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caedogeist-rights · 3 years

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Podcasts ranked by the amount of kissing/gross sounds in it (and also how romance-repulsed/aromantic-friendly it is), by me, your neighborhood aro and hater of Body Sounds. Spoilers ahead for every single podcast listed!

(also, this got long, so uh. see under the break for the full list.)

1. Time:Bombs: The Perfect Podcast, not a gross foley, kiss, or romance-heavy plot in sight. I’ve got nothing bad to say about it, im sorry. It’s perfect.

2. Northwest Footwear Database: It is beauty, it is grace, it has got no Weird Sounds (unless you count a banging song and in-depth discussions of shoes. which i do not). A weird fiction podcast, so not Perfect in the listening, but... still #2 for a reason.

3. RQG: it is a ttrpg podcast. theres very obviously no kissing foley here. Thank G-d, is all im saying. Also has a QPP with a PC, and i give every budding romance an aro thumbs up!

4. Wolf 359: I don’t remember any terrible sounds, there’s no explicit romance- overall, a Good One! 1/2 a point taken off for the mental image of freezer-burned doug.

5. Kaleidotrope: oh, if there ever was a good podcast! This podcast is also kinda obsessed with love, which is nice, but focuses on romantic love for 90% of it, which is less so. Oh kaleidotrope... you need some aros.

6. TSCOSI: I adore this podcast! this is a wonderful podcast with wonderful characters, and I enjoy the ace rep! However, the torture scene in the s1 finale was... less enjoyable. 1 minute of Terrible, but it counts. (we have entered one-strike-territory)

7. The College Tapes: I am filled with adoration, but also, the book and cult chanting is creepy and unnerving. Also, the sheer volume of romantic pining was... overwhelming. Didn’t hate it, but not The Aro Friendly Podcast of my dreams.

8. Mabel: I do not remember much of this podcast, except I enjoyed it and there was some foley that was uncomfortable. Overall, not bad, but... a romance-focused plot, no matter how much I love it, with uh. Weird Sounds.

9. Archive 81: behold, my favorite podcast! Why, you may ask- oh, it simply is the Weird Shit Aro Haven of my dreams! Not a kiss or romantic plot to be found (some of yall ship chris and lee, and i support you, but i never interpreted them as romantic, so It Doesn’t Count on this list). However. the heart-eating scene. the s2 surgery scene. the concept of half the characters? the definition of body horror. Gross! (we have entered into the couple-strikes territory)

10. Stellar Firma: much like a81, perfect except for just one thing, and in this case, its the foot kink shit. Please listen to stellar firma, but also. Hartro’s Foot Kink. I give it my aro sign of approval, though! (I have also only listened up to s2 finale, so uh. idk after that).

11. The Bright Sessions: there are xactly two reasons why this podcast is rated so low on this list. One, there’s quite a bit of romance in this podcast. I’m not against 80% of it, but like... Romance Exists. Two, Safehouse! I do not want or need to hear a man beaten half to death, no matter how much I hate him!

12. TMA: but, you might ask, why is TMA so low? It’s got not a kiss in sight, an a canon ace! Yes, I say, that all is true. It’s why TMA is in its special little category: As An Aro I’m Fine But What The Fuck Bro. An ace main character cannot erase the experience of listening to jon’s hand be burned while I was on a public bus, my Actual Physical Repulsion to michael’s voice, and also all the gore. It’s Gross, Bro! Edit for post e200: yeah.... i must admit the kiss was gross and the sound design really only got more disturbing, so its staying at #12, but... keep in mind that this podcast is simply quite terrible on the ears.

13. Junoverse (Penumbra Podcast): Didn’t mean to make these three popular podcasts the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th worst ones, but what can i say! these fuckers have foley. Junoverse is one of two podcasts in the special category Make Room For Jesus, and juno gets here primarily because of the downright ridiculous amount of making out in it, plus a Giant Subplot being romantic, and also the multiple scenes of torture/a character getting Hurt, Badly. However, not the worst, since while kissing is gross, I can deal. Torture/death/screaming/gore, however...

