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peachy-jy · 7 years

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ye olde tag game

I was tagged by @got7peaches and I want to know if you came up with the title

(I think this was supposed to be fun and light but it ended up going to a really deep and verbose place so I’m putting it under the cut)

not tagging anyone cuz no one should have to read this lololol fml

how tall are you? 5′6″ and I’m not a fan... short people are cuter what color and style is your hair? red and long and curly what color are your eyes? they’re blue around the edges and green around the pupil and I know that sounds like a description straight out of “my immortal” but no I’m not making this up do you wear glasses or contacts? both but I prefer glasses do you wear braces? never have never will what is your fashion style? I don’t think I really have a “style.” That would require more money than I am willing to spend on clothes. But I love everything Claire wears so... if I could afford Claire’s style and pull it off I would dress like her when were you born? October 22 (burn this date in your mind) how old are you? 24 do you have any siblings? 2 brothers, one older one younger what school/college do you go to? this seems like tmi so I’ll just say I’m in nursing school (as if everyone didn’t know that already I never shut up about it) what kind of student are you? the worst. I’m that asshole who puts in 10% effort and turns in everything late and somehow still does ok what are your favorite subjects? anatomy was super fun (the human body is weird and amazing) but I think my favorite class I’ve ever taken was formal logic (it’s the satisfaction of completing mathematical equations with none of the actual math) what are your favorite shows? 30 rock, parks and rec, the office, community, scrubs... basically good sitcoms with 5+ seasons. I’m also a slut for reality tv (dance moms anyone?) and competition shows (great british bake-off what whaaat) what are your favorite movies? the one I always pick when I have to pick just one is when harry met sally but I am a huge cinephile and I have dozens of favorites so if you’re looking for a movie rec hmu what are your favorite books? my book choices are a lil outdated cuz all I read is fanfic lately lololol but old OLD faves are hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy, the giver, ready player one, and the hunger games series what are your favorite past times? my favorite past time is collecting past times, getting decently good at them, and then abandoning them. I’ve taught myself to play the ukulele, painting and drawing, niche board games, pottery, baking, the basics of a few languages, and a few video games here and there. The only hobbies that I’ve done consistently for several years are knitting, watching movies (specifically going to the movie theater because you can’t beat that atmosphere tbh), and writing (mostly fanfiction; I haven’t written anything original since high school). do you have any regrets? I wish I had never gone to the second university I attended... I basically wasted three years of my life in a hick town. I was miserable but I learned a lot about myself and also a lot about people and how to not be a shitty one so I guess it wasn’t a total waste. It sure felt like it though. what is your dream job? I wish I had the self-confidence to be a fiction writer full time. If I really worked hard at developing original concepts, I think I could be pretty good at it. Plus I would never have to leave my apartment and I could wear sweatpants 24/7, which is the real dream, let’s be real would you like to get married? where? I kind of flip flop on this one... sometimes I think I’d like it but then again I’m such a loner that I think I would suck at marriage sooo... my brother says I need to find someone who is as smart as me but total shit at something I’m good at, so I can take care of them and feel needed. I don’t know that marriage necessarily needs to be involved... Plus if I ever did get married I’d prob elop or only invite my immediate family sooooo do you want kids? how many? I don’t think I’d want to create life but I’d be 100% down for adopting... then again when my celeb crushes say they want kids I’m all I VOLUNTEER so who can say do you like shopping? If I magically come into extra income then yes. If I’m on a budget, shopping for something I need is like torture. The exception is always make-up/skincare. I buy myself new make-up when I’m sad. how many countries have you visited? 7, all of them European, but one of them was just for a day so I feel like it doesn’t really count. I really want to visit some Asian countries, though. what was your scariest dream? The scariest one that comes to mind was being locked in an office building with office workers and there was a serial killer-type guy in a jigsaw mask who kept turning the lights off and abducting people one by one and disfiguring their faces. No fuckin clue where that came from tbh. I’ve never even seen Saw. do you have any enemies? I’d like to think I don’t? I try really hard to treat everyone well regardless of how they treat me because I like being liked... but honestly there are a few people who hate my guts and won’t meet me halfway to reconcile sooooo yes, I guess I do. I don’t hold it against them, though. If they ever took a moment to see things from my point of view they would realize that I never meant them any harm and I’m just a flawed person, trying my best. But apologies don’t go very far with people who like to hold grudges and feel like the world is against them, so I can’t do anything about that. do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? I don’t have the energy for that. Right now, having a S/O sounds kind of terrible actually lmao they’re so much work

