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thanksfornothinguselessreptile · 5 years

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A Shifting World Chapter 9: A Reckless Rescue

First Chapter

<–Previous

Work Summary: Things have been going great since Hiccup and Toothless have defeated the Red Death. He has his father’s approval, a group of friends his own age, and is leading the integration of dragons and the Vikings of Berk. When neighboring tribes call together a meeting to discuss rumors of Vikings riding dragons, however, Stoick decides to keep their alliance with dragons under wraps. Hiccup must decide whether he should listen to his father or seek to teach the other Vikings of the archipelago the truths about dragons.

AO3

Rating: T

Characters: Hiccup, Toothless, Astrid, Stoick, Fishlegs, Ruffnut, Tuffnut, Snotlout

Pairings: Minor Hiccup x Astrid

Chapter Summary: More pieces of the puzzle are revealed in the process of a rescue mission.

Chapter Warnings: Death Mention, Murder Mention, Food Mention

Hiccup tried to keep calm as he treaded water. Nothing good came from panicking. Instead, he tried to run his mind through ways to escape.

The list was rather small.

Mostly it depended on someone else rescuing him. However, Toothless was out of sight, and by the time he reached where Hiccup was the ocean would’ve dragged him down. If their departure had woken up the ship and they began rowing in his direction, they’d hardly get there any sooner.

And the moment he was going to sink was getting closer. His clothes, his leg, they weighed him down, slowed his movements. And eventually, they would drag him down into the dark abyss where not even moonlight reached. His muscles were already struggling with the effort of keeping afloat. He was going to tire.

Well, at least I don’t have to explain to Dad why the Thunderdrum’s gone with our supplies. Hiccup really appreciated how his mind still had the opportunity to joke at his situation.

And that was when a blur of motion caught his attention from the top of his eye.

He forced his head to tilt up, and saw a dragon-shaped figure blot out the stars. And they were diving.

Diving toward him.

“This really isn’t my day.” The salt and exhaustion had made Hiccup’s mumble more into a rasp, but it wasn’t as if he had an audience to appreciate it.

The dragon came closer, diving so low their belly skimmed the water. With a mixture of both relief and exasperation, he recognized the silhouette as a Hideous Zippleback, complete with a rider for each head.

That was all he had time to absorb, because for the second time that night something knocked the wind out of him.

The impact must’ve done something to his memory, because next he knew he was scrabbling at a warm, moving, scaly surface that wrapped around his stomach and sides, trying not to fall.

Beyond the roar of the wind, a human voice caught his attention.

A familiar one.

“Oh, yeah! Another perfectly executed rescue, if I do say so myself.” That voice was unmistakably Tuffnut’s.

Ruffnut’s piped up in a snarl. “Only because I told Barf and Belch to fly lower!”

“Ah, ah, ah!” Tuffnut’s tone told into a mock scold. “Let us not quibble over specifics, my dear sister.”

“Oh, yes, let’s!” The sound of fighting rang out behind him, quickly followed by the sound of jaws filled with long, sharp teeth snapping at each other.

Of all the people to rescue me, it had to be them. Hiccup would’ve rolled his eyes if he hadn’t lost his grip at that moment. He panicked and managed to grab ahold of the dragon’s base of their neck again. However, one more near miss like that, and he’d be reintroduced to the ocean. And in this state, he doubted the twins or the Zippleback would even notice.

“Hey!” His voice came out as a weak rasp, and he forced himself to clear his throat and shout louder. “Hey!”

“Oh, yeah?” Ruffnut said, the sounds of fighting from all sides stopping immediately.

“Can we take this up later? I’m going to slip.” As Hiccup spoke he felt his fingers start to lose their grip.

“Oh, sure!” Ruffnut walked down Barf’s neck as casually as she might down a road on Berk to pull him back onto Barf and Belch’s torso.

Hiccup let himself catch his breath, staring up at the sky above. His arms and legs twitched and shuddered as cold wind barreled into his body and caught in his soaked clothes. “You guys really need to work on your rescue maneuvers.”

“I told you!” Ruffnut’s voice sounded like she was already back on her spot on Barf’s neck.

Hiccup could hear Tuffnut sniff above the roar of wind. “He was clearly pointing out your lack of skill.”

“Not to interrupt a charming sibling squabble,” Hiccup said, making his voice as loud as his aching ribcage allowed, “but why are you here?”

“Oh, that’s simple.” Ruffnut’s voice snapped from confrontational to almost jovial. “We decided that it so wasn’t fair of you all to go to the Thing and not us just because all your parents are going and not ours.”

“So we snuck after you!” Tuffnut sounded like he was giving Hiccup the best news he’d ever heard.

“Yeah, Toothless told us.” Hiccup paused for a moment to catch his breath. “But why are you so far away from the ship?”

“Everyone on the ship was sleeping. It was boring.” Tuffnut sounded so casual for a person who followed a ship when they weren’t supposed to. Then again, these were the twins. Doing stuff like this was kind of their thing.

“And then we happened to see you flying off on that Thunderdrum.” Ruffnut sounded way too excited over that plot development for Hiccup’s taste. “Now that, that was interesting.”

Hiccup sighed. “Well, I guess now I have to explain to Dad why I lost a dragon. Again.” He groaned as he remembered something else. “As well as some of our supplies.”

“Well, then have we got good news for you!” Ruffnut said. Hiccup looked up in time for her to point in a random direction. “Before we had to go rescue you, we saw it fly off that way.”

It felt like every muscle in his body jolted awake at the same time. He rocketed up, nearly falling off the dragon. “What?”

“Yeah, it was going in a different direction than where it was taking you.” Tuffnut had his arms crossed over his chest in pride. “Pretty sneaky. Sis, we have to take notes.”

“And you said he was flying?” Hiccup had expected him to swim the rest of the way to wherever he was going. However, it did kind of make sense; the Thunderdrum probably noticed the net that held them together was damaged and wouldn’t want to risk losing or damaging the supplies he carried.

Ruffnut nodded. “That’s what I said, so yeah!” She sounded annoyed at having to confirm this.

Okay, so perhaps this situation was salvageable.

“Okay, so first we go back and grab Toothless, and then we can follow him.” He wondered if he’d have to prompt them to listen with tales of the Thunderdrum’s abilities, but the twins didn’t seem to be in the mood to skip what could be a cool adventure.

It didn’t take long for Barf and Belch to spot Toothless, still swimming in the ocean. Fortunately, they actually used their claws to pick the Night Fury from the water rather than repeat Hiccup’s rescue.

“Toothless, you okay?” Hiccup tried to lean over Barf’s shoulder to check on him, but the wind nearly knocked him off the dragon, forcing him to retake his seat.

“Yes!” Toothless sounded happy for a dragon who’d just been picked out of the ocean like a fish. Hiccup wondered if he’d heard his scream but knew he was too far away to help.

