speak with before. "I will not send one of my own to die because the rest of us have to deal with some restlessness for a while. Your life is worth more than that, every life is worth more than that. I'm not trying to save you, Y/n L/n, I'm trying to save one of my people. Letting you be a pawn is as good as telling everyone else they are pawns, and I am not and will not be that kind of Lord."

You were stunned. Stunned at his honesty, stunned at his calm, stunned at your own insolence, and stunned at his refusal to make the strategic decision. He was both the best and the worst Lord you ever lived under. He was kind and just to his people but he wasn't willing to make the hard decisions his position forced him into. If he waited any longer for a council to make a plan then House Noro was going to be sieging the fortress in the blink of an eye and this haven he'd built would be reduced to ashes. If Toshinori couldn't make this decision then Shouta would have to face the Noros again and it would break him.

You were silent, the duality of resenting Toshinori's words and guilting over your unearned resentment tearing into you. He was doing the best he could, the best he knew how to. It just wasn't good enough. Not now.

"Go home." Toshinori broke the tense silence. "Go home to your family. Let me worry about this, this isn't all on you. It was your necklace, yes, but it could have been anyone else's personal belonging. This isn't on you."

You nodded. He was wrong, or course. He was trying to be kind, hell, he could actually believe what he was telling you. You had killed the young Lord Bennett, sicked the Noro hounds on yourself, led them to your necklace that they were now using to track you and therefore the fortress. Sure, it'd been retrieved but they were already here, coming to the valleys and soon to be hiking up the mountain sides. The best course of action was the one you'd been trying to convince yourself of this whole time.

You hugged yourself close and strode out into the snowy night, your footprints slowly filling in behind you. You could feel Toshinori watching you walk down the road, the image of his tired, worried eyes nagging your resolution. You wanted to believe him, you really did. It wasn't his fault that this was happening, it wasn't his fault that you were a carrier of misfortune. You had to do this for him, make this decision.

You were sure. You were absolutely sure, your resolve had never been stronger. Then you opened the door to your home, Hizashi and Shouta draped over each other. Their faces were angelic in the low like, soft and serene. Hizashi's hair made a flaxen halo that encased them both, you picture wings sprouting from their backs. You hadn't been a religious woman in the traditional sense for many years, not since your parents had died really, but you still firmly believed in the idea of guardian angels. How could you not when you were looking at yours now. Fear welled up in you. You were going to lose them either way, at least this way they wouldn't be lost to House's Noro's blade. At least this way they could tell themselves that you left them, that you picked up and moved on. At least this way they wouldn't be looking their final moments in the eyes knowing that you'd brought death upon them. No, this was better, you reassured yourself.

You had to tear your eyes away from them, every fiber of your being begging to crawl into the bed with them and let their arms envelop you like they did every night. You wanted to at least touch them, give them farewell kisses on their foreheads and tell them you loved them and watched as their sleeping faces grew grins. But you knew that if you did that you would melt into them and stay the night and in the morning all of your will power would be gone. So instead you turned to the writing desk and scribbled 'I'm sorry' and ' I love you', you knew it wouldn't help them in the slightest when they woke up to find you gone but it wasn't for them. It was your last selfish act, you had to let them know that you loved them more deeply than you'd ever loved before. That was for you. They would still have each other.

It was as if you'd faded into your body and let instinct take over from there on out, you packed a bag with rations and winter clothes and dressed in the bare minimum you thought you'd need to stay light on your feet. It was surreal to see what your body knew how to do on instinct, it knew how quiet to be, where to find supplies and how softly to shut the door. It knew what shadows to keep to and what areas of wall were sometimes looked over in patrol, it knew when to flatten against walls to hide and when to dart across open spaces as quickly as possible. It even knew how long of a rope to conjure to scale down the side of the outer fortress wall and how little time you would have to dart into the heavy tree line before someone saw you.

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trans-lola-pop · 4 years

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Types of Psoriasis

Psoriasis is Too Many Skin Cells In psoriasis, new cells build up in the top layer of your skin. They grow faster than your body can remove, or shed, them. Blood vessels below become swollen. This causes thick, red patches, or plaques. What they look and feel like depends on what type of psoriasis you have. Doctors aren't sure what causes it. They think problems with genes and the immune system play a role. Plaque Psoriasis This is the most common type. Patches of skin are red, raised and have silvery-white flakes, called scales. They usually show up on your scalp, elbows, knees, and lower back. They may crack and bleed and they feel sore and itchy. The more you scratch, the thicker they can get. A patch can be as wide as 4 inches; sometimes more. You can get it at any age, but it's more common in adults. Scalp Psoriasis About half the people with psoriasis have this type. It looks like dandruff, but it's not the same thing. Dandruff flakes are yellow and greasy. Scalp psoriasis is powdery and silver or white. Sometimes, the skin on the scalp is just a little bit crusty or flaky. This type can cover the whole head. It can also appear on your forehead, the back of your neck, and around your ears. Guttate Psoriasis Kids and young adults are more likely to get this type. Small red dots with raised edges appear suddenly, usually on the middle of your body. Other common sites are the arms, legs, scalp, ears, and face. Things that trigger this kind of psoriasis include strep throat, the flu, a cold, and other upper respiratory infections. About 1 in 10 people with psoriasis has it. Inverse Psoriasis These patches are shiny, bright red, and very sore. The area around them is usually smooth and doesn’t have silver scales. They appear only where skin touches skin, places called folds. Common areas are the armpits, groin, genitals, buttocks, under the breasts, and behind the knee. Rubbing and sweating can make the condition worse. Many people who have it also have another type of psoriasis. Pustular Psoriasis This rare type might be a reaction to an infection, stress, medications, or contact with certain chemicals. It causes red, swollen patches of skin with pus-filled bumps (called pustules). When these dry out, they turn yellow-brown and scaly. It usually shows up on the palms of your hands or the bottoms of your feet. The blisters may break open, leaving skin cracked and painful. Pustular Psoriasis: Emergency Symptoms This type can sometimes be life-threatening. Go to the hospital immediately if the bumps spread quickly all over your body. Other emergency symptoms are severe itching, rapid pulse, fever, muscle weakness, and chills. Doctors call this sudden form the von Zumbusch variant. Erythrodermic, or Exfoliative This rare form causes large areas of skin to turn bright red, like a bad sunburn, then fall off your body. Symptoms include extremely itchy and painful skin, rapid heartbeat and feeling very cold or hot. It's life-threatening, so go to the hospital. Causes include medications like corticosteroids, or untreated plaque psoriasis. It also affects people with von Zumbusch pustular psoriasis. Psoriatic Nail Disease About half of people with psoriasis also have skin cells build up under their nails, which become thick. They often split or crack. In severe cases, they could crumble or fall off. There may be brownish red or yellow spots underneath. Sometimes, the surface has tiny dents in it, like pin pricks. When they lift off the skin underneath (the nail bed), it's called onycholysis. Psoriatic Arthritis About one-third of people with psoriasis have joint pain, stiffness, and swelling. When both these problems show up, it's called psoriatic arthritis or psoriatic disease. The symptoms don't have to happen at the same time. Dry, red skin patches with silvery scales usually come first, but not always. Nail crumbling and color changes are common in people with this condition.

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