#itd be theirs so they could organize the funeral with it and not waste any of their savings i hope they will do this

[slonechnik]

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#riemblings #pls dont rb or reply i need to rant Somewhere #rly though im trying to write it down but would it be presumptuous to ask to be burried in the same plot as my great gran #it has a pretty headstone and a little garden and theres ivy and anyway they wanted to sell it so honestly #like great gran still gets her grave visited nobody has to waste money on a new place and its a lovely cemetery anyway #i worried that cremation would be too expensive but i feel like it'll be cheaper if they buy either a tin or a wooden urn #tin would be funny bc rly the garbage association just makes it 🤌 but ik parents wouldt want to go for the cheapest #and wood would degrade eventually so #rly v ecological if you think abt it #and i feel itd save up anyway since i dont want a church mass and they always charge a stupid amt of money #i hope nobody will do smth stupid like order a mass for me im including it in the letter anyway but god knows my fam is stubborn #man oh man #i hope theyll listen to me for once and actually cheap out on me #like idk its my deathwish i think they should its probably v selfish of me to say but with the bathroom renovations this year its just #i just dont want to add unnecessary expence im already waiting a little for it to be over and to hopefully get my pay at the job #itd be theirs so they could organize the funeral with it and not waste any of their savings i hope they will do this #i hope ill manage till january #just bc i plan to die doesnt mean i dont care abt what happens after im trying to plan accordingly #i already written down instructions for most stuff internet and where to look for shit #idk i hope theyll be okay #i wish i had energy to save up to make sure theyll be alright when they retire but #i rly dont ive been putting it off for months now #most of my life if were being honest #i hate that i waited I really do i thought i finally could in september but i chickened out again #which is stupid i hate being alive #i hate it so much and yet here i am #man oh man really hope its not for much longer #im so shit at math i rly hope i got the cost down right