Anyways, Hiccup caught him up on what happened. When he got to where the Thunderdrum had abandoned him, Toothless gave a snarl that even the wind couldn’t tear away.

“Remember, bud, this Thunderdrum needs help.” Hiccup hoped his voice would calm his friend. “We don’t attack unless in self-defense.”

“Yes.” Toothless’s reply was sharp and curt, but Hiccup figured that he would listen and not seek revenge.

With Toothless in their claws, Barf and Belch were flying more slowly, despite the speed and strength with which their wings now beat. Hiccup was sure, at this rate, they wouldn’t be back before someone noticed their absence.

But that didn’t matter now, right? Whether it would get them in trouble or not, that Thunderdrum needed help, even if he wouldn’t admit it. They’d just have to keep flying and hope the consequences weren’t that severe.

“Sorry, Dad,” he whispered anyways. He could already hear the lecture he was going to earn when they returned. He just had to hope Stoick would understand.

They heard the roars before Barf and Belch spotted the island.

“What’s going on?” Hiccup leaned as far over Barf’s shoulder as he could, trying to see around his head and rider. However, he couldn’t see anything that far away, especially not in the dark.

Belch hissed something. Hiccup recognized the sounds for “Viking” and “ships” but nothing else.

“Viking ships are hunting the dragon.” Toothless’s snarl ended in a snap of his jaws.

“What?” Hiccup chanced leaning a little further. However far he leaned, though, the island was still wrapped in the distant darkness.

“What’s going on?” Ruffnut had turned back to stare at him.

“There are Viking ships attacking the Thunderdrum.” Hiccup forced himself back onto the center of the dragon’s back, just ahead of the wings.

“What kinds? How many?” Tuffnut turned around also.

“What formation? How much food?” Ruffnut paused as Tuffnut turned and raised an eyebrow at her. “Those are good questions too!”

“I don’t know.” He and Toothless hadn’t gotten to numbers yet. But, maybe, they’d be able to find some way to communicate that anyways. He leaned over. “How many ships are there?”

Toothless made a thoughtful rumbling sound, as if humming in thought, before snorting three times. Okay, so three ships. No big deal, right? But when Hiccup asked if he recognized the ships, he made an uncertain sound. Hiccup sat back up and told Ruffnut and Tuffnut what he’d learned.

“An unknown tribe? Well, that’s helpful!” Ruffnut rolled her eyes and turned around.

“You forgot: we love surprises!” Tuffnut leaned forward, grasping Belch’s horns with a newfound excitement. “Bet you Belch and I can beat you there!”

“No way!” Ruffnut twisted around and mirrored his pose on Barf. “Barf can fly circles around you and Belch!”

“Guys, same dragon!” Hiccup shouted as he got a better grip on Barf and Belch’s spines.

From the cackling ahead, Hiccup came to the conclusion that both had just been winding him up. He sighed and told himself to try and avoid encouraging them in the future.

He knew it’d be a near-impossible task.

Somehow, Barf and Belch managed to pick up just a little more speed, their heads perking up. Soon enough, the island came into view. It started as just a spot on the horizon that didn’t shimmer with reflected moonlight, but quickly grew until Hiccup could see more details if he squinted.

They were approaching a small harbor on the shore of the island, a stony beach surrounded by sheer cliffs. In its entrance floated three shapes that resembled Viking ships, but with an unusual silhouette. They looked too pointy to be from any tribe that Hiccup was familiar with.

And flying between these ships and the island was a still-smaller dot. As small as the dot was, his roar carried over to them loud and clear. Every so often, the Thunderdrum would make a swoop toward the ships. A catapult or bola would fly toward him, forcing him to swerve and break off the attack. Still, he wouldn’t retreat.

If Hiccup was right about the Thunderdrum protecting sick or injured dragons, there was no wonder he wouldn’t just escape while he could.

“We need to get over there and help him!” Even as he said it, he felt his mind race. They were flying into battle with Vikings prepared to fight dragons. They were just three humans with two dragons, one of whom couldn’t fly, the other probably tired from carrying all of them over open ocean without a break.

Things weren’t looking promising.

Just then, Toothless roared something. Hiccup tried to listen to him, but most of the words he didn’t understand. It was something about flying, and land, and fire.

Barf and Belch burbled something in response. Hiccup nearly jumped when their back sloped to the left. They were veering to the side of the harbor, away from where they were needed.

“Hey, where are you going?” Tuffnut asked, leaning toward the battle. He gave Ruffnut a narrow-eyed glare and jutted out his jaw as if in accusation.

“No, where are you going?” Ruffnut jabbed a finger at Tuffnut’s nose. “We need to fly straight in there, not go hide!”

“I’m not doing anything, so it has to be you!” Tuffnut punched Ruffnut’s shoulder, and nearly fell off Belch when she returned the favor.

“Guys, this isn’t either of you!” And it wasn’t the time to argue about it. “I think Toothless told them to do this!”

“Where are we going?” Ruffnut stopped fighting for a moment to stare at the island they were now flying over.

“I have no idea.” Hiccup leaned over, trying to see something in the forest had caught Toothless’s eye.

Instead, he saw Toothless dropping toward the trees, wings open to slow his fall.

“Toothless!” Hiccup’s shout did nothing; the Night Fury didn’t even look back as he disappeared beneath the branches. Barf and Belch turned and picked up their pace, back toward the battle.

“Why’d Toothless abandon us?” Tuffnut sounded a lot more uncertain than Hiccup had ever heard him. “The battle’s not going that bad, is it?”

Hiccup forced himself to sit back on Barf and Belch’s shoulders. “I don’t know. But he must have a plan, and we need to trust him.” He knew that Toothless wouldn’t do that if it wasn’t necessary. He took a breath. “Okay, we need to get over there and help the Thunderdrum stop those Vikings.” And hope that he’ll accept our help.

“Okay.” Tuffnut leaned out over Belch’s neck. “See you, Toothless!”

“See you! Wouldn’t want to be you!” And with that, the forest dropped away from beneath the Zippleback, replaced by the beach.

As Barf and Belch flew lower and approached the ships, Hiccup squinted toward them. Even in the dark, he could tell the sails were blank; white cloth showed well at night. But while they looked like the typical Viking ship with dragon skulls on the stemposts and spikes on the hulls, he couldn’t place their allegiance.

“No idea who those ships belong to,” Hiccup said as he grabbed tighter onto the Zippleback’s spine. “But we can’t let them trap that dragon.”

Ruffnut cast a mischievous smile at both Hiccup and her brother. “Aw, what’s the big deal? Whatever their tribe, we can take them easily!”

As Barf and Belch drew near, Hiccup heard a trapper shout, “Fire!” Seconds later, Hiccup felt the wind of a thrown net brush his cheek, even as Barf and Belch swerved to the side, breaking off their advance.

“You were saying?” he asked as he rubbed at his cheek. That had been too close.

