#its the same thing that happened in the quarantine fueled depressive episode i lost an insane amount of weight and spent all day on tiktok

[haemosexuality]

realizing that big boobs are the reason why i have so much back pain immediately destroyed the acceptance i spent years working on about how my chest looks. lol

#now that ik it causes actual physical problems it feels like theres a justified reason to hate them. so the dysmorphia is back STRONG #and like its been actually affecting me and how i live my life. a lot. its bad #esp bc ik theres a solution (surgery) so im like. hhhhhhhhhgn #dont get me wrong i want to get breat reduction surgery anyways. because the back pain part is real and its worse than the low self esteem #but id appreciate it if my brain could see it as just that- something that is heavy and thus causes me pain- instead of Thing That Makes Yo #Look Ugly And Built Wrong And Fat #all that is not helped by the fact that i lost weight and that makes the big chest look more disproportionate #cuz when i losing weight does Not make my chest smaller just my stomach/thighs #its the same thing that happened in the quarantine fueled depressive episode i lost an insane amount of weight and spent all day on tiktok #it made the dysmorphia skyrock it was awful #cuz when i lose weight* not losing