14. The AM Archives (including Order&Chaos): behold, the pride of the Make Room For Jesus category. I love this podcast/s more than life itself, but I also used transcripts for most of it, so I was able to actually get through it. But from what i could get from transcripts/listening to the finale/asking fellow listeners, its... well, #14 for a reason. And what I can say: this podcast has everything! Burgeoning romance thats, ngl, kinda uncomfortable to listen to! A Kiss (thank you, Order&Chaos, for giving me lovely poly content, but... Kiss Gross)! Copious amounts of screaming and torture! Emotional distress of many varieties (mine included)! Extended Death Scene! I’m sorry, i feel like doing tama a disservice by ranking it last, but unfortunately... it ain’t easy on the ears, and I’m incredibly glad I avoided a lot of it! (...i still did listen to owen’s death, tho. which. aaagh i’ll never be over that one, huh). I love you, TAMA and O&C, but you are hard as hell to listen to.

ty for reading to the end! please, i take aro-friendly podcast suggestions! again, this is based on memory and memory alone (tama excluded), so uh... whoops! if i forgot something important

#kye does rqg #kye does a81 #am archives spoilers #tama spoilers #order and chaos spoilers #tma #a81 spoilers #benny speaks #if this shows up in tags it shows up in tags im sorry but i Cannot Fix That

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caedogeist-rights · 3 years

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hey this aint a critique just some thoughts but something ive been thinking abt in rqg is the cult of Hades... specifically, what are they doing? (Spoilers for the ancient rome sidequest and everything up to it under the cut. Also, TW for vague discussions about death and funeral practices)

in ancient rome, the cult of Hades acted as the funeral directors of the city, which is, in my personal opinion (no follower of Hades myself, but im passionate about death culture and greek myth), exactly the type of group Hades' folk would be. Hades is typically just a god interested in the natural order, and hes more of a constant in the world than an active force like the other gods (which makes sense- death is inevitable and universally applicable, so Hades would never actually need to fight for influence). From what we know about the church in ancient rome, and at least what i know about Hades and belief systems that orient themselves around the death process, we can paint a picture of the cult of Hades as basically religiously oriented morticians and grief counselors, on a similar level as the cult of artemis, aphrodite, or poseidon (helping people, being symbols of divinity and charity, but with their individual flavors and specialties).

AND THEN. two thousand ish years later, the cult of Hades is funding an army and a whole host of other world-threatening things? I know thats a lot of time for a lot of things to change, but truly i am curious why the cult of Hades- followers of a generally neutral god- is trying to fuck with the simulacrum and all the things the party has been fighting against.

I can see two general options of whats happening, and im definitely more partial to one, but honestly either could be viable.

One: The cult of Hades that we see is evil- but not all of it. Kinda like how the party (minus cel) havent actually met a normal ass elf, the lolomg are just incredibly unlucky to only meet the subsect of the cult of Hades that personally wants the world dead (or something. I do not know!) The rest of the cult of Hades are fairly typical magical funeral directors, saying rites, burying bodies (etc... oh man remind me to talk about how magic and specifically the spell gentle repose would influence burial traditions). Maybe the meritocrats have painted the cult of Hades out of time, and those who are genuinely chosen by Hades are having to make their own way and build back a public face that isnt squizzards and apocalypse plots.

Two: i genuinely do hate this, but its very possible that the cult of Hades is just evil. my thought is that internal corruption moved the ideals of the cult enough over time for evil squizzards, clerics, and paladins to not be completely out of the blue for the party when theyre put face to face with evil Hades people.

alternately, "the cult of Hades" is evil, but it also isnt a proper religious group. Whoever is running this fake cult is literally weekend-at-bernies-ing a religion, which would be such an interesting plot, and i can only hope that if its true, we get to experience it. Another possibility could be that Wellington is using the squizzards, which are associated but not full blown members of the church, and therefore the party really isnt interacting with the cult of Hades, but their associates.

I really dont want the cult of Hades to be evil*, but i mean, it would make sense- two thousand years is a long time, and groups change. But, if that isnt so, in such a religiously minded world (at least in europe and northern africa), why is the temple of artemis presiding over the dead, instead of the church of Hades?

*By the way, i dont like the trope of death-aligned symbology and religious groups being automatically evil because its just kinda a complete misunderstanding of what a direct religious connection to the process of death and mourning does to a person, and that the core of death-positive culture is the natural order of life and death. Death is a misunderstood thing in media, and i really want rqg to not play into this one trope.

#rqg #kye does rqg #ancient rome arc #ancient rome spoilers #ive had thoughts while listening to this show!#and i really wish we knew just one non-evil cleric or paladin of hades #please if you have thoughts talk to me about them! this is just kinda my own questions and headcanons and pov #and if love to hear others pov on the cult of hades #also i realize i didnt mention the time the lolomg literally met hades but. they were in his house i dont rlly think that shows everything #ky speaks

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