Tuffnut punched the air. “It’s going to take a lot more than nets to take us, you cowards!”

“Yeah!” Ruffnut leaned over toward the ships and nodded. “You’ll never take us alive!”

Well, Hiccup hadn’t been thinking of retreating when there were dragons in need, but now he really needed to come up with a plan, and fast.

And hope whatever Toothless was doing would pan out.

But first, they really needed to stop the ships from reaching the shore. They were already almost there.

“All right, we need to slow those ships down, but we can’t get too close, or they’ll net us.” Hiccup glanced off of Belch’s wing. The ships were relatively close together, as the harbor wasn’t that big. “Barf, Belch, can you create a wall of gas without lighting it?” No Viking worth their salt would sail straight into a wall of flammable gas while riding a wooden boat. Even if they weren’t blown up, they’d still risk holing their ship in the relatively shallow waters thanks to the low vision.

“Yes,” Barf and Belch gurgled in unison. They pulled into a tight spiral down to the ocean, creating a line of sulfurous gas across the water. A couple quick wingbeats and a tight spin later, and they were adding another layer to the thick, green wall. It was a tricky maneuver; they had to maintain a level glide to avoid dispersing the previous wall with any wingbeats, breathing out the gas far enough away from the first layer to maximize the amount of area they could cover without leaving any clearer areas for the ships to use. On top of all this, they had to do this with Barf’s head constantly lowered to avoid getting any of his and Belch’s riders with the gas, which could knock a human out if they breathed in too much.

Once the third layer drifted into place, Barf and Belch glided away. Hiccup frowned and watched the Outcasts as they neared the fogbank. Thankfully, they were furling the sails and dropping their anchors to keep away from the noxious and potentially explosive cloud. However, while the night wasn’t windy, eventually the cloud would thin. And once it did, the trappers would be able to sail through it safely without needing to fear crashing or exploding.

But it turned it they didn’t need to wait that long.

A bellow in Hiccup’s ear made him turn around, just in time to see the Thunderdrum dive into the water.

“Oh, no.” And a glimmer in the corner of his eye drew his attention to something worse. The trappers on the ships were pulling out metal poles taller than their wielders, each side ending in a wicked hook.

“This ain’t going to be pretty.” Ruffnut must’ve spotted the same thing he had. “What do you say about blowing stuff up now?”

Hiccup nodded; they had no choice left. “If you can without hurting the dragon.”

As Barf and Belch spun around, diving toward the wall of gas, a muffled roar drew Hiccup’s attention to the ship in the back left of the loose formation. As he watched, the back half of the ship started to splinter. The trappers on board screamed and clutched at ropes, intact wood, each other, whatever they could grab. It wasn’t enough to save everyone on board.

But even with the destruction of that ship, many of the Vikings were preparing to spear the dragon when they next came around.

That was all Hiccup could see before he heard a scraping sound, followed by a loud explosion and burst of light. The wind in heat boosted them up higher, and when Hiccup’s eyes readjusted he saw a large fogbank where the gas had once floated. The displaced water shoved the remaining boats toward the mouth of the harbor, as well as dispersed the wreckage of the third. It threw the trappers off so that the Thunderdrum could swim off unharmed, but unfortunately he looked like he was going to make another pass.

And then a flash of purple darted out from the trees. Next thing Hiccup knew, the sails of the ship on the left were burning. Several trappers had to abandon the sides of the ship to douse them. Even from the distance they were flying at, Hiccup could hear the trappers shout, “Get down!”

“Oh, now he shows up!” Ruffnut said as Barf and Belch passed over the ships and turned around to face them again.

“Well, he’s fifteen minutes late to the party!” Tuffnut tsked as Barf created another line of gas over the water, closer to the ships. “And he didn’t bring dessert!”

Another bolt of purple flame rushed out of the forest, this time striking the same ship on a piece of hull underneath the waterline. From that far away, the blast didn’t have enough strength to hole it, but it shoved it toward the ship on its right, and away from the wreckage of the third ship. Many of the survivors had dropped their weapons and were swimming toward the other ships.

And then Hiccup saw the Thunderdrum swimming toward them.

As much as Hiccup didn’t like dragon trappers, these ones couldn’t fight back.

“Hey, guys, stop him!” Hiccup patted Barf and Belch’s back to get their attention and then gestured in the other dragon’s attention.

Barf and Belch glanced at each other, then gurgled and dove.

“Wait, why are we trying to stop him from killing the dragon trappers again?” Ruffnut scratched at her helmet. “Did I miss something?”

“They can’t fight back.” Hiccup wanted them to leave the Thunderdrum alone, but he wanted to drive them away, not kill them.

For a few seconds, Hiccup wondered if Barf and Belch were going to miss the Thunderdrum. If they did, there’d be no second chance. But then a rush of water splashed around Barf and Belch’s sides, and their wings lurched as they grabbed onto him. Hiccup couldn’t see how exactly they’d latched onto the other dragon, but they were now holding him back. Although, from how Barf and Belch kept lurching sideways toward the wrecked ship, he wasn’t sure how long they’d be able to keep hold of him.

Just as this occurred to him, a shout rose up from the trapper ships. Hiccup glanced up to see oars lowered over the ships sides. His stomach clenched for a second, but then he realized they weren’t heading deeper into the harbor.

They were leaving.

Toothless had continued his attack on the ships, his blasts buffeting them around, starting fires, creating steam that rose from the water as thick as smoke. And from the shout of, “Night Furies” rising from the trappers’ ships, the chaos and poor visibility had made the trappers think that there were more than one attacking them.

Under those circumstances, Hiccup supposed even the most reckless Vikings might be tempted to cut their losses.

“Cowards!” Ruffnut shouted, cupping her hands around her mouth to be as loud as possible.

“You heard her!” Tuffnut pointed at his sister. “Come back and fight like real Vikings!”

Hiccup winced. Now there was no way to deny that there were riders with the dragons. Hopefully these trappers weren’t in league with any of the tribes present at the Thing.

As the ships turned around, half-drowned trappers still clinging to their spikes in a desperate bid to climb aboard, Hiccup concentrated on the fact that the Thunderdrum still wasn’t stopping his attempts to destroy the ships.

“Barf! Belch!” The dragon heads didn’t look back at him, but he was sure he’d gotten their attention anyways. “Can you tell him not to go after them? We won!”

Barf gurgled toward the Thunderdrum. Hiccup didn’t understand a single word, but he could tell he was taking a long time to say whatever it was.

A curt, “No!” came from underwater.

Belch joined in, with a similarly lengthy and unintelligible response.

For several minutes, Barf and Belch continued talking, with the Thunderdrum continuing to snap at them as he continued trying to get at the ships. While he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon, Hiccup could tell by how much more frequently the Zippleback’s wings faltered and they lost ground that they couldn’t keep this up forever. Eventually, the Thunderdrum would break their hold. And when that happened, he could easily overtake a couple battered ships.