THIS GOT HELLA LONG I’M SORRY BLAME CLAIRE

Put your music on shuffle and list the first fifteen songs without skipping:

We Hate You Please Die - Crash and the Boys (Scott Pilgrim anyone? no? ok)

Amsterdam - Imagine Dragons (I downloaded the whole album bc I liked Radioactive but I’ve never actually listened to this song)

Green Onions - Booker T & The MG’s (idk don’t ask)

The Curse of Curves - Cute Is What We Aim For (a one hit wonder but I still know every word to this song)

All Alright - Fun.

Classic Rock Medley - The Cat’s Pajamas (a local acapella group from my high school days)

Bellas Final - the Pitch Perfect Soundtrack (ok this plus the last one is making it seem like I’m obsessed with acapella I’m really not)

East West - Herman’s Hermits (...I actually love this band don’t judge me)

Here It Goes Again - Ok Go (say what you will about the song but that video with the treadmills was iconic)

20 Dollar Nose Bleed - Fall Out Boy

Sims Holidaze - The Sims 2 Bon Voyage (I may or may not have the entire collected Sims soundtrack on my ipod...)

Lesson 4 Pronunciation - Rosetta Stone Italian Level 3 (Remember when I was fluent in Italian? yeah me neither)

Whistle (Acoustic) -Blackpink (I like the original better)

Come So Far (Got So Far To Go) - Hairspray soundtrack (ok but this whole soundtrack is a bop I forgot I used to love this)

Mowgli’s Road - Marina & the Diamonds

What have we learned? That hitting shuffle is not at all indicative of a person’s taste in music, but instead exposes their sordid musical past.

#I just spent two hours doing this oh my god Claire you owe me #tag game #shut up jenna

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jaxxonpollux · 6 years

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notes for vivien during her leave of absence

i’m writing this mostly to talk myself down from going crazy. i don’t know what my problem is. you’d think i’d be able to handle a girl being gone for a week; and i mean, i definitely COULD, if you had said something like “hey, i’m going on a yoga retreat for a month, toodles,” not just disappeared. it’s the unknown that makes me feel nuts, like the possibilities that just bore into my head. i’ve written a mental list like a million times wondering what could have happened, trying to figure out the most likely possibility. we talked about trump. you went to do laundry. then nothing. and i definitely have a void, and i keep feeling like i should do something. write a letter. hop on a plane. call you at various times of the day (maybe you dropped your phone into the couch and just can’t find it?).

at the same time, i do recognize how pathetic it is. it’s like, symptoms of a guy just after being dumped. sending constant affectionate support messages and all that, whiny messages. “miss you, sending my prayers! sending good energy! hope all is well” i honestly hate being that way, even if the feeling is genuine. i want to be more stoic, aloof, nonchalant, casual, not fretting and biting my nails and whining and moping and all that. maybe they’re just thoughts i should keep to myself. maybe there are a lot of things i do and say i should just keep inside. i don’t think they’re very flattering. they’re all things i wish people would do and say for me, i think, which is why i do them, kind of like a “treat others the way you’d like to be treated” mentality. it really is sorta gross. i just need to be affectionate in more subtle ways. here i am again, stuck in my own head.

i do hope you’re okay. and i hope you realize i’ll understand no matter what’s going on. even if it’s a situation that like, sucks for me, like you got back together with b or something. which is something i half expect a lot of the time anyway, even though i really don’t quite know how the two of you get along, what the story really is. i’m just always ready for it. in any case, i’m still fine with being a platonic friend, i mean, we do really get along, you have to admit that. even if we’re not meant to be together. “meant to be.” another strange term for a strange thought. i know i was thinking about stuff like that a lot before you were gone, whether or not you liked me the way i liked you. always this fear of my affection being reciprocated. or like it rapidly started to wane after i came back from miami. i don’t know.

