#ive been stringing myself along with empty promises and 'it'll get better'

[actual-changeling]

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#alex gets personal #i'm just so fucking tired of this #nothing works it never actually gets better it never stops being fucking excruciating work every single day #ive been stringing myself along with empty promises and 'it'll get better' #but it's just. not. getting better #do you know how exhausted i am? because i am not exaggerating or lying when i say that i have been trying not to kill myself since i was #three years old and alone and lonely and hated and disliked and reduced to my mother's puppet #and my father hated from the moment he got informed of my potential existence #and then it just got WORSE #all of it just kept getting worse and worse and it never stopped and i was never not alone and i'm so fucking tired #and did i already mention nothing works anymore #cause you can give me the best fucking pep talk ever and my response will be i dont care i just want it to stop #im just gonna keep distracting myself until i either die or get better #whatever happens first and we all know it won't be getting better so therapy's gonna be fun on wednesday