Just when Hiccup resigned himself to the fact that, despite how hard they tried, they couldn’t stop a mass amount of deaths, Barf and Belch seemed to stop moving sideways as fast. The Thunderdrum’s replies grew less and less spirited, until, finally, he stopped.

Barf and Belch tentatively let go. A few sloppy wingbeats managed to save them from a stall and plunge into the ocean, and they began to climb toward the sky, up near the lip of the surrounding cliffs.

Hiccup squinted into the trees. While he was sure that Toothless was in that forest, though, he couldn’t see him any better than if he was flying in the night sky. He raised a hand to gesture that all was clear anyways, just in case.

With that, Barf and Belch glided toward the pebbly shore at the far end of the harbor. Hiccup could tell, by how heavily they set down, that everything they’d been doing that night had taken a lot out of them. They definitely had to stop and rest before returning to the ship. He cast a quick glance at the moon. It was rather low in the sky, which meant that by the time the Zippleback had enough strength to carry everyone back to the ship dawn would have broken, and their disappearance revealed.

Stoick was not going to like this.

Shortly after Barf and Belch landed, the Thunderdrum swam up to them, crawling on shore with the waves. His eyes were narrowed and his teeth partly bared, but he didn’t seem about to attack. Hiccup had had enough fights tonight to last a while, thank you very much.

“He’s staring at us.” Tuffnut had leaned back to whisper to Hiccup, as if he wasn’t aware that the Thunderdrum could probably still hear him.

“I know.” Hiccup made sure to speak at a normal volume; he was sure the Thunderdrum would be upset if he continued to act like he couldn’t hear them when they were all right there.

“Is that good or bad?” Ruffnut was staring back at the Thunderdrum, but with such exaggeratedly large eyes Hiccup was sure he wouldn’t take her seriously.

He shrugged. “I don’t know.” The best they could do was wait for Toothless to come and help interpret.

Before Hiccup could wonder when his friend would be arriving, the Thunderdrum’s eyes widened. He snapped something, and Hiccup winced, waiting for the dragon to attack.

But then Barf and Belch swiveled their heads around to face behind them, and Hiccup realized that he hadn’t been looking at them.

Hiccup turned around. Out of a shallow, hardly visible cave in the cliff walls, a draconic shape emerged. A second Thunderdrum, about the same size as the one they were familiar with. But while their species was the same, they looked quite different. Their Thunderdrum was a dark ocean-blue, while this was a purple you might see in an evening sky. And while both had two ribbed wings, like most dragons, the purple Thunderdrum had a gaping hole in his left one.

Hiccup winced, and he could feel Barf and Belch rumbling in pained sympathy.

The blue Thunderdrum grumbled at the purple one. He sounded scolding, as if talking to a hatchling rather than a dragon around his own age. The purple one rumbled back, and while he stopped advancing he didn’t return to his hiding space.

“Uh, I’m guessing that this is his family?” Ruffnut asked as she squinted at the dragon. “Kind of smaller than I thought it would be.”

But while the two Thunderdrums continued their back and forth, no more came out from hiding. Perhaps they were still laying low, or somewhere else?

The cynical part of Hiccup told him it was probably darker than that. He pushed it aside and told it that there was no way to know for certain until Toothless came to translate.

And a few minutes later, he did. Toothless wasted no time searching for a safe path down the cliff; instead, he leaped off the cliff, wings spread to slow his fall in a not-quite-glide. Hiccup winced as one of his legs slid on the rocky shore, but he showed no signs of injury as he trotted up to Hiccup.

“Hello,” he said, his eyes bright and ears perked up. He looked like he was bursting with energy, despite everything.

“You took your time.” Tuffnut crossed his arms and looked away, jaw jutting in an exaggerated scowl.

Toothless narrowed his eyes and snorted at him, smoke curling from his nostrils.

Hiccup laughed. “Glad you’re okay, bud.”

Toothless looked back to him, his mouth open in a large smile. “You, too.”

Hiccup smiled and slid off Barf and Belch’s back. If the Thunderdrums noticed, they were too busy arguing amongst each other to say anything. From the sounds of clattering rocks to Hiccup’s side, he could guess Ruffnut and Tuffnut were following his lead.

Hiccup tried to listen in on what the dragons were saying. Try as he might, though, he couldn’t get the gist of the conversation. Once or twice Hiccup thought he heard them talking about humans, but he wasn’t quite sure. Even if he could confirm that for sure, he had no idea about what humans they were discussing. Them? The Berkians on the ship? The dragon trappers? All three?

But it didn’t look like any of them planned on stopping their discussion anytime soon. Which meant that Hiccup had to step in.

“Ready to translate?” Hiccup glanced between the Thunderdrums and Toothless before he took a deep breath. Beside him, Toothless did the same. Hiccup could feel himself tense with nervousness, but he forced out an, “Excuse me for a minute,” anyways.

When Toothless translated it with a sound that was like clearing a throat, both dragons fixed their gazes on him. The blue Thunderdrum’s was narrowed, and while not hostile he still looked suspicious. The purple one’s were wider and softer, curious.

Hiccup shifted his weight from foot to foot and tried not to look too nervous under the dragons’ stares. “Right. Uh, I’m glad you’re both okay.” He paused to let Toothless translate as well as formulate his next sentence. He wanted something a bit better than, “Glad we didn’t all die in a burst of flame.”

The blue Thunderdrum said something in a low, deep growl, his eyes never leaving Hiccup’s.

Toothless turned back to Hiccup. “Why didn’t you let him fire on ship?”

Hiccup thought of how to phrase it. “It was wrong to kill them while they were fleeing. They’d stopped trying to hurt us, and it just wouldn’t be fair.”

Toothless translated. The blue Thunderdrum huffed, his fangs still bared. The purple one just looked thoughtful.

The blue Thunderdrum snarled something else, and Toothless translated. “The humans will come. They will fire again.”

Hiccup could see his point. If the Thunderdrum had killed the surviving trappers, perhaps they’d be safe on the island.

But then again, perhaps these trappers had allies who knew where they’d gone and what they were doing. If they hadn’t returned, then they could come anyways, seeking vengeance instead of capture.

Hiccup had Toothless relate that, then added, “Is there any possible way you and your pod can move? At least until this all blows over.”

The blue Thunderdrum snorted and growled something for Toothless to translate. “I can carry the dragon. But the dragon can’t fly, can’t swim well. The humans will follow.”

From the sounds of it, these two were the only Thunderdrums, as Hiccup had suspected. Which made the blue Thunderdrum ditching him make more sense. They were two kids like him, looking out for each other. And if the blue Thunderdrum distrusted humans, then he wouldn’t want to reveal where he and his only surviving friend lived. Especially if he couldn’t fly or swim to safety.

Hiccup took a deep breath and focused on his next step of action. It could either go really well, or really bad. He couldn’t see any in-between. “If you wish, there’s always a place on Berk. Our island. We’ve made peace with the dragons, and you’ll be safe there.”

As expected, the blue Thunderdrum bared his fangs and opened his mouth to reply. But then the purple one spoke up, his voice quieter than the blue one’s.

Hiccup waited for Toothless to translate, but instead he said something to the other dragon. When the purple Thunderdrum responded, looking confused, Toothless curled his tail around and extended his tailfin. Even in the dark, the gaping hole on the left side of his tailtip stood out like a broken tooth.

Hiccup couldn’t help but wince. Because of him, Toothless couldn’t fly on his own. Because of him, he’d nearly died on the ground, cut off from the sky, a fate unthinkable to him even a few months after tasting flight for the first time.

Before Hiccup could properly push his emotions to the side, Toothless nodded at him. He blinked, suddenly aware that the purple Thunderdrum was looking at him with hope in his eyes.

“Uh, what are they saying?” Hiccup became aware that Ruffnut and Tuffnut were now leaning over to him, trying to figure out everything.

“I think Toothless just suggested I found a way to help the purple Thunderdrum fly and swim again.” A bit of a daunting task, given that Toothless was the only dragon he had experience with that with, and even then he hadn’t figured out a way for him to fly alone.

But then again, he always did like a challenge. And if he found some way to help this dragon fly without assistance, maybe he could do the same with Toothless.

The two Thunderdrums drew away and spoke with each other. The blue dragon spoke in harsh growls, but slowly his temper changed from angry to resigned. Hiccup couldn’t miss how his gaze lingered on the other one’s injured wing.

Finally, the blue Thunderdrum stepped up. “Yes.” They then added something that Hiccup couldn’t understand, and Toothless translated. “We rest, then we go to ship. When the ship goes to your island, we rest there ----- you ---- his wing, then we go back here.”

Well, at least that was something. Hiccup nodded. “Thank you.” Even though he knew Toothless would translate it, he made sure that his relief was present in his voice.

The blue Thunderdrum didn’t seem at all moved, even though his friend seemed happy. He said one last thing, which Toothless translated. “We leave after sunrise.”

Hiccup nodded, even as he tried to hide his wince. His dad was definitely not going to be happy about this.

Next–>

#useless reptile writes #httyd fanfiction #httyd #hiccup #ruffnut #tuffnut #thorston twins #barf #belch #barf and belch #toothless #thornado #whirlwing #death mention cw #murder mention cw #food mention cw #caps cw

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eknowledgetree2015 · 4 years

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How to Be Successful in Dropshipping Business In 2020

Gone are the days when you can set up an online store and start raking in millions of dollars with little effort. Today, technologies are evolving; choosing products is becoming a nerve-racking decision with hundreds of competitors springing up every day. Questions like “Is dropshipping dead”, “is dropshipping still profitable in 2020?” and many more dominate Google search box. Thus, all these concerns have motivated us to come with a comprehensive article that will address all your inquiries and show you how to build a successful and profitable eCommerce business, particularly drop shipping in 2020.

What does it take to run an e-commerce business?

Before we dig deeper, let’s briefly examine some of the critical attributes that you must possess to be successful at e-commerce business: Hunger for Top-Notch Information You probably land here because you are searching for value-driven information that will help you scale through the hurdles of running a successful e-commerce business. Like every business, having access to the right information can give you an edge over your competitors and also expose you to tricks and tips of dropshipping business. You must be willing to go extra miles in seeking industry knowledge, and one of the best ways to achieve this is by regularly checking our website. Mastery of Planning Effective Businesses Strategies Until you give your e-commerce business the same attention you would accord a brick and mortar store, you will continue to run at a loss. Although most activities involving e-commerce business can be run remotely, nevertheless, you must be versatile with the planning and execution of effective business strategies. Undeviating Focus on Growth If you are satisfied with little success, sorry to burst your bubbles, e-commerce or dropshipping business is not for you. Your goal as a drop shipper is to improve on your current sales, increase your brand awareness and optimize your customer experience by consistently focusing on growth. You must be willing to promote your business even when it seems you have reached your peak. It can always be better! Also, if you are looking to build a career in e-commerce business or you have a knack for brand sales, profits, inventories, products sales, and logistic, then you already have what it takes to work in the dropshipping business successfully.

Understanding the basic of e-commerce business

E-commerce is a term for buying and selling products and monetary transactions electronically. Dropshipping, on the other hand, is when you perform transactions through a vendor or a supplier and have the products shipped directly to the seller. As a drop shipper, you don’t keep the product you sell in stock like physical stores. The sole aim of a drop shipping transaction is financial profit. No human invests his time, energy, and money in dropshipping just for the fun of conversations or the pleasure of placing and delivering orders. Thus, dropshipping is profit personified. If you are barely staying afloat or struggling to meet up with the overhead cost, you might need to change your strategies with the information we have embedded in this article. Coupled with this, it is pertinent to state drop shipping is the premier of e-commerce. When e-commerce is mentioned, dropshipping is prevalent. When drop shipping is practised, e-commerce ensues.

What is dropshipping business, and how does it work?

Pragmatically, dropshipping is a supply chain that involves the buyer, the retailer (middle man), and the manufacturer. The principal transactions occur within the conversations that transpire between the retailer and buyer. To make it more transparent, in dropshipping, the retailer puts up a product for sale (without necessarily withholding the product or merchandise). The buyer communicates with the retailer, who (on buyer’s demand) expresses the needs to the manufacturer, who, in turn, delivers directly to the buyer. A percentage of the earning will be awarded to the retailer, who decides how much profit to make in dropshipping. For instance, when a product is bought from the manufacturer for $100, the retailer can choose to sell to the buyer at a rate of $150, leaving him with a $50 profit.

How to start a dropshipping business

Surging questions on how to start a drop-shipping business are not one that is new to many. However, here are the proven tactics for starting a dropshipping business.

Set up a store

To gain knowledge on how to start a dropshipping business, or opting into the market place, one has first to create and set up a store. You can decide to leverage dropshipping platforms such as Shopify, AliExpress, Amazon, Etsy and many more. After that, you can install dropship plugins like Oberlo, Spocket, Modalyst, ProductPro and several others. These dropshipping apps will help you to manage your product inventories effectively. Not only that, they have juicy features that can offer you the necessary support to run a dropshipping business successfully.

Select the right product

Searching and adding niche products for sale entails finding what is making waves in the market. This is a critical decision to make because the choice of your product will make or mar your success in dropshipping. One of the best platforms to leverage when it comes to selecting hot-selling products is FindNiche. It’s a massive market base for trending and popular products that will optimize your sales and boost your return on investment. Also, it helps you to see the highs and lows of market places with 3D glasses. The niche offers information on imminent surveys on what to capitalize on, and what products are optimally demanded.