the same thing happened with ainsley, my disney channel girlfriend? i went to see her in plano, we were stuck in bed with each other all day every day. we’d go to the museum and she’d just want to go back home and lie in bed together again. we’d go to a movie, i’d feel a little sick, and we’d leave early, go back home and lie in bed (i think the movie was the grudge 2. didn’t miss it). and we’d be in bed all day under her parents watchful eyes, it was a little embarrassing really! but i remember she had her head in my lap in the backseat when her mom was driving me back to the airport, when i was leaving. i had her listen to mad rush, by philip glass on my ipod, she nearly fell asleep. it was appropriately sad, and sweet. it was a real Boyfriend and Girlfriend thing to do. it felt like the type of scene that belonged in a normal long distance relationship, the longing creeping in just as the good part came to end. always in contact with each other, feeling as much of each other as possible while we could, so we could save the feeling until the next time.

she broke up with me about a week or two after i got back to ohio. and it makes you really reflect back on everything with like, extreme paranoia. like if she was thinking about it the entire time you were together, or if she was just putting it off and ignoring it. was she thinking about it when we had sex in the shower? was she thinking about it when she was showing me old acting videos she did as a younger teenager? at the movies? at the museum? maybe staying in bed all that time, spending all the time together that we did, the closeness, maybe it was just her saying goodbye. and that’s the kind of thing that drags around behind you for years, not the breakup. all the wonderings and questions without answers. it’s probably why i still think about her, even ten years later. just in reflection, not in a pining tortured way. but wondering what it meant for me, how it shaped me, what it really meant. another one of those “mysteries of life,” or something.

i felt like coming to miami was the beginning of something. but maybe it was the end. shows how intuitive i actually am, huh? pisces boy, head in the clouds. sweaterboy, always trying to please, never thinking of himself. at the very least, that memory of staying with you in that hotel room is gonna be with me for a long time, no matter if it was the beginning or the end. even if you decided you’re done with me, even if you’re with b again, even if you’re locked up in an insane asylum, even if your head got lopped off, even if you’re an alien and had to go back to your home planet, that weekend meant a lot to me. i don’t know how many weekends you’ve had like that with other people, probably loads, but it was special for me. and i’m gonna be in my deathbed looking at my palms, trying to remember what you told me about my lifeline being so long, or my love line disappearing into nothing.

anyway, what else should i write for you? i had to go to work in about an hour, so i have at least another hour of writing, huh. we’re getting all that focaccia ready for trump tomorrow. we also have a small plate up for about 370 people, and i have to make my “famous” giant lavash crackers for the trump thing too. apparently they split up the culinary folks into two different teams for the trump thing, since we’re all gonna be trapped in the battelle ballroom all day to prepare for it. i’m on the team headed by “chef frank,” who has been described to me as our “corporate chef,” i.e. the boss of my boss. visiting to be in the presence of the president. he’s a very judgmental, pig-headed italian man, but luckily i have an agreeable personality and kiss his ass enough that he doesn’t bother me. my coworker, however, ambyr, goes ballistic whenever she hears he’s in the building. ambyr is like one of those millenial names we were making fun of, isn’t it? jaxxon. madeighsonne. anyway, it’ll be a hell of a day on friday.

i finished all of mad men too. i was SO happy pete and trudy got back together, honestly just happy for trudy. i have a crush on trudy, especially late-game trudy. don’t judge me. and pete was honestly still pretty weird and pathetic, i wouldn’t have gone for it if i was her but EH. pete was doing ok with that real estate girl but he kinda botched it by being a workaholic, she had a short attention span it seemed.

what else? glen and betty was creepy and semi-sweet at the same time, as usual, with him all like “YOU’VE ALWAYS BEEN MY BITCH >:)” and betty like “:) no no :)” like not really that aggressive and probably totally down for it under different circumstances. anyway, i’m sure glen died at war, and poor sally! just got dumpstered on, that was the real shame. betty just fading off into cancer town. bobby never got to grow up. harry never got to have any character development either, just stayed terrible. ken kind of turned bitter? with his eyepatch, that reminded me of you too.