Choose trusted suppliers

The vendor you choose to partner with has a critical role to play in the success of your dropshipping business. Some suppliers are habitually frustrating. They promise heaven and deliver hell. You have to do your assignment in researching suppliers that you can trust 100% throughout all the stages of your transactions.

Focus on running an effective ad

Unless you have one of its kind never-seen-before product, there’s a chance that hundreds of sellers have eyes on the same product. Waiting for organic traffic can delay your earnings and frustrate you out of dropshipping business. However, one of the best ways to gain the upper hand on your competitors is to leverage social media advertising. The first thing is to Identify the destination for most subscriber traffic. Social media platforms, especially Facebook being veritably the most visited social media platform in the world. Adopting the use of Facebook is not a mediocre suggestion. This is not to dissuade your use of other social media platforms like Instagram, Twitter, or just shopping apps. However, running Facebook ads, particularly with a platform like BigSpy, provides an open floor for your product’s visibility. It helps with daily discoveries of new ideas or niches, as well as using it for big intuitive ads database with continuous insights into Millions of ads.

Practice good market strategies

The number one strategy for success in dropshipping business is hard work. There is no success without hard work, especially when it’s smart. Tirelessly putting your products out there is vital. You can try out AdsReport to help track and create ads. In addition to your brand’s ingenuity, step up your game. Also, you should refrain from using existing internet themes and replace them with realistic photos taken by you. That way, your customers are aware of the authenticity and at least have a knowledge that these pictures aren’t too perfect to be true. Ever heard about the disparity in the phrase “what I ordered vs what I received?” Customers are disillusioned when products delivered do not meet their earlier expectations. What would it be like to be disappointed by a product? You sure wouldn’t patronize such retailers if it were you. Do not make yourself dormant. Consistent uploads gain buyer attention to products.

Optimize your brand uniqueness

Whether you are aware or not, hundreds of people into dropshipping. However, learning how to stand your brand out is vital. Constant reviews, on your social media platforms. Presentations, basically creating BlogSpot pieces to give effective reviews and comparisons on products. Be informative on your product. Make comparisons between products with different brands who serve everyday purposes. Ask customers for reviews on product use. Screengrab and save customer replies and post your products satisfactions. That way, you get referrals from people who had a delighted customer/ product review with your brand. Consistency is key.

Skillfully manoeuvre between niches

You must learn how to market specific products at the right time. Identify when a product becomes a bestseller, and sell products in high demand. Be bold enough to navigate and explore! “I am loyal to my manufacturer”, “I love selling kitchen utensils” I already have customers”. If you want to boom excellently in dropshipping business, you might want to try out a couple of niches. I don’t think trying a couple of niches would hurt. It just entails you create a well-balanced time for each demand. If you enjoyed sale profits and traffic in a niche market today, that product might be out of trend tomorrow. This might create some setbacks. However, you must brace yourself against any unfavourable market occurrence as they would show up at some point in your career. But being oblivious of how to handle setbacks isn’t very healthy. That is why you should be ready to switch the market at any time. If a particular one of your manufacturer’s product is gaining lots of condemnation around, you might want to give feedback to the manufacturer. Be ready to dump it if the problem persists!

Strategically leverage Social Media platforms

All social media platforms provide maximal exposure, including Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, and others. If you are new to dropshipping or you aren’t financially buoyant, while paid ads can help accentuate your brand instantaneously, you might want to rely on yourself at this time of your shallow pocket. Regularly posting pictures and doing reviews is what was mentioned earlier in this article. However, posting regularly without using social media features like Location, #trending, Social media hashtags, social media “what’s on your mind”, is like a licking bucket. How do you want to get results if you do not add hashtags? How do you want to post if you do not know use trends out there? A person goes randomly on twitter or Instagram and wants to purchase the newest drone model. Be on the knowledge that a product’s visibility rests on appropriate hashtag and search results. In addition to this, survey when internet users are most active online, especially evenings and night times at the close of work. Posting ads and products at times when individuals aren’t online might just linger. Predicting when there’s more social media usage is one smart step forward to a product’s visibility.

The follow-up to goods are delivered

Remember that you, as a drop shipper are a middle man. Do not communicate your order with your manufacturer or wholesaler, and feel like you have finished right there. You are the only visible seller to the buyer, and only you can track goods till they get to the buyer. Promptly following up on goods and their arrival dates are crucial to your brand’s reputation. This is to say that when orders are placed, do not just leave them till whenever. Continuously track them till they have been delivered. Do not make unrealistic promises of a product’s arrival, when truthfully you wouldn’t get it delivered in a month. A couple of sellers had had to lie solely for profits, even when they were aware of the unavailability of such product within a short time. State clearly when a product’s arrival is scheduled. If you have time between 3-4weeks, you might want to communicate the arrival at a later period of the fourth week. The client doesn’t expect too much, and that way, he expects the product at a later time. It’s more thoughtful to have a customer caught unawares at an earlier time than seem pensive collecting it at a late hour. If you think delivery doesn’t do well with customer satisfaction, try asking the masses. It is a major-league of drop shipping as referrals are borne off customer satisfaction.

Know the reason for the season

Be logical; certain weather conditions provide tales of what to sell. Selling an Adidas winter jacket in burning summer weather is little to no orders. People want to buy things that suit atmospheres, weathers and situations. Also, marketing a pair of winter jacket to Africans is most likely to be unyielding. If it’s anything, Africans, markedly West Africans, can seldom buy a pair of winter jackets, because it is hardly cold in their countries. Africans might like very fashionable and revealing T-shirts, dresses and merch. You might want to consider that. Christmas costumes, Christmas lights, Halloween costumes or even thanksgiving outfits have different seasons.

Conclusion

Achieving maximum success in dropshipping business might be challenging, but it’s never a rocket science. As long as you are willing to implement the concepts and ideas in this article, I can assure you that you are sure of success. Remember, you can always count on BigSpy for advertising your products to optimize sales across multiple platforms. Read the full article

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israel-jewish-news · 6 years

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FOCUS: After Defeating Gary Cohn, Peter Navarro Is On The Rise Again

New Post has been published on http://hamodia.com/2018/03/08/focus-defeating-gary-cohn-peter-navarro-rise/

FOCUS: After Defeating Gary Cohn, Peter Navarro Is On The Rise Again

National Trade Council adviser Peter Navarro at the White House. (AP Photo/Andrew Harnik, File)

President Donald Trump’s nationalist trade adviser Peter Navarro has staged a startling comeback.

Last year he nearly disappeared from view when his small operation was subsumed under the White House’s National Economic Council, which was headed by his rival, Gary Cohn, the free-trader who was president of Goldman Sachs. Now Cohn’s on his way out while the steel and aluminum tariffs that Navarro advocates are on the verge of becoming national policy.

And he might even take over Cohn’s job. It “absolutely” could happen, said Harry Kazianis, a friend of Navarro who is director of defense studies at the Center for the National Interest. “Trump’s going to look to Peter and say, ‘I know this guy. I can trust him.'”

One factor behind Navarro’s surprising resurrection is that Trump has taken renewed interest this year in trade and national security — Navarro’s issues — after having focused in 2017 on health care and tax cuts. The second factor is that Navarro is as relentless as a honey badger. He’s been in front of tv cameras repeatedly over the past week championing the tariffs. Trump plans to sign a proclamation over the tariffs Thursday.

After losing to Cohn in the White House turf wars, someone else might have packed up and gone home to California. Instead, Navarro kept working the issues and building the case for stronger action. Even now he’s not letting up, according to Michael Wessel, a steelworkers representative who speaks with him regularly.

“He is certainly excited about where he is and what’s going on because he has worked a long time to get here,” said Wessel. “But he’s running at warp speed and probably doesn’t have much time to think about it.”

Free-traders are elbowing one another aside to express their dismay about Navarro’s ascendancy — and Navarro welcomes their disdain. Although he holds a Ph.D. in economics from Harvard and taught the subject at the University of California-Irvine Paul Merage School of Business, Navarro accuses his fellow economists of blindly adhering to free-trade principles at the expense of national security.

“The president said very clearly that we can’t have a country without steel and aluminum industries, and I totally agree with him,” Navarro told Bloomberg on March 7. Echoing Trump, he added, “All the countries that trade with us are getting the better part of the deal.” He also said he is not on the list of candidates to replace Cohn.

Today’s Navarro has a monkish demeanor. He’s wiry, almost gaunt. Running shoes by the door of his office attests to his habit of running to work. He works such long hours that he stifled a laugh when a Bloomberg interviewer asked him about his “day” job. His closest administration ally is Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross, a fellow trade nationalist.

Navarro’s not-so-secret weapon in the White House turf wars is that he has a lot in common with the president. They’re about the same age: Navarro is 68 and Trump 71. Also, neither backs down from a fight. “Peter has always been a contrarian, someone who’s never been afraid to defend his views vociferously,” said Scott Paul, president of the Alliance for American Manufacturing.

Most important, both Navarro and Trump are former Democrats who feel no compunction to stick to Republican orthodoxy on trade. Navarro was actually kind of a liberal once. He served in the Peace Corps, surfed, and later campaigned against uncontrolled real-estate development in the race for mayor of San Diego in 1992 — ironic now that he’s working for the world’s most famous developer. One poster for his 1996 congressional race read: “Peter Navarro. The Democrat Newt Gingrich fears most!”

Speaking to Bloomberg on March 7, Navarro heaped praise on his boss and described his own role as that of an enabler.

“This is the president’s vision. My function, really, as an economist is to try to provide the underlying analytics that confirm his intuition. And his intuition is always right in these matters,” Navarro said. He compared the White House to a successful football team. “The owner, the coach and the quarterback are all the president. The rest of us are all interchangeable parts.”

The interchangeable part labeled Peter Navarro got off to a strong start last year when Trump pulled the U.S. out of negotiations on the 12-nation Trans-Pacific Partnership trade deal, one of his first acts in office. Navarro also spearheaded the president’s “Buy American, Hire American” initiative, which tightens enforcement of federal procurement rules and cracks down on alleged abuse of H-1B visas and other foreign-hiring programs. In April, Trump called Navarro “one of the greats at trying to protect our jobs.”

Then Navarro started to fade from view. Trump turned his attention to the unsuccessful effort to repeal Obamacare and after that raced to get tax cuts passed by the end of the year. John Kelly arrived as chief of staff at the end of July and restricted access to the Oval Office. In September, Kelly folded Navarro’s office into the National Economic Council. Navarro was required to copy his new boss, Cohn, on emails. He wasn’t invited on Trump’s state visit to China in November.

But Navarro never stopped pushing his agenda, which intertwines economics and military readiness and puts China at the heart of U.S. policy. He pressed the Pentagon to seek increased funding for Abrams tanks and Bradley Fighting Vehicles, in part to keep open the factories in Ohio and Pennsylvania that make them, according to Wessel, who represents United Steelworkers President Leo Gerard and is a congressional appointee on the U.S.–China Economic and Security Review Commission.

He also argued successfully for the Pentagon to seek funding for another Littoral Combat Ship, again to keep the shipyards where they’re made afloat. And, according to Wessel, Navarro was behind Trump’s executive order requiring a broad review of the nation’s defense industrial base. It’s due in April.

Navarro has come a long way from his roots as a mainstream economist. He supported free trade in a 1984 book, “The Policy Game: How Special Interests and Ideologues Are Stealing America,” arguing that tariffs “protected the profits of a small core of domestic industries” while harming consumers. (He explains that because “the globalist erosion of the American economy” was just getting started, he hadn’t recognized it then.)

By 1993 he was expressing some misgivings. By the 2000s, China was on his radar.

He concluded that it owed its success to unfair trading practices. In 2006 he published The Coming China Wars: Where They Will Be Fought, How They Will Be Won. In 2011 he wrote Death by China: Confronting the Dragon — A Global Call to Action (co-authored with Greg Autry), which argued that the U.S. and China are on a trajectory for armed conflict.

Navarro essentially barged into the China-watcher community without an invitation. “Navarro is not known in any China circles,” James McGregor, a former chairman of the American Chamber of Commerce in China, told Foreign Policy magazine last year.

But it was “Death by China” that caught Trump’s attention. Trump provided a blurb for a 2012 documentary film based on the book: “Right on. … I urge you to see it.” The trailer features a knife, representing China, that’s plunged into a red, white and blue map of the U.S. Blood leaks from the tricolor corpse. “He gets criticized for the ‘Death by China’ meme, but he’s been way more correct about China than almost any other observer,” says Paul, the Alliance for American Manufacturing chief.

Plenty of observers wouldn’t agree with Paul that Navarro is correct on China, or much of anything else. That’s unlikely to bother someone who’s followed a convoluted path to power, and who revels in his outsider role: the economist and self-made China expert who’s regarded with suspicion by other economists and China experts. And in Trump’s White House, none of that hurts him a bit.

—

With assistance from Andrew Mayeda

#Trade

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exclassified · 7 years

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III. An Acknowledgement

Any time the humiliation of betrayal suddenly becomes painfully vivid, I try my best to keep myself afloat. Because I have a thesis to finish, job vacancies to apply, and one more chance to seize the day that I should not waste. I can’t be the sad young adult who continuously struggles to make peace with her disastrous romance. Society demands 24/7 optimism that radiates effortlessly out of a young woman. I want to confirm what society wants by not faking it. But it’s a damn hard work to make it when I’m still consumed by the negative emotions. I loathe that my over-sensibility lets them attached inside.

A close pal of mine semi-seriously suggested to release the repressed disappointment by going the most “evil” version of myself. Send the screenshot! Scream the truth one is hiding from!! Burst the bubble she’s been living in comfort!!!

However, I barely have the courage to execute that kind of plan. In fact, I was just one window chat away. I could have just gone brutally honest and burned the bridge. But the idea of tearing down another fellow young woman via messaging app sounds like something I would be ashamed of in the future.

I already tried to reach her out for a super quick meet-up to come clean. To share the complete, uncensored version of the story. To tell her right in the face that I hold no more grudges. To let her know that if later our path cross each other’s in a professional setting, I won’t be hostile to her in any possible form. But it’s a request declined. Alas, it’s a pack of mixed feelings left unexpressed.

If I could ever ask something in a very self-absorbed way, I didn’t want to live carrying any emotional baggage. I never had one until I was involved in this situation. I can’t stop blaming my lonely 22-year-old self for opening the door recklessly – I barely knew who was knocking at that time.

I should have found more about their past, on-and-off relationship dynamic. I should have followed my intuition to opt out of the game the moment I realised I was just a rebound. I should have taken the red flags seriously when I knew sooner-or-later it’s going to be a toxic relationship that causes real, lasting damages. I should have researched better online (shout out to collective geniuses who create blogosphere) that they’re bounded by unresolved issues, that one of them will give it another try in the future — which they eventually did with one hell of background story remains untold.

It’s not that I regret 100% upon this ugly episode. I cherish the silent moment, the laughter, the tear-jerking argumentation we shared together. I draw some lessons out of falling too deeply with someone’s dream. I appreciate his help and occasional kindness. I learn in so many ways about what it’s like to cooperate with someone (who rarely put you in his top priority while you always do) on day-to-day basis. On top of that, I am completely aware that I can’t force someone’s feelings towards a relationship. Had he asked for an end, I’d have jumped off the ship voluntarily. Looking for my life vest a month or two. Then I’ll go sailing on my own. He didn’t and that’s where the fiasco began.

It’s just this unpleasant, exhausting feeling that the only thing I can hold is the hope of time-will-heal. What if this time it’s expired? Or what if the only way to strip off this always-fresh wound is by getting the side of my story heard?

I kinda keep a little fool, wishful thinking that compassion and curiosity will somehow move her to lend ears for me. I do want to listen to her side of the story, too – only if she let me, though. Maybe someday she will see that making a stranger’s little fool, wishful thinking comes true is a part of doing random act of kindness.

P.S. Hey, I am not trying to do any harm to anyone. It’s the last thing I have in mind to reach the last stage of grief. If you happen to stumble upon this page and finally considering that a stories exchange simply wouldn’t hurt, I’m always available for a full disclosure.

Jakarta, March 3, 2017.

II. CLOSURE

I have never been through a series of mental breakdowns as much as I had in the last three months of 2016. It was real tough, romance wise. It was the most sickening emotional rollercoaster I’ve ever experienced — and I put the blame on my incapability of letting the hurts go. I keep them, hoping they’ll soon turn to be blessing in disguise.

I choose to stay in the game because who knows. I self-console that maybe this is worth the pain. That maybe someone whom I do care would eventually be a person I wish him to be.

I know all the formulas to cut off the whole thing: avoid any possible access of communication, talk to friends, meet new people, travel. As each days passing, none of them are helpful to eliminate myself from the equation.

It is just so hard to cross someone out of your life when you’ve found comfort in the daily companionship. Then, here you are bound to helplessness because you’ve tried patience but it didn’t work.

You raise the bar of tolerance one inch at a time. You’ve tried empathy. You put yourself on the other shoes to share the burden from the past. You’ve tried kindness.

You choose love over hatred, compassion over resentment, big-heartedness over vengefulness. But these efforts are not really reaching closure. And that’s one lesson to learn from en route to adulthood: you’re not getting what you want. life is not according to your desired plan.

Growing up, I am not equipped to face this kind of hardship. A kind of hardship made from the feeling of being taken for granted, of being the one who is sitting on the bench, of being the un-chosen.

To digest these three without becoming a crybaby would be a milestone of my early 20. It’d be a litmus test of how immune I’ll be to the next major heartbreak.

It’d be a solid proof that I could throw myself into any interpersonal experiments and I wouldn’t be losing my grip. I’d be fine and I’d be just the same person only going in another direction. However, this is an ideal scenario I am failing to live up to.

Remember, the Clinton’s affair? I’ve been pondering how Hillary forgives his husband. What kind of man — who happens to be POTUS42 — thinks betrayal is pardonable?

How long does it take for Bill to earn the trust back? Does Hillary still see him as the same person who make the vow to be a loyal and honest partner?

Does she write as a therapy? How is her coping mechanism? How does she react when she hears about Monica Lewinsky?

Is she suddenly in tears? Does her body ache? And my no.1 wonder is, have Bill already got his karma?

All in all, I did learn the hard way to conclude that any form of deep emotional attachment is a risky investment; the other party might not mean to hurt us but who gets to decide what is hurtful and what is not?

I also eventually prove that one famous saying “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” does not apply in certain relationship. We can’t expect grown-ups to grow empathy and treat their lovers decently.

That’s such a bitter realisation, but apparently that’s exactly how the human world works, I believe. It is not that the path is against us – it is just the path.

Yogyakarta, January 21, 2017.

I. 11 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Let Yourself Emotionally Ripped Apart

1. It keeps you awake at night for days or worse, weeks.

You’ll wake up staring at the mirror and curse yourself for dark circles that your cheap concealer is unable to cover.

2. It generates too much what-ifs during the sleepless period.

Unfortunately, this self-talk does not fix anything you ruined. It’s completely over and whoops, it is all too late, stone-headed!

3. It turns you to be overly melancholic.

You can’t listen to Linger by The Cranberries without immersing yourself in the lyric, the melody. All you want to do is singing your heart out.

4. It slaps you hard that “hey, deep emotions are exhausting to have, you know.”

You are overwhelmed and hardly handle the ups and downs then wondering why you just can’t quit being a grown-up.

5. It makes you feel you have a bad life while what you actually have is only a bad moment.

But, still. Bad is bad, right?

6. It haunts you in silence.

in your phone screen, sent e-mails, sponsored t-shirts, blue toothbrush, checkered sarong, hairy arms, and whatnot.

7. It reminds you about the cancelled plans.

The movie you were both about to watch, books reading session, a weekend getaway, grad-school prep, and so on.

8. It makes you sound like a broken record for recalling the whole story to every distant but close pals who throw “how are you doing?”

“Not as fine as the last time you saw me.”

“Tell me.”

*voice squeaks*

*tear drops*

9. It makes you realise that crying barely helps us to let a person go.

10. It freaks you out that years later you will be having a classic episode of permanent regret.

11. It tells you to expect timeless restlessness.

Look, next time, please do yourself a favour: pick a better fight. To be in a state of broken-beyond-repair should only happen once in a lifetime since once is a mistake and twice is a decision.

Depok, February 29, 2016.

#personal

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