and then ol’ don. kind of upset that stephanie didn’t stick around and have a whole litter of his babies or whatever, and i was half expecting don to be swept back into that traveling bohemian millionaire genius group again. instead he ended up at a hippie retreat. was the implication that don wrote that hippie coke ad? for crummy mcann? i was kind of expecting him to die tbh. shrug, well good for him, i guess. bert ghost was sorta odd, i didn’t realize don even gave a shit about bert.

and joan had a sad ending too!! oh UGH i was SOOO upset when they introduced her old man “boyfriend” like in the last few episodes, i knew it as soon as i saw him. like oh great, here comes the last minute savior for joan right at the very end of the show, what a stupid cop out. glad he was muscled out at the last second by joan’s massive business dong. she has bigger fish to fry! and then she goes and asks preggy to be a partner with her, and preggy goes and says NAH at the very end. i was like, so what the hell happened to joan then? hopefully she just got to be a millionaire the rest of her life and moved to paris or something.

preggy and what’s his face romance was sort of contrived. and a long time coming. like good for you guys, eye roll, you young idiots. who else? i guess that was everyone important. oh, yeah, roger shacked up with megan’s mom, i don’t blame him, she was pretty hot. i love a bitchy woman. roger’s daughter kinda depressed me, on that stupid hedonism hippie commune. whatever. and yeah, megan became washed up just like you said. she basically like never even acted at all when she moved out the california, that whole thing was a huge mistake.

i guess that’s all for now! mad men wise. i’m at a loss for what to watch next. i think there was some show i told myself i was gonna have YOU watch, but i can’t remember what it was now. it might’ve been something you’ve already seen.

i do hope i hear from you again soon, and i’m not still writing stupid posts like this a month from now. but we’ll see. i really miss talking to you. if i don’t hear from you before the weekend, i think i might just keep your birthday present here with me, for fear of it getting lost out in the world. i don’t even know if you’re in miami right now. but there’s a lot of sentimental stuff in this box, and i’m putting a lot of effort into it, because like, the plan was for you to have an ENJOYABLE birthday for a change, right? like, i thought maybe i’d order you some wine and we could watch a move over the phone and just have a regular date night, not even think about birthday stuff. and you’d just have this big box of random little surprises that i’d have spoiled you with. and it would just be nice and not a headache.

i think you’ll be 31? sorry if the number makes you cringe. honestly the attitude you have towards aging really makes no sense to me. it must be a woman thing. like, i understand feeling like you’re not fulfilling your goals on a healthy timeline, but i feel that like, every ducking day, and i don’t think that’s what bothers you. i think you just don’t wanna feel and look old right?

i’ve said it a million times, but you’re so beautiful to me, and you will still be beautiful at 31. or 35, or 45, or 99. you have all these wonderful features right now that are so attractive, your big blue eyes, your tiny blushing nose, your incredible nefertiti neck, your scrappy scarecrow straw hair. your legs and thighs are so soft and luscious and warm, your butt is full and round and really cute, you’ve got bones that point and poke out at the shoulders and elbows and things that remind me how small your upper body is. your voice is still my favorite ever. and when you get older, you’re gonna still have a lot of these things, you know? they might be different, but they’ll still be beautiful and wonderful and You, and you’ll have brand NEW features too that’ll be just as endearing. i always think of like, creepy old men staring at old women licking their lips like “mm-mm she’s a looker,” and wondering, wow, i guess an old man’s tastes really change as he grows older too. or like, they just appreciate things more, or they know what beauty looks like even when it gets kinda wrinkly and gray.

plus, knowing you, you’re gonna keep things up as high as possible for a very long time. you’re not just gonna attract older men, you’ll have like, college guys trying to climb up and mount you when you’re 60 years old. you’re gonna have the air of like, a whorehouse madam, no longer in the game but still incredibly sexy and intelligent, with every single trick still up her sleeve and too much dignity to ever use them except in extreme circumstances. smarter than any man you’ve ever encountered, and always ready to swing the dagger. you’re going to be different flavors of beautiful every decade that passes by, and i never want you to feel like getting older is a detriment. biological clock bothering you? uh i’ll come knock you up right now if that’s an issue, i’m down for it

maybe things get out of hand at 6am, i’ve been up all night. gotta get ready for work in about 20-25 minutes. please be safe, please come back. i promise not to wait forever, but you’ll always be a part of